


Boudin Balls

by crazyTXgradstudent



Series: Collision Course [2]
Category: Chase Landry - Fandom, Jacob Landry - Fandom, Michael Fassbender/Original Female Character - Fandom, Swamp People, original male character - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Forced Abortion, Incest, Promiscuity, Rape, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:05:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 51,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All about the LeBlanc boys</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Aunt Ellie!” Cooper yelled as he ran through the kitchen to greet Lennie’s friend. The blonde woman scooped the boy up and hugged him to her chest. Cooper giggled as Ellie tickled him for a few moments and then set him down.

“Happy birthday, Coop!” Ellie laughed.  She handed him a _Transformers_ gift bag, and Cooper started jumping up and down with excitement.

“Cooper! Take it out to the backyard with the rest of your presents,” Lennie ordered him gently.

“Awww! I wanna open it now!” Cooper whined up at his mother. 

“You heard your, mum,” Michael walked around the corner and gave Cooper the “daddy-look.” Sighing dramatically, Cooper shuffled off to the back yard with his bag. Michael smiled at Ellie as he held out his hand.

“Hello. I’m Michael.”

Ellie took his hand, and cut her eyes at Lennie as she grinned impishly.

“Why, hello, Michael! I’ve heard so much about you!” She shook his hand eagerly as Michael looked over at Lennie and grinned again.

“All good, I hope?” He winked at Lennie and she shook her head at him as she came around the island to his side.

“All horrible, Michael.” Lennie sidled up to him and he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her on her temple.

“Don’t believe a word this woman says, Ellie,” Michael chuckled as he held a hand over his heart. “I’m an innocent angel.”

Lennie snorted and pinched Michael’s stomach playfully. She moved out of his arms and headed back to the island to finish the details on Cooper’s cake. Ellie pulled up a bar stool and was scooping off some wayward icing off the edge of the cake when the back door opened.

“Hey, Lennie, you wanna come outside?” Jacob came in the back door.  His eyes landed on Ellie - who was licking icing off her finger - and silence settled over the kitchen. Lennie looked between Jacob and her friend, her eyes narrowing as she watched them appraise each other. Finally, Jacob spoke as he came forward.

“Hello. I’m Jacob, Lennie’s brother.” His voice was uncharacteristically high, and Lennie’s eyebrows raised suspiciously.

“Ellenore,” her friend purred, causing Lennie to look at her in puzzlement.  _Ellenore?_

“You wanna come outside, Ellenore?  See the pool?” Jacob offered, and Lennie was taken aback at their behavior.

“Absolutely!” Ellie dropped her purse on the counter top and followed Jacob outside. 

Lennie stared after them, her expression dumbfounded as Michael sniggered in the corner.

“What?” Lennie turned to look at him in annoyance, and Michael walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Your brother’s in love, babe,” Michael chuckled again.

“What?!” Lennie gasped as she tried to peer around him to see outside, but Michael held her tight to his chest.

“Kiss me, sweetheart,” he murmured as he brought his lips down to hers.  Lennie kissed him chastely and then again tried to peer around him to see what her brother and friend were up to. Michael again pulled her back to him, turning her so that he blocked the view.

“Babe?” Michael grinned down at her, and she finally looked up at him.

“What?”  She huffed out as she stared up at him.

“Just leave it alone, yeah? They’re grown, let them do what they will, right?”

Lennie stared down at the center of his chest.

“They’re my family, Michael,” she whined petulantly.

“No, sweetheart. One’s family, and one’s a friend, and they’re gonna get married and have lots of babies.” Lennie glared up at him and punched him in the gut.

“You’re such an ass sometimes, you know that?” she huffed as she moved out of his arms.  She picked up the cake and handed it to Michael. “Make yourself useful.”

“I love you, Lennie,” Michael chuckled as he took the cake from her hands. “Pretty soon it’ll be Aunt Lennie and Uncle Michael.”

“Go, jerk!” Lennie ordered him as she pushed at his back and followed him outside.


	2. Chapter 2

“So you’re Jacob, then?” Ellie asked Jacob as she peered up at him from under her lashes. Lennie had never mentioned how handsome her brother was!!  He was thickly muscled, and the way his jeans hugged his thighs and butt were driving her insane! Not to mention the tattoos that peeked out from under the sleeves of his tee-shirt!  His hair was a dark brown, curling out from under his ball cap, and Ellie was itching to run her fingers across his strong jaw and feel the stubble that rested there.

“I am,” Jacob nodded, and Ellie thought it was cute how he wouldn’t meet her eyes, even though he towered over her by almost a foot.  He was just a big, big man...

“So you live where? Lennie hasn’t said much,” Ellie hedged. She knew exactly where the boys lived, but she wouldn’t let Jacob know that! God, he was so handsome…..

“We live down in Pierre Part. We run a gator business, Leon and I,” Jacob answered, his soft, brown eyes briefly meeting her eyes, but he just as quickly looked away.  God, even his eyes were beautiful! A deep, dark brown fringed with the most perfectly thick lashes...

Ellie wavered between being in awe of how handsome he was, and humor at his shyness, and she bit at her lip to keep from laughing at him.  Was he blushing?  Was she blushing?  She was usually pretty good at flirting with guys, and had no trouble meeting them, but Jacob was disconcerting to say the least.  She'd never felt this nervous around a man before in her life!

“Hey, _Ellenore_!” Lennie sarcastically called from over by the newly finished pool, and both Ellie and Jacob turned to see what his sister wanted.

“I’ll be right back, Jacob,” Ellie assured him with a light touch on his forearm. Jacob just nodded and took another sip of his beer.

“Yeah?” Ellie asked innocently as she approached Lennie. Her friend narrowed suspicious brown eyes at her, and hands were on hips when she spoke.

“ _Ellenore? Really_?” Lennie asked. She looked over Ellie’s shoulder to where Jacob was still standing alone. Ellie followed her gaze and smiled a little smile as she turned back.

“I saw that!” Lennie pointed to her friend knowingly. “Just what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked again, pretending not to know what Lennie was talking about.

“Are you hitting on my brother?” Lennie asked Ellie point blank, and Ellie couldn’t help but grin as she bit her lower lip.

“You didn’t tell me he was so stinkin’ cute, Len!” Ellie whined apologetically. Lennie gasped and was at a loss for words – just momentarily.

“Are you serious?” Lennie asked again.

“Look at him,” Ellie breathed as she turned back to look at Jacob furtively. “He’s hot, Lennie!”

“Oh my god, I think I’m gonna barf. Seriously,” Lennie moaned dramatically. She grabbed Ellie by her arm and dragged her over beside the house so that they were out of earshot of anyone else. Aggravated, Ellie pulled her arm out of Lennie’s grasp and glared back at her friend.

“Really? Of all the things to be pissed about, this is one of them? It could be worse, Lennie!” Ellie muttered angrily as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her friend.

Lennie sighed deeply and exhaled as she looked back over at her brother. She turned back to Ellie and shrugged.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Ellie. He’s just so new to me, and I am kinda protective of him and Leon, and I just don’t want him to get hurt,” Lennie explained gently. Ellie’s face relaxed at her friend’s explanation.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Ellie waggled her eyebrows slyly, and Lennie narrowed her eyes again.

“Okay, I am really going to throw up now.”

“Okay! Okay! All joking aside. He’s really cute Lennie. And he’s so nice,” Ellie stated as she intertwined her arm with Lennie’s.

They both stared back towards Jacob, who was now talking with Michael.  Both women had dreamy smiles on their faces, and both were silent for a few moments as they watched the men. Michael turned, his blue eyes finding Lennie, and he winked at her, earning a blush from her. Jacob turned and smiled as well, and Ellie giggled as she hid her face in Lennie’s shoulder.

“We are so screwed,” Lennie mumbled as she and Ellie walked back over to the men.

“I hope I get that lucky,” Ellie whispered back. Lennie gasped and looked at Ellie with disbelief.

“You're a little hussy, you know that?”

“It’s his fault, Lennie. Damn but he’s hot!” Ellie giggled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Maybe I was trying to protect him from the likes of you?” Lennie whispered out of the side of her mouth as the two of them walked up to Michael and Jacob.

“Maybe you need to protect me from him,” Ellie whispered back, and this time Lennie turned to look at her friend curiously.

_It almost sounded like Ellie was uncertain._

In all her years of knowing Ellie, and of all the relationships she’d helped her friend through, she’d never seen Ellie react this way with another man. Ellie was never, ever uncertain!

And Jacob! What the hell? She’d never seen him so shy, so self-conscious before!

"Jacob,"  Ellie murmured sweetly as she and Lennie stopped before the two men.  Jacob offered her his arm, and with another giggle, Ellie placed her hand on his forearm and allowed him to lead her back down to the water's edge. As he and Ellie walked off towards the edge of the property, Lennie stared after them, a slight crease between her brows. Michael pulled her into his side with an arm around her shoulders, and she absentmindedly wrapped hers around his waist.

“Leave them alone, luv,” Michael murmured against her hair as he kissed her temple.

“Shut it, Fassbender,” Lennie shot back as she continued to stare after her brother and friend.

“What are you worried about?” Michael pulled her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. 

“That they’ll hurt each other,” Lennie replied. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe they’ll fall in love and have lots of babies,” Michael chuckled against her.

“Well, since we’re talking about babies, I guess I should tell you….” Lennie did her best not to giggle as Michael stiffened behind her.

“What does that mean?” His voice was wary. 

“You were talking about babies,” Lennie giggled again.

“Are you pregnant, Lennie?” Michael turned her and stared down at her, his blue eyes wide with panic as he searched her face. Lennie impishly grinned up at him as she fiddled with the front of his shirt.

“Lennie?” Michael gritted out from between clenched teeth, and Lennie finally relented.

“The rabbit is pregnant, Michael. The rabbit you and our son brought home. She’s pregnant.” Lennie patted his cheek softly, but she couldn’t control her giggles as Michael visibly relaxed against her.

“Holy shit!” he breathed out in relief. He released her and leaned over, placing his hands on his knees as he struggled for breath.  Lennie laughed as she patted his back soothingly.

“You alright, Mike?” Leon asked, concerned, as he walked over to the pair. Michael held up a hand to wave him off.

“He just needs a minute,” Lennie giggled again.

“I need a drink,” Michael grumbled as he stood up. He looked down at Lennie with an annoyed grimace and stalked off to find something to drink.

“He alright, Lennie?” Leon asked again as he stared after Michael.

“I hope so,” Lennie murmured as she too stared after Michael.  

Leon looked at his sister out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing.  Too much weird shit going on today - first his brother, and now Lennie.  He took another sip of his beer and resolved to stay out of it - _whatever it was._


	3. Chapter 3

“So…I don’t think Lennie is too thrilled that we’re hanging out.” Ellie broke the silence that had settled over them. Jacob maneuvered the boat where he wanted and shut the engine off.

“Why do you say that?” he asked Ellie thoughtfully.

It had been Ellie’s idea to come out on the water so late at night. She’d begged him to take her spot-lighting, and he was determined to find some gators. He scanned the water with his light, looking for the tell-tale red glow of alligator eyes in the dark.

“I don’t know. She just seemed…weird…I guess.”

“She say anything to ya’?” Jacob set the spotlight down and focused his attention on Ellie.

“A little, yes,” Ellie answered honestly. “I think she’s worried about us both, about us hurting each other maybe.” Ellie felt her cheeks flush at the implication and again she wondered what it was about Jacob that brought out this side of her.

“Well we’re just out on a boat, not getting married!” Jacob chuckled and Ellie relaxed a bit.  When he wasn’t throwing her completely off balance, he made her feel so relaxed. And safe, which was weird for her. She never really felt safe, or at ease, and always felt like she needed to be moving – to or away from something.

“Oh! Here we go, Ellie!” Jacob whispered excitedly. Ellie looked around, but couldn’t see anything, and she looked back at Jacob. He had scooted closer to her in the boat, and motioned for her to come closer to him, near the center of the boat.  Ellie moved over carefully and sat down in the seat next to him. She didn’t want to fall in the water out here! Jacob pointed his spotlight off in the far distance, and leaned in closer to Ellie.

“You see ‘em? Right over there, near the far bank.” Jacob pointed to the area he was talking about and wiggled the light so that Ellie could see. Sure enough, two eerie red eyes reflected back at them.

“God that is so creepy!” Ellie whispered as she brought a hand to her mouth.   Could alligators hear?

“That’s beautiful,” Jacob chuckled again. “Leon would be telling me to get my butt in gear and go get ‘em!”

Ellie looked back at Jacob in horror! “Not at night! Right?”

Jacob laughed again and shook his head. “Not at night, no. And not with you here.”

“What does that mean?” Ellie narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. The moon was providing plenty of light and she could see Jacob’s features clearly.  God he was so beautiful!

“It means I don’t wanna take a chance on you gettin’ hurt, is all,” Jacob explained gently. “You’re too pretty to be getting’ hurt in the swamp.”

Okay that time she did blush, and now she was thankful that Jacob couldn’t see skin color out here; she was sure her face was flaming red!

“Uhm…thanks. I guess,” Ellie giggled nervously.

“I’m sorry, Ellie! I wasn’t trying to offend you,” Jacob started to apologize, but Ellie waved him off.

“No, it’s okay. I just assumed, is all.” She looked back towards where the gator had been at, and she was a little concerned that she could no longer see his eyes. Where the hell was that monster at?  She looked around the boat, trying to determine if it could withstand an alligator attack, and she subconsciously moved closer to Jacob.

“You alright, Ellie? We can go back if you want.” Jacob noticed her movements.

“Have you ever had them attack the boat?” Her voice was a quiet, high-pitched whisper.

“They won’t attack the boat,” Jacob murmured, and Ellie jumped when she felt his breath at her cheek. God!  She had scooted so close to him, she may as well be sitting in his lap!

“How do you know?” she whispered as she turned slightly towards Jacob.  Any closer and she’d be kissing him…

“Cause they know I’m here,” Jacob spoke confidently, and Ellie felt a shiver run up her spine at his strong voice. There was just something about him that made her want to crawl up in his lap and curl up.

“And they’re afraid of you?”

“I believe they are,” Jacob nodded again. “I’ve taken enough of ‘em that they know better than to tangle with me.”

“God that’s hot!” Ellie burst out - and mortified - immediately covered her mouth with her hands.  Jacob was laughing so hard the boat was shaking.

“I’m so dumb,” Ellie rushed out in an attempt to save face, but Jacob was still laughing, although it had grown softer now.  Could her cheeks get any hotter?

“I don’t think you’re dumb, Ellie.” Jacob reached over and tapped on the bill of his ball cap that she was wearing. “I think you’re as cute as they come.”

Ellie looked down, nervously twisting her fingers in her lap as she contemplated how to react to Jacob’s compliment.  That was the second time he'd technically called her pretty, or good-looking.

"I'm not a relationship kinda girl, Jacob,"  she stated bluntly.   God! Where the hell did that come from??

"Good, cause I'm not looking for a relationship right now."  Jacob's soft reply drew her eyes up to him, and he smiled a lop-sided smile at her. 

"What are you looking for then?"  She waited on the edge of her seat for his answer.

"Whatever comes my way." 

"My family is really, really weird,"  Ellie confided.

"Mine is insane,"  Jacob countered with an easy grin.

"Lennie will be mad at us."

Jacob shook his head in disagreement.  "She's too busy with Michael to be worried with us."  He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and Ellie shivered at his barely-there touch. 

"I think you should kiss me,"  she murmured breathlessly as Jacob's fingers rested along the side of her neck.  His grin got bigger and he leaned forward.

"Was hoping you'd say that."  He cupped her cheeks with his rough hands and Ellie's lips parted of their own accord.

When Jacob's warm lips finally descended on hers, she nearly fainted, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.  His lips were soft and gentle against hers, and she had been right about what he smelled like.  He was a heady mixture of the woods, water, and some faint, lingering trace of cologne.  If you could bottle up a manly smell,  it would smell like Jacob.  She melted into him, lost in his kiss as his lips moved over hers ever so slightly.  When she moaned against his mouth, Jacob's hands tightened on her cheeks and he pulled her to him.  Ellie tried to find something to hold on to, and her hands landed on his strong thighs, and she gripped the fabric of his jeans tightly between her fingers.  He sucked on her lower lip and it released with a soft pop as he pulled back and stared down at her. 

"I'm sorry."  His voice was deep and husky, thick with desire, and Ellie wanted to jump on him - right here in this boat.

"I'm not,"  she turned her head and kissed at his hand as she held it against her lips with her own hand.  

"We should get back, Ellie."  Jacob dropped his hands and scooted away from her.  She was barely a foot away from him, but she felt cold all of a sudden - cold and lonely.  She stared back at Jacob in confusion, unsure of what had happened to change his reactions towards her.  

"It's late, Ellie.  We need to go."  He repeated in a flat tone.  Just like that, everything was changed, and she had no idea what she'd done wrong.

He turned on the engine, and Ellie scooted back to her original seat.  She turned around, facing the front of the boat, and said nothing.  The 30 minuted trip back was silent, as neither Jacob nor Ellie would speak.  When they finally got back to shore,  Jacob helped her off the boat and into his truck, and then busied himself with getting the boat properly docked and tied off.  When he was finished, he climbed in his truck and started it.  

"Did I do something wrong?"  Ellie asked timidly as she stared out over the hood of the truck.  She could see the bugs flying about, illuminated by the headlights. 

"No. I did."  Jacob's tone was clipped, and Ellie huddled against the side of the passenger seat door.  "Buckle up, please."

Ellie did as he asked, and Jacob put the truck in gear and headed back out and onto the main road.  It would be a very quiet trip back to Pierre Part, and the silence and tension stretched for miles.  When they finally pulled into Jacob's driveway,  Ellie didn't wait for him to open her door, and scrambled out before he had even put the truck in park.  She rushed to her vehicle and climbed in, and started it up without looking to see where Jacob was.  With shaky fingers,  she placed her car in "drive"  and headed out of his driveway, not bothering to see if he had anything to say to her.  Through her rear view mirror she could see him standing by the bed of his truck,  both arms propped up as he watched her leave.  

"Bastard!"  Ellie griped as she found a radio station.  Yeah, he was cute, and yeah he was nice - for the most part - but she did not need that kind of aggravation in her life.  Not at all. 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Ellie flopped down on her bed as she stared up at the ceiling. “I mean, do you think I did something wrong?”

“No, I’m sure you didn’t,” Lennie reassured her over the line. “You said he was normal, and he kissed you, and then everything changed?”

“Yes. Like immediately, it all changed,” Ellie muttered. “It was like he couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.”

Lennie sighed. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I’m sure it wasn’t you. Maybe he’s still upset over his mama passing. I really don’t know.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“So now what?” Lennie asked softly.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll text him, maybe I’ll fly to South America.  I don’t know.” She rolled off the bed and walked into her living room. “It’s just aggravating, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I know,” Lennie agreed. 

"Your brother is an asshole, Lennie,"  Ellie muttered angrily.  Lennie couldn't help but laugh at her friend's tone - even if she had called her brother an asshole.

"Or maybe you've finally met your match?"  Lennie giggled at her friend's expense.

"You're so funny, Len!"  Ellie grouched as she locked her front door.  "You find out if you're pregnant or not?"

Up in Baton Rouge, Lennie squirmed uncomfortably. 

"Uhm..." Lennie stuttered.  "Yeah, I ah...found out...something."

"Tell me!!"  Ellie nearly screamed over the line, and Lennie held the phone out to save her eardrums from bursting.

"I've gotta talk to Michael first,"  Lennie shook her head. 

"After all we've been through?  Really, Lennie?"  Ellie whined over the line, but Lennie would not budge.

"Well, you're pregnant.  I know it,"  Ellie stated confidently.  "You're pregnant, and I'm over here all alone as usual."

"I didn't say that, Ellie," Lennie mumbled distractedly.

Ellie could hear Cooper in the background, and she knew she needed to let her friend go.

"You didn't have to.  Go handle Coop, and call me back later."

With a hurried goodbye, Ellie and Lennie ended the phone call, and Ellie flopped down on her couch to watch some television.  She was so distracted, though, and couldn't focus on anything.  Her eyes wandered to her phone, and she contemplated calling or texting Jacob.  Just to see if he was okay.  She picked up her phone with the intent to send him a quick, generic message.

**Ellie:  Hi. It's me. Just wanted to thank you for taking me out the other night. It was really fun.  Hope everything's okay with you.**

Ellie worried her lower lip before pressing the "send" button.  Would he think she was weird?  Desperate?  Should she wait for him to contact her first?  What if he never contacted her?  Shaking her head, she pressed the button to send the message,  and then dropped the phone like it was contaminated with some disease. 

She was more than aggravated right now and she had no idea why.   She'd never cared that some guy had rejected her like Jacob had.  Hell! She'd never been rejected - she'd always been the one rejecting the boys. 

"Fuck it," she mumbled as she pulled her laptop on to her lap and opened up the Travelocity website.  She was just going to get out of town for a while, maybe even out of the country.  That always made her feel better.  She perused the tickets that were available, and decided that Cancun looked nice.  She'd not been there in some years, and maybe the Caribbean beaches and warm water were just what she needed to get out of this funk she was in.  With the press of a few buttons, the tickets were booked, and she would be leaving in a few days. 

Damn everything else.

 

* * *

 

Down in Pierre Part, Leon was searching for his brother.  He’d received a letter in the mail today, and it was... concerning... to say the least.

_“Notice of default & intent to foreclose” _ were written in bold letters across the top of the page he was holding.  What in the hell as going on?

He pushed the door to the shop open, and found Jacob at the desk in the back office.  As usual, he was pouring over piles of paperwork, and as usual, it seemed he never made a dent. Leon dropped the letter on top of the stack, and drew Jacob’s irritated brown eyes up to him.

“Are we losing mama’s house?” Leon asked bluntly.

“Yes. If I don’t figure this mess out, yes.” Jacob muttered under his breath. 

Shocked, Leon plopped down in the chair next to the desk and stared at his brother, his brows drawn together in confusion.

“How is this possible? We make good money, Jacob.”

“Mama didn’t have insurance, Leon. How do you think those bills got paid? The chemo, the nurses, the funeral - all of it paid for with our savings. The last straw was the lien against the property.” Jacob leaned back and ran a hand down his face wearily. “I did what I thought was right, Leon. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not blaming you, Jacob,” Leon mumbled.  He stood up and walked over to the window and stared out over their property, his back taut with anger.

“You gonna blame Daddy, aren’t ya?” Jacob asked quietly from where he sat. 

“Who else is there to blame, Jacob?” Leon shot back hotly as he turned to face to face his brother.  His anger was harshly etched in the lines of his face. “When are you gonna stop making excuses for him? This whole thing, losing the house, Mama dying, it’s all his fault!”

Jacob stood up so forcefully that his chair tipped over, and he flew around the desk to Leon, backing the younger brother up a bit and into the wall.  The two men stood nose to nose, chests heaving as they glared at each other.

“Mama dying wasn’t his fault, Leon.” Jacob’s voice was even but firm as he tried to reason with Leon.

“She quit, Jacob! She quit on us! She gave up, didn’t fight no more 'cause daddy was gone!” Leon's face screwed up in despair, and his voice broke with his emotion. Jacob could see that his little brother had tears in his eyes, and he pulled his younger brother into his chest for a reluctant hug. Leon balled his fists at his brothers back as he cried.

“She left us, Jacob,” Leon croaked into his brother’s neck. “She left us, and now we're gonna lose the house, and everything’s gonna be gone.”

Jacob cleared his throat in an attempt to keep his own emotions steady. He’d never seen Leon this way.  Ever.  Losing their father had been hard.  Losing their mother was a million times harder, and now to possibly lose everything else, had Jacob on the edge.  He didn’t know how much more he could take; he was at his breaking point. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“We’re not gonna lose the house, little brother,” he assured Leon.  He hugged him again, his hand at the back of his neck, and released him.  Both of them wiped at their eyes and looked around the room as they tried to get control of themselves.

“What are we going to do?” Leon asked.

“I’ll figure something out,” Jacob replied. He walked back over to the desk and sat back down to look over the papers again. There had to be some way to cut costs somewhere!

“I can pick up extra work down at Fred’s if that’ll help,” Leon offered, and Jacob looked up at him with a half-smile.

“Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, Leon.  I’ll take care of this. Daddy left me in charge and it’s my responsibility.”

“I can help, Jacob,” his little brother countered.

“I’ll take care of it.” Jacob’s tone left no room for argument, and with a reluctant nod, Leon left the shop and stalked off to his truck.

Back inside, Jacob stared at his phone.  Everything in him was telling him to call Lennie, to reach out and ask for help, but LeBlanc’s didn’t do that. His daddy would roll over in his grave if he knew his son couldn’t take care of his affairs.  Besides, Lennie didn’t need to be worrying over his mess – she had well enough going on already in her own life.  They all just had too much shit going on right now. 

Another sideways glance at his phone.  Ellie had texted him earlier as well, but he'd not responded.  What could he say?  That, yes, he'd had a great time, and he'd wanted to do more than kiss her, but what would a girl like that want with someone like him?  He couldn't offer her anything but bills and truck-loads of debt.  He knew from what Lennie had told him previously that Ellie was well-off.  Her daddy was a doctor, and an ordained minister up in Lafayette.  He was also active in politics, and last Lennie had heard was running for mayor.  He'd surely never approve of his daughter dating a broke country boy from down in Pierre Part. 

Jacob shook his head at himself.  He was a fool to think he'd ever had a chance with someone like Ellie.  Better if he just left well-enough alone. 

He turned his attention back to the piles of paperwork in front of him and tried to figure out some way to get him and Leon out of this mess. 

 

* * *

 

Jacob was still at his desk late that evening, but had dozed off, and he jerked his head off the desk at the noise.  His phone buzzing finally woke him, and he slowly opened his eyes. It was his sister.

“Yeah?” he murmured groggily.

“Jacob? It’s me.”

“Yeah, I know. What’s goin' on, Lennie?” He rubbed his face as he sat up.  It was well after 11pm.

“Leon called me.”

“Goddamnit,” Jacob growled as he stood up. He walked the window and looked outside. The house across from the shop was dark, and Leon’s truck was gone of course.

“Jacob…let me help you,” Lennie reasoned with him.

“Stay out of this, Lennie,” Jacob warned softly.

“Why are you being this way?” Lennie demanded. “Why won’t you let anyone help? And why haven’t you told me before?”

“I don’t need your help, Lennie.  Just stay out of it,” he repeated again as he walked through the shop,  shutting off lights as he walked through the rooms. 

“We’re family, Jacob! We’re supposed to help each other!”

Jacob grabbed a stack of papers and shuffled them so that they were somewhat neat again, and grabbed his keys off the desk.

“Yeah, we are, and I’m asking you to stay out of my business, okay?” Jacob opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. He locked the door behind him and headed to his truck.

“Is that what Helene would have wanted? For you to deal with this on your own?”

“Alright, I’m gonna hang up now before I say something that I’ll regret.”  Jacob knew Lennie meant well, but right now was not the time to throw his mother in his face.

“Jacob…I’m sorry,” Lennie stammered over the line, but Jacob had heard enough.

“I’ll talk with you later, Lennie. Tell Cooper I love him.” Jacob hung the phone up and jerked his door open and crawled inside his truck. He was beyond pissed right now. Leon had no business getting Lennie involved.

No business at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings - sexual assault, rape, forced abortion, etc. This may be hard for some people to read. 
> 
> It was hard to write.

Ellie leaned back in her chair, sighing as the hot sun blistered her skin.  Yep.  This was exactly what she needed - sun, sand, a cold beer, and no worries. Here, there was nothing to think about, and everything made sense....

No matter how hard she tried, though,  she couldn’t get her mind to stop turning, and of course her thoughts went back to Jacob and his dislike of her. 

He was intriguing, different in ways that she never gave a second thought to before.  She’d always shied away from boys when she was younger, and then men from down in Louisiana as she got older, and tended to have one-night stands while traveling. Never staying in one place too long was the safest bet.  Besides, good guys weren't her thing.  They wanted too much from her, wanted things that she could never give them.  Jacob was a good guy, and it confused her that she was spending so much time thinking about him. 

She watched as a couple walked along the beach, their inside-hands each holding onto one tiny hand of their little boy as he walked between them. Occasionally they would swing him, and Ellie could hear his laughter even from this far away. Her smile turned into a grimace when she thought about how that scene would never be a reality for her.  She would never be able to have a child like the one walking down the beach, or like her sweet little Cooper back at home.

Lennie always did wonder why Ellie was so willing to watch Cooper, and why she would drop everything to spend time with him. There were times when she felt ashamed, and wanted to tell Lennie the truth, but how did you tell your best friend since childhood that you were insanely jealous of her, sometimes so jealous that it was to the point of hate?  How do you explain _that_ without sounding like a crazy, dangerous person? And now Lennie might be pregnant again, and Ellie was dying a slow death of jealousy and grief that no one knew anything about.  She didn't know how she would go through another pregnancy with Lennie, when the last one had nearly killed her.   Lennie would never allow her around Cooper if she knew the truth behind Ellie’s illusion of the perfect life. 

It was a big, fat fucking joke!

Ellie closed angry eyes behind her sunglasses and leaned her head back against the chair as she allowed her mind to wander…

* * *

 

She was barely 10 years old when it happened the first time.  It went on for quite a while, but Ellie never told anyone. Her cousin said he wouldn’t be her friend if she did, and that her parents would never believe her anyway. Ellie believed Dane; he was 17 after all, so he must know what he was talking about, right?  Her dad never bothered listening to her anyways, not for as long as she could remember. She’d always been just another accomplishment to him, something to show off at political functions, and at church.  Her brother had been treated much the same, but Ellie believed he was treated better.  She'd always felt like she was the black sheep of the family. 

“Children were meant to be seen, not heard,” her father would say.

Ellie could vividly recall hearing those words Sunday after Sunday as her dad preached, and the same sentiment was passed around during Sunday school and then again at Wednesday bible study. One would think she could go to her mother, but that woman was no better. Her mother was quite possibly worse than her father, if one could believe that. Always putting on a show she was,  Ellie thought with another grimace.

Ellie remembered when she had finally told her mother about Dane, and that she hadn’t gotten her period in over two months, and how scared she was.  She'd barely started menstruating a few months prior, so she had no idea what was normal or not.   Her mother had rushed her down to the pharmacy and bought something, which Ellie now knew was a pregnancy test. She’d helped her daughter urinate in the cup, and after that Ellie had been sent to her room to wait for her father. 

Ellie was terrified.  She knew enough about sex to know that this couldn’t be good and that she was probably in big-time trouble.  Everything Dane said was coming true.

When her daddy got home, he was angrier than she’d ever seen him.  He was yelling at her, at her mother, and at one point over the phone to who Ellie assumed had been her uncle and aunt. The next day, her mother took her down to a “special doctor” that was going to help.  Her mother had explained that Dane had been sick, and he’d given the sickness to Ellie, and the doctor was going to take it out.  Ellie just needed to sign the papers, and they would take care of everything. It would be a few years before Ellie realized that she’d in fact been pregnant, and that she’d unwittingly signed an authorization for an abortion. It would ultimately leave her infertile, never able to have children.  The procedure - along with the sexually transmitted disease that Dane had given her - would prevent her from ever feeling normal again.  Thankfully chlamydia can be cured. The effects of an ectopic pregnancy and subsequent abortion in a 12 year old girl? Not as good an outcome. 

They’d all taken so much from her.

Her father’s answer was to throw money at it, to fund Ellie’s bank account in some twisted effort to make amends.  Her mother simply ignored things. She continued to have tea parties, to have social functions for the church, and she had that fucking fake Botox smile on in every picture.  They disgusted Ellie, and it disgusted her to take his money, but it was in some small way, a way to punish him, to take back from him what they’d taken from her.  Besides, she’d never amount to anything anyways.  She had no motivation to do anything. Her brother was the star of the family.  Another doctor up at Drexell, and someone that Ellie could never, ever compete with.  They didn’t speak either, and Ellie wondered if Brian knew the extent of what had happened. They'd never spoken of it, and it was never brought up again after the procedure. 

She sighed in aggravation.

She wished she could tell Lennie. Of all people in this world, Lennie would be the one to understand, and to maybe even help her, but she couldn’t do it. Ellie was too ashamed to offer up the truth.  She was embarrassed, and ashamed, and disgusted with herself.  Lennie had always teased Ellie about her sexual exploits, and questioned the rationale of having all these one-night stands. All those times Ellie had slept with random strangers around the world, she’d been hoping beyond hope that a miracle would happen, and that she’d get pregnant.

It never happened though, and Lennie would never understand how bad it had hurt Ellie when she found out her friend was pregnant. She remembered being furious when Lennie had suggested an abortion after what had happened with Michael. She had flown off the handle, and very nearly ruined their friendship.  Lennie still didn’t understand though.

And Jacob? Well that was too damn laughable. Ellie knew what kind of guy he was. He’d find some sweet little girl to settle down with and they’d have a bunch of kids. Jacob was the kind of guy that would love his wife with all his heart - and she him - and he would make an excellent father to his children one day.  Babies and love - something that Ellie could never offer. 

Besides, he’d turn his nose up at her when he found out how much of a whore she was.

Ellie sat up and crawled off the chair. Enough of all this bullshit and reminiscing about the past; she’d come here to forget things. She headed back to the hotel, intent on finding the bar. It was time to go get something to drink. Maybe she would find a guy at the bar, someone to hook up with to help take her mind off Jacob and all this other shit. Maybe this would be her lucky day and she’d go home with something other than regret and disgust.

Just maybe.


	6. Chapter 6

A week later, Ellie landed back in New Orleans. She quickly made her way to the rental car kiosk and picked up her car and headed downtown.  She’d spend a few days in New Orleans, doing whatever, before she would head back to Lafayette. She had nowhere to go, and nowhere to be, so she was in no hurry.  As she buckled her seat belt, her phone started going off in her purse yet again.  All the missed calls and texts were starting to show up, and she picked up her phone. 

It was Lennie. 

Again.

“Hello?”

“Ellie! What the hell! Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

Ellie sighed wearily.  Jet lag was a bitch.

“I just got back in town, Len. What’s up?” she leaned her head back against the headrest.

“Where did you go?” Lennie’s voice was somewhat calmer now.

“Cancun. I’m in New Orleans now.”

“You don’t take a break, do you?” Lennie asked with a chuckle, and Ellie felt a ghost of a smile appear.

“I’m tired, Len. Is something wrong, or can it wait til I rest a bit?”

“Are you coming home? What are you doing?”

“I’m staying down in New Orleans for a bit, Len.  Continue my vacation.”

“Where are you staying? We may be heading down in a few days, if you’ll still be there."  

The last thing Ellie wanted right now was Lennie and her happy family to come visit her.  No, she would rather be alone.  

“I’m staying at the O’Malley House down on Pierce Street, Len, but I doubt I’ll be there when you get here. I am only staying a day or so, maybe two. Gonna check out Bourbon street, shop a little in the Quarter, but that’s about it.”

“Sounds like you don’t want company to me,” Lennie murmured.

“I don’t,” Ellie replied honestly.

“Wow,” Lennie replied.  She was shocked to say the least;  Ellie never acted this way.

“Look, Lennie, let me go, okay? I’m just really tired, and I need to get some sleep. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow, and I’ll be in a better mood.” Ellie assured Lennie with as much energy as she could muster.  To be honest, she was hung over, her head pounding as if someone were hitting it with a sledgehammer.  She just wanted to go to sleep.

“Okay, Ellie,” Lennie replied softly. “I’m here when you need me, okay?”

“Alright, Len. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Ellie hung up the phone with a sigh of relief.

Finally.

She put the car in drive and headed out to the hotel.

 

**1896 O'Malley House**

**Pierce Street**

**New Orleans, LA**

                                                                       

                                                           

 

* * *

 

The next day, Ellie woke up with an even worse headache. She knew she needed to eat, but just the thought of food was twisting her stomach up in knots. She pulled her cell phone in front of her face and quickly texted Lennie back. Her friend had texted her repeatedly this morning, and Ellie knew that if she didn’t at least let her know something, she’d send out the damn search party.  When the text was sent, she gingerly crawled out of bed and took a quick shower and got dressed and headed down stairs. She wasn’t far from the Canal Street Bistro, and they had omelets that were to die for.

She certainly felt like dying right now.

She walked the short distance over to the bistro and ordered her food. She stepped back outside and sat on the steps as she waited the few minutes for her order to be done. She was looking at the ground, kicking around dirt, when the door opened.  Someone stopped next to her on the steps.

“Ellie?” She looked up, stunned to find Jacob staring down at her.  First thought - God he was gorgeous.  He was smiling that shy smile that he tended to have, and he had his customary ball cap on, dark brown tufts of hair sticking out everywhere. He needed a haircut really badly, and since she was an occasional hairstylist-

“Ellie? You alright?” Jacob asked again.

“Oh! Yes! I’m sorry! I’m tired is all,” Ellie mumbled as she stood up awkwardly. There was hardly room on the steps for the two of them, and she subconsciously stepped down to avoid touching him.  What was he doing here? What were the odds that they would run into each other??

“You sure you’re alright, Ellie?” Jacob looked down at her with concern, and Ellie abandoned her thoughts momentarily as she looked up at him.

“I look like shit, don’t I?” Ellie asked as she self-consciously wrapped her hoodie around her tighter and pulled the hood over her head. No makeup, hair in a messy, wet bun, and a sweat pants and a hoodie – yeah, she probably looked fabulous.

“You look fine to me, Ellie,” Jacob smiled gently at her, and Ellie felt her cheeks heat under his gaze.

“So, what are you doing down here?” she asked in an attempt to change the subject.  Jacob held up his bag of food.

“Getting breakfast.”

“I see that,” Ellie chuckled. “I mean, what are you doing down in New Orleans?”

“Oh…I’m uh…taking care of some business down here.” Jacob looked uncomfortable, and Elle wondered what was going on.  Was he with someone? “Lennie said this was a good place to eat at since I was down, so I figured I would give it a shot.”

Ellie almost snorted out loud as Jacob mentioned Lennie’s name.  Of - fucking - course!!

“Lennie, huh?” Ellie mumbled sarcastically as she realized what had probably happened.  She didn’t need a match-maker in her life.

“I’ll see you around, Jacob.” Without waiting for a reply from him, she started back up the steps to check on her food, but Jacob grabbed her arm below her elbow.

“I’m sorry about the other night, Ellie.”  She stared up at the door at the top of steps, unwilling to meet his eyes. “It was wrong of me to behave that way, and I’m sorry,” Jacob continued softly. His fingers loosened, and she pulled her arm back to her side.

“It’s okay. Really,” she smiled at him stiffly.  Jacob shook his head in disagreement.

“No. It’s not. I’d like to explain some things to you. If you’d let me.”

Ellie looked at him now, and from where she was standing above him on the steps, she was almost his height.  She could see the specks of gold in his brown eyes, and the hope in them as he waited for her answer.  She’d never noticed before, but his lower lashes were just as incredibly thick as his upper lash.  It was annoying that she had to pay for hers to look that full.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jacob asked with a bemused smile, and Ellie mentally shook her head at her stupidity.

“I’m…it’s nothing, Jacob. I’m just tired is all.  Honestly.”

“So that’s a no, then?”

“No to what?” Ellie asked in confusion, and Jacob laughed, a deep laugh that rumbled through his broad chest.  Ellie found it hard not to crack a smile with him, and her lips twitched with the effort not to.

“I just asked if I could talk with you, to explain things. I figure we both got food to go, maybe we can go down to a park or somethin’?”

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Jacob,” Ellie reasoned gently.

“But I wanna give you one,” Jacob countered easily.

“You do?” Ellie asked, and she knew her voice was breathy.  Right now she’d give him anything he wanted - he just had to name it.  _God! What was it about this man?_

“Sure do.” He stepped up a few steps, coming closer to her, and now she was forced to look up at him. “Please?”

“Okay,” Ellie squeaked out.  If he asked for her soul, she’d probably give that to him, too.  Jacob smiled happily and walked up the steps.

“Wait here, okay?”

Ellie nodded mutely, unsure of what just happened.  A few moments later, Jacob reappeared, another bag in hand.

“I got your food. You ready?” Jacob held up the second bag.

“You bought my food?” Ellie asked in disbelief.

“The least I could do.” Jacob gave her a half-smile as he walked down and stepped off the last step. “You wanna take my truck or yours?”

“Well, I don’t have a truck. I’m staying at a hotel down the street, so I rented a car.” She looked around sheepishly and then back up at Jacob. “But I walked over here…”

“So we take mine then,” Jacob answered confidently. “Come on, girl. Let’s go.” He jerked his head towards his truck and Ellie followed along behind him like a puppy dog. He opened her door and helped her up in the truck and closed the door behind her. Ellie sat in shock as she buckled her seatbelt; he was such a gentleman, and she was not used to that at all. She sniffed at the air, and damn if it didn’t smell good in here too! She looked around as Jacob crawled in beside her. He set the food down on the spot between them and buckled himself.

“You ready?” he looked over at her with that sweet half-smile that made her breath catch.

“Yep.” Her voice was an embarrassing cross between a whimper and a squeak, and Jacob chuckled as he started the truck.  The loud roar of the pipes and engine helped Ellie relax somewhat, and she leaned back in the seat as Jacob drove them to their next destination.  They spent the early morning together, eating breakfast together at Woldenberg Park, before Jacob convinced her to hang out with him the rest of the day.  Ellie consented, but only on the condition that he take her back to her hotel to change into something that made her look a little less like a hobo. Jacob agreed, and followed Ellie down to her room at the O’Malley.

“I’ll be right out,” she called as she headed into the bathroom to change clothes. She slipped into some jeans and a loose tee-shirt. She brushed her hair out and pulled it up into a bun – neater this time – and hastily slapped on some makeup in an effort to ease the pallor in her skin. She scrunched her lips up at herself in the mirror – this would have to do.

“You ready?” she asked as she came out into the room. Jacob was sitting on the edge of her bed, texting on his phone when she walked out.

“I am now,” he murmured as he stood up and shoved his cell phone in his pocket. He was smiling at her, and Ellie cocked her head up at him curiously.

“What?” She shrugged her messenger bag over her head and situated it against her hip. She slid her feet into her flip-flops as she looked up at Jacob.

“I’ll tell you later,” he replied as he walked to her door and opened it for her. Ellie walked past him, and stepped out into the hallway.

“I hate when people do that,” she sighed in exaggerated annoyance as Jacob walked beside her.

“Do what?”

“Say something and then say they’ll tell me later.” She stopped in the hallway, and Jacob stopped with her. Hands were planted firmly on hips when she stared up at him. “Tell me now.”

Jacob shrugged as he stared down at her.

“You’re just so cute, Ellie. I wanna stick you in my pocket and carry you 'round with me,” Jacob chuckled as he tucked some hair back behind her ear.  Ellie was speechless, and she was sure her mouth was gaping as she stared up at him. He playfully pushed her chin back up with a fingertip, forcing her to close her mouth.  Yep – she had been gaping!

“Let’s go, girl,” he chuckled again as he reached down and grabbed her hand in his.  Again, Ellie was speechless - _dumbfounded maybe?_ – but she allowed him to lead her out to his truck, where he again opened the door for her and helped her up and in. She buckled and sat nervously as Jacob crawled in beside her.

“You ready?” he asked her again as he put the truck in reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. Ellie nodded quietly and stared out her window as the buildings, cars, and people zoomed by. This man was going to do bad things to her, she could feel it in her heart and she knew it intuitively in her brain. From the way he talked –that accent! – to the way he looked, to the way he opened the goddamned doors for her. He was just too much, all at once. He was too nice. Way too nice for someone like her. She felt like she needed to confess everything to him now, to let him know from the beginning just how bad of a person she was. If he only knew the thoughts that were running through her head right now, he’d drop her off and run as fast as he could.

“We gonna have fun today, Ellie,” Jacob’s deep voice intruded on her thoughts, and Ellie turned to see him smiling at her. 

She smiled back. If today was all she had with someone like Jacob, then she wasn’t gonna waste it on the “what-ifs” and all her past bullshit. She’d make the best of it. Today might be all she had with him, and just for once she wanted to see what it was like to hang out with a nice guy.  No strings attached. No assumptions and no rules.  Just hanging out. 

 

          


	7. Chapter 7

Ellie and Jacob spent the remainder of the day walking along the French Quarter, stopping in at shops that they wanted to check out. They walked through the French Market, pointing out things of interest as they went along. Jacob tried to get Ellie to go into the Reverend Zombie’s House of Voodoo, but Ellie was adamant that she was not going inside. She'd heard too much weird shit about that place!

He relented, and by the late afternoon, they ended up at the Steamboat Natchez. Even though they didn’t have reservations, Ellie was able to get them on the boat. Sometimes it helped to drop her dad’s name…

  
They stood by the front of the steamboat, both leaning over the railing as the jazz band played in the background.

  
“You hungry?” Jacob asked, but Ellie shook her head.

  
“I’m good. Are you?”

  
“Might get a beer later, but I’m not hungry.”

  
Ellie looked back out over the water, inhaling the scent that came off the river. The Mississippi River ran along the French Quarter, and Ellie loved being on it. Water always brought her a sense of calm, of renewal, no matter where it was. She inhaled deeply and lifted her chin, eyes closed as breathed in the humid air. Feeling as if someone was watching her, she turned, and sure enough Jacob was staring at her. He had that lop-sided smile again, and Ellie felt herself blush. Thank god it was dark out here!

  
“What?” she eyed him warily. He shrugged, and reached over and gently tugged on a strand of hair as it blew in the gusting wind.

  
“You’re very pretty, Ellie.” He released her hair, and smiled at her again.

  
“Why do you do that?” Ellie bluntly asked.

  
“Do what?” Jacob was clearly confused, his head cocked to the side as he regarded her. 

  
“Keep telling me I’m pretty, but…” Ellie trailed off, embarrassment heavy as she realized where she was heading with that statement. Fuck.

  
“But, what, Ellie?” Jacob leaned closer as he stared down at her.

  
“Okay, look, I’m just gonna be honest, okay?” Ellie gripped the railing tightly as she spoke. “I don’t do relationships. I don’t have guys telling me I’m pretty unless they want something else.” She turned to Jacob, and looked up at him. “So is that what you want? 'Cause if you do, we can just go back to my place.”

  
The look on Jacob’s face was like a kick in Ellie’s gut. She knew immediately that she’d either offended him, or misjudged him, or shocked him; she didn’t know which, but she knew it was something along those lines. What she’d just said did not sit well with him at all.  He not only physically recoiled from her, but she could feel it between them, the distance that her words had placed between them as he stepped back.

  
“Is that what you think, Ellie? That just because I’m nice to you, or that I compliment you, that I want to sleep with you?” Jacob’s voice was calm, but Ellie would swear that she could hear a bit of anger in his voice. She stiffened her spine and stood a little taller as she spoke.

  
“I don’t do relationships, Jacob. It’s that simple.” Ellie’s voice was tight, the clipped tone hiding the nervousness she felt. She never had conversations like this. She met a guy, they clicked, they fucked, and they moved on. It was always that simple. Why it felt different with this man was beyond her. Somewhere deep down, though, she knew instinctively that she needed to end this now before it went any further.

  
“Told you already I wasn’t looking for a relationship, Ellie,” Jacob argued softly. Ellie turned to look at him, and damn if she didn’t feel tears trying to well up in her eyes.

  
“Then what do you want from me, Jacob? I mean seriously?” She sniffled, and wiped at her eyes angrily. “What did you need to explain to me earlier?”

  
Jacob’s brows furrowed for a moment as he stared at her, and with a deep breath he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to him. Ellie sniffled into his shirt, but she didn’t move away from him. He was big, and warm, and he smelled oh so wonderful…

  
“What if I told you I didn’t know what I wanted? What if I just want to be friends with you?” Jacob mumbled against her hair. He rested his chin on top of her head, and Ellie closed her eyes as he held her.

God he smelled good. Her head was spinning with the feeling of him pressed against her, of his warmth surrounding her, and his smell. It was almost intoxicating, and she tried to be discreet as she pressed her nose against his chest and inhaled.

  
It was a strange feeling that came over her, almost as if she wanted to close her eyes and sleep. It was that feeling you had when you’d been traveling, and then you finally get home and crawl in bed – that sense of relief that comes from knowing you were done traveling and you could finally rest. It was disconcerting, and scary, and exhilarating – all at the same time. She couldn’t deny the way her body reacted to this man, even now in this chaste hug she could feel her body coming alive against him. She was absolutely physically attracted to this man – there was no denying that. Strangely for her though, at the very same time, she felt safe, and comforted, and protected.

  
That was the part that scared her. Sex and fucking she could do; relationships and all that emotional stuff was off the table.

Especially with a man like Jacob LeBlanc.

  
“Ellie?” Jacob’s deep voice rumbled against her cheek as it vibrated through his broad chest.

  
“Hmmm,” she mumbled back, and Jacob laughed. Again she felt the rumbling in his chest, and it brought a tiny smile to her face. She liked making him laugh.

  
“You must be tired, girl. Let’s get you back home, yeah?” Jacob unwrapped his arms from around her, and Ellie reluctantly stepped back and looked up at him. He was smiling down at her, and she held her breath as he leaned forward and kissed her on her forehead.

  
That was definitely a first. She couldn’t ever recall being kissed on her forehead by a man. Ever. For whatever reason, it sent a rush of warmth through her body, and she felt it all the way down to the tips of her toes. She couldn’t control the giddy smile that appeared as she stared up at him.

Just then, a gust of wind blew her hair around her head, and she squealed with laughter as she tried to rein in her wayward locks. With a chuckle, Jacob pulled his ball cap off his head and pushed it down on hers, momentarily capturing her wild hair. 

  
“Better?” he asked as he tapped the edge of his cap.

  
“Better for me, but not you,” she giggled as she stared up at him. She reached up on her tip-toes and tugged on a soft curl as it stuck out by his ear. “When’s the last time you had a haircut?”

  
Jacob ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up even more, and Ellie giggled again.

  
“Been a while, actually. My mama used to cut my hair, and since then I’ve not found any one that can do it the way she did.” His tone had grown wistful, and Ellie was sad that she brought up something so painful for him. She immediately regretted opening her big fat mouth.

  
“Jacob, I’m sorry,” she apologized. She reached down and tugged at his hand, wrapping her smaller one around his rough one. “I didn’t know that your mom cut your hair. I would have never said anything.”

  
“You didn’t know, so nothing to apologize for.” He squeezed her hand tightly in his and gave her a small smile as he cut his eyes at her. “My hair looks that bad, huh?”

  
“You’d look good bald,” Ellie blurted out with a snort, and Jacob burst out laughing. Embarrassed, Ellie tried to pull her hand away from him, but Jacob pulled it to his chest, forcing her into his side.

Ellie shook her head. “I’m such a moron. Ignore me, okay?”

  
“You’re too cute to ignore, Ellie.” Jacob pulled their joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, and again Ellie felt that rush of heat spread out over her body.

  
What would his lips feel like over the rest of her body? God! She closed her eyes against the images, willing them to go away before she did something stupid. He probably thought she was a complete idiot by now.

  
They stood in silence for the remainder of the ride, both thinking their own thoughts, but neither willing – or wanting – to voice them for fear of rocking the proverbial boat. When the steamboat finally docked, they walked off, hand in hand, and back to Jacob’s truck. He again helped her inside, and Ellie yawned as she buckled her seat belt. She pulled Jacob’s hat off and handed it to him as he climbed in behind the wheel.

  
“Thank you, ma’am,” he teased her as he placed it back on his head, bill facing backwards this time. Ellie watched him from the corner of her eye, trying to be sneaky.

  
Could he get any hotter? He was fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station, and Ellie watched as the muscles in his arms flexed with each movement. Even his forearms were sexy! What the fuck? Finally finding a country station, he buckled and started the truck.

  
“I’ll take you back to your place, and then I’ve gotta head back,” Jacob stated with a regretful smile.

“Why now? It’s so late,” Ellie shook her head at him in disagreement. It was nearly 10pm. Pierre Part was too far to drive now, and he had to be exhausted!

  
“I don’t have a room, Ellie. I was supposed to leave earlier today,” he argued back gently. “It’s not even two hours back.”

  
“You could stay with me,” Ellie blurted out, and she winced as the words left her mouth. She peeked up at Jacob to see his reaction. “I have room…I mean...just to sleep.”

  
“Nah, I can’t do that, Ellie.” Jacob smiled benevolently as he placed the truck in gear and backed up.

  
“But why?”  Well now she sounded like a petulabt child for sure!

  
“Why?” Jacob asked as he turned the truck out onto the road and headed back to Ellie’s room.

  
“Yeah. Why?”

  
“Because I like you, Ellie, and I don’t wanna do anything to mess that up.”

  
“I’m not asking you to sleep with me, Jacob,” Ellie huffed out angrily. She stared out her window, pissed at Jacob, and now at herself. How fucking desperate did she sound?

  
Jacob said nothing on the short drive back, and neither did Ellie. The closer they got to the O’Malley House, the more aggravated she got. When Jacob pulled in the parking lot, he had barely put his truck in park when Ellie jumped out and ran inside. She unlocked her door and went in, slamming it behind her, but it bounced off Jacob’s arm as he had followed close on her heels. She turned to stare at him, her hazel eyes heated as she glared at him. Jacob shut the door behind him and tossed his keys on the small table as he walked over to her. Her room was small, and Jacob seemed to fill it up completely with his quiet presence. As he moved closer, she could see that his brown eyes were just as intense as hers, and Ellie bit her lower lip involuntarily, drawing Jacob’s gaze downward.

“Goddamnit,” he murmured, his jaw tense as he closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms.

His lips were on hers in an instant, and Ellie melted at his touch. His mouth was urgent, insistent in it’s quest to claim her, and Ellie opened to him. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue slipped inside, and Jacob gripped her upper arms tightly as he pushed her back towards the bed. They were both breathing heavily, sighs and moans filling the small room as Jacob pressed her down onto the bed. He followed, pulling her with him as he crawled up the bed, and Ellie sighed in relief as he stopped moving and rested himself between her legs. She pushed his hat off his head and flung it on the floor as Jacob released her mouth and kissed along her jaw, drawing goosebumps from her skin as his lips skimmed over her. Ellie whimpered as he took a delicate ear lobe in-between his teeth, nipping at it gently and then soothing it with his tongue.

Ellie was lost in sensation, not having felt this way in so long. Usually she and the guy were drunk, and there was none of this foreplay stuff. Jacob was killing her with his slowness, his every attention to detail, and she never wanted him to stop. She ran her fingers through his hair, clawing at his scalp as she squirmed restlessly underneath him. He leaned back, hovering over her.

  
“Ellie?” he asked the unspoken question, and she nodded up at him as she tried to pull him back down to her. He pulled out of her grasp and stared down at her in frustration. “I don’t have any protection, Ellie.”

  
For a moment, Ellie thought about lying to him as she did the others, telling him she was on birth control so he’d make love to her, but she couldn’t do it. Not to Jacob, not to him.

  
“I don’t have anything either,” her voice was heavy with frustration and need as well. She dropped her head back down on the bed in defeat, and Jacob rested his forehead against her chest.

  
“We could do…other things,” he offered quietly.

  
In all his 33 years, he had never felt so damn childish! He might as well be making out with his 8th grade girlfriend all over again!

  
He felt Ellie stiffen against him, and he moved to get up, but she pulled him down for another kiss. He obliged, nipping and biting at her lips in an attempt to get closer. Ellie grabbed at his hand that was resting at her waist and pushed it down towards the apex at her thighs. He leaned back and looked down at her, and she bit her lip and nodded up at him. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen from his kisses, and Jacob felt a surge of pride at the fact that maybe she wanted him as bad as he wanted her. His eyes never left Ellie’s as he reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, her soft intake of breath causing him to grow painfully hard in his own jeans. He sat up and pulled her jeans off, an appreciative smile appearing as he took in her creamy skin.

She was soft, and smooth, and perfect – an hourglass figure that women would die for. Her hips were ample, and he could imagine what it would be like to rest between them, their bodies joined as those shapely legs wrapped around his waist. Fuck! He mentally grounded himself as he lay back down next to her, his hand resting lightly at her hip. He kissed her again, softly nipping her lower lip as his hand started exploring her body.

  
Jacob slid his rough palm down her smooth waist, grinning as he uncovered those delicious curves that Ellie hid so well. She was no waif; her waist wasn’t chiseled, and her thighs were thick – just like he liked them. He appreciatively glided his hand over the curve of her hip, smirking as his fingertips drew soft whimpers from Ellie.

  
“You’re beautiful, Ellie,” Jacob murmured as he leaned down and kissed her at the base of her throat. Ellie grasped his head in her hands, pulling him back up to her in desperation. He kissed her, but his hand continued moving, pushing her thighs apart as she tried to close them on his hand.

  
“Open up, baby,” Jacob whispered huskily against her lips. “Just relax.” 

God his accent was so thick right now, and Ellie felt herself get wetter just hearing him speak!

He gently pushed her thighs apart, and Ellie let them fall out to the side. She was trembling in anticipation, her thighs shaking as she waited for his touch.

  
Jacob skimmed his hand over her mound, his jaw tightening as he felt how wet she already was. He had barely touched her, and she was already soaking wet. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her, but he knew he couldn’t risk a pregnancy. He forced himself to stay on track; tonight was about Ellie. Nothing else mattered but her.

  
“Jacob,” Ellie murmured weakly as she pushed up against his hand, her body moving involuntarily.

  
“Do you know how beautiful you are?” Jacob nuzzled her cheek as his fingers traveled the length of her core, drawing even more wetness from her.

Ellie squirmed against him, closing her thighs on his hand in an effort to trap him where she wanted him. Jacob grinned against her jaw as he pushed her legs apart again.

  
“Patience, baby.” He slipped the tips of his fingers under the edge of her cotton panties, his body hardening even further at her movements against him.

He slid his fingers down,  feeling the smoothness of skin give way to the thin strip of pubic hair. God how he wanted to see that, to taste that! Fuck! He groaned against her neck, willing himself to calm down as she squirmed against him. Going even further, he felt the wetness as it coated his fingers, and he heard Ellie’s sharp intake of breath as he lightly touched her sensitive nub.

  
“Oh god!” she moaned as she dug her head into the mattress. Her eyes were closed, and she again bit at that lower lip as she panted.

  
Jacob slid his middle finger down her slit, up and down again, dragging the rough pad of his finger along her moist heat. He nuzzled her jaw again, moving her so that he could claim her lips again, and he slid his tongue in her mouth at the same time he slid a finger inside her wet heat. Ellie jerked against him, and he stilled, wanting to be sure that he was doing what she wanted.

  
“Don’t…stop…uhhh…god! Don’t stop!” Ellie clawed at his bicep as she held him to her, and with a prideful smirk, Jacob pumped his finger in and out.

  
He brought his mouth down to hers again, and she grasped his head in her hands as they kissed. All the while Jacob continued, his long, thick finger sliding in and out, each time drawing soft moans and whimpers from her. It was excruciatingly slow, and Ellie was losing her grip on reality quickly.  She released his mouth and turned her head into his neck, nipping at his jaw as her legs clenched around him. He could feel that she was getting closer, her hips thrusting up to meet each time he pushed his finger inside her. He shoved another finger inside her, crooking them in such a way that had Ellie arching up off the bed against him, her breaths coming in quick pants. He leaned up and watched from above, his thumb now circling her clit, and he stared in awe as she came undone around his fingers.

  
God was she beautiful! Her blonde hair was spread out around her in a tangled mess that he ached to run his fingers through, her body arching as she bowed up against him, and he watched as her beautifully-full breasts strained against her tee-shirt. Her fingers twisted in the blanket, holding on for dear life, and he could see a faint sheen of perspiration on her forehead as he pulled her tighter and tighter. He could see her nipples, straining against the thin fabric of her shirt, and he had to stop himself from ripping her top off and burying his face between them.

  
That could come later!

  
Feeling her begin to tremble even more, he pumped faster, drawing out every last drop as she convulsed around him. He felt her gush around his fingers, felt her walls spasming against his fingers as she came, and he himself nearly came in his jeans as he heard her stutter his name in a breathless cry. He continued rubbing her clit, his fingers buried deep inside as she moved against him, and with one last shudder, she finally stilled. He felt her leg fall out to the side, and she dragged an arm over her eyes in exhaustion.

Jacob grinned as he pulled his fingers from her, earning another soft whimper at the loss of contact. He scooted up, moving her arm off her face and smiled down at her. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she stared up at him, her cheeks blooming with embarrassment.

  
“Oh my god!” She whispered as she tried to turn her head to the side to escape his gaze. Jacob wouldn’t let her, and turned her back to him with a finger at her jaw.

  
“What’s wrong, girl?” 

  
“You must think I’m so pathetic!” she muttered, her eyes closed again as she shook her head.

  
“Ellie, trust me when I say that was the hottest damn thing I ever seen in my life,” Jacob whispered huskily. Ellie’s eyes flew open to stare up at him in disbelief, and he nodded his head. “You have no idea what that did to me, baby.”

  
“Really?” she asked dubiously.

Jacob nodded again, and reached down and grabbed her hand and pushed it towards his crotch. Ellie’s eyes widened, her breath hitching as she felt how hard he was. His thick cock was straining against the fabric of his jeans, and he groaned when he felt Ellie gently cup him with her small hand. He pushed himself against her hand, his jaw tensing as he tried to control himself.

  
“Yes, really,” he growled. He reached down and pulled Ellie’s hand away from his painful erection, and placed it back up on her chest. He rested his forehead against hers, and both strained to catch their breaths.

  
“Jacob, I can…you know…” Ellie offered weakly as she ran her fingers through his unruly hair.

  
“No, it’s okay, baby. Just give me a few moments.”

  
Ellie lay back, unsure of what she was feeling. She’d never had anyone do that to her just for the sake of doing it for her. It was weird, and it felt uncomfortable, and she felt like she should be doing something. Why wouldn’t he let her? Did she do something wrong? She felt how hard he was, why wouldn’t he want her to ease that?

Like water finds cracks to fill, her insecurities began seeping in, killing her confidence and mood. Maybe he knew more about her than he let on? Maybe he didn’t want her? What man turned down a hand or blow-job? Feeling sick at her stomach, she pushed at his arm.

  
“Please let me get up,” she whispered. She would not fucking cry. Not now, not after what happened.

  
Jacob pushed himself up and stared down at her in confusion.

  
“Ellie?”

  
“Please, Jacob. Let me up. I need to go to the bathroom,” she repeated. She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Jacob rolled over onto his back, and lay flat as he stared up at the ceiling. Ellie awkwardly crawled off the bed, pulling her tee-shirt down in an attempt to cover her bottom. She didn’t bother to look at Jacob as she scurried off to the bathroom and closed the door.

  
Jacob looked up when he heard the bathroom door lock, but then dropped his head back down again against the mattress. He had no idea what the fuck just happened.

No idea at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Ellie turned on the shower, trying desperately to drown out her emotions. She shakily pulled her shirt off, quickly followed by her bra and panties. Her fingers were trembling as she stepped under the water and began scrubbing her body. Whatever joy or happiness - whatever it was that she felt earlier with Jacob – it was long gone.

Right now, she felt dirty. She felt disgusted with herself and her body, and she scrubbed between her legs in a desperate attempt to remove any traces from what had happened with Jacob. In her haste to clean, she dropped the rag and cursed out loud as she bent to retrieve it. Her eyes were blurry with tears, and her chin was trembling. Giving up, she sank down to the bottom of the shower and scooted back against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest.

  
Why did she feel this way? She had been sexually active for a very, very long time, and she had no trouble having sex with other guys. She’d never felt this way with the other men that she’d slept with. To be perfectly honest with herself, she didn’t even know how many she’d slept with over the years.

Not counting the rape, she’d lost her “virginity” at 14 to a junior high football player. It was after a pep-rally, and he’d taken her home to talk he’d said. One thing led to another and they’d ended up having sex in his bedroom while his parents sat downstairs and watched television. That was the first time she had actively sought out sex.

From then on, it basically spiraled out of control; she could recognize that and admit it. It was almost like a drug to her, the chase, and the sex that followed. Maybe she was punishing herself, she did not know. It was a game, and one that she was good at.

  
Until now.

  
Jacob was too nice. He cared too much about her feelings, and he was too gentle with her. She was used to rough, drunken sex that meant nothing, but Jacob was clearly not about that. She couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to make love to him – because that is what it would be, making love. It wouldn’t be just fucking or having sex without any strings attached. No, with Jacob it would be too much, and he’d never accept her for who she was.

How do you tell a man like him that she would sleep with anything with a dick to see if she could get pregnant? That she didn’t know off the top of her head how many men she’d slept with? That she hadn’t gotten herself tested for STD’s in over 4 years, because basically she didn’t give a damn anymore? No one would miss her if she was gone, so what did it matter?  How do you tell that to someone like Jacob and expect him to not walk out the door in disgust?

  
“You don’t,” Ellie mumbled angrily to herself.

She stood up, quickly washed, and turned the shower off. She dressed, hoping beyond hope that Jacob had left already. When she opened the door and stepped out into the room, she saw that she had no such luck. He was still there, still laying on her bed, his hands resting lightly on his broad chest as he slept. He still had his boots on, and Ellie felt a tiny smile form as she watched him from afar.

  
In sleep, he wasn’t as big and intimidating. She moved closer, nervously twisting the edge of her tee-shirt in her fingers as she stared at him uncertainly. She didn’t want to wake him, but she also couldn’t stand here forever. Being as quiet as possible, she crawled in her side of the bed, and scooted up to the headboard. Jacob lay less than a foot away from her, and she stared down at him.

  
That unruly head of hair was sticking up in different places, and she couldn’t’ help but gently push a wayward lock off his forehead. He didn’t stir, and she wondered again at what he was doing in New Orleans that had him so exhausted. His thick lashes rested against his high cheekbones, and his beautifully full lips were slightly parted. From this close, she could see the tiny freckles that dotted his nose and cheeks, and she ached to run her fingers along his jaw and feel that stubble against her palm.

Unable to help herself, she tentatively reached out and ran the back of her hand along his jaw. Jacob jerked a bit, and swatted at her hand in his sleep, but did not wake up. Ellie smiled again, and brought her hand back up to his strong jaw, and this time ran her fingers along it, delighting at the way the coarse hairs felt under her fingertips.

  
She jumped when Jacob’s hand flew up and he grabbed hers, and his eyes flew open in confusion. He looked around, noticing he was holding a hand, and followed the arm up to Ellie’s shocked face. She stared down at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to do. His brows drew together and he squinted up at her as a sleepy smile appeared.

  
“Ellie?” His voice was thick with sleep.

  
“I’m sorry, Jacob,” she whispered in embarrassment.

She tried to pull her hand out of his grasp, but Jacob wouldn’t release her. Instead, he pulled her down to him, and situated her so that she was resting against his chest. His heavy arm was draped over her shoulder, and she smiled when she felt him kicking off his boots. They thudded to the floor, and he tightened his arm around her as he pulled her closer. He was spending the night with her!

  
“Good night, Ellie,” Jacob murmured against her hair, and she smiled again when she felt him kiss her on her forehead. Again with the forehead kissing, and again it took her breath away. It was so simple, but so sweet.

  
“Goodnight, Jacob,” she whispered back.

She tentatively wrapped her arm around his waist and happily snuggled in to his chest. He was so big, and so warm, and that warmth combined with the steady thud of his heartbeat lulled her to sleep in no time.

 

* * *

Jacob lay still, unable to fall back asleep. Ellie was snuggled into his side, her cheek resting against his chest, and he didn’t want to move for fear of waking her. It felt so right, her here, pressed against him as they slept together. There was no other way to explain it – it just felt right.

He stared up at the ceiling, wondering what had happened earlier when she’d disappeared. He hadn’t thought he’d done anything wrong, but maybe he was mistaken? Ellie had practically run to the bathroom and showered up for what seemed like eternity. When she was gone, he thought about getting up and leaving, but he knew he couldn’t run out on her like that. Not after what had happened between them.

  
He’d always considered himself a good boyfriend when he’d had girlfriends before. He’d always cared about their feelings, and had done his best to show them that. What was happening with Ellie was something entirely different. Yes, he enjoyed sex, and he assumed he was good at it since it had never been an issue before, but Ellie was different. He had never been so focused on the other person’s pleasure to that extent, had never wanted to ensure that they were satisfied the way he wanted to satisfy Ellie.

Even though she came across as very strong and independent, there was something that was almost fragile about her, a vulnerability that he couldn’t put his finger on. Lennie had told him she had never really had a stable relationship, but beyond that he knew nothing about her. She had barely talked about her parents, and he didn’t know if she had brothers or sisters. He didn’t even know where she worked, or if she worked. She was always taking trips somewhere according to Lennie, so she had to have money somewhere.

  
He wanted to find out, though. It was different with Ellie because he wanted to stick around long enough to find out. She was beautiful – there was no denying that – but there was a beauty in her eyes that made him want to please her. He felt protective of her, and something told him that right now she needed protecting. He was missing some huge piece of Ellie’s puzzle, but he was determined to find out what it was. He knew he couldn’t offer her much more due to his current situation, but he could be her friend if nothing else.

  
He smirked to himself, knowing full well that he wanted to be much more than her friend. He’d not had that much fun with a woman in a long time as he’d had today with Ellie. She’d laughed at his corny jokes, and she’d made him laugh. She was so cute, so full of spunk and sass, and he just enjoyed being in her presence. Not to mention how damn sexy she was.

Holy shit but did she turn him on. He stayed in a perpetual state of arousal whenever she was around, and she didn’t seem to have a damn clue. How he managed to restrain himself earlier was beyond him. Even now, with her innocently pressed against his side, he could feel himself getting harder. The way she reacted to him, how sensitive she was to his touch, had only made his thirst for her that much stronger. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.

  
He shifted his legs, trying to get comfortable, but he knew it was useless. As long as this woman was pressed against his side, her small hand tucked away at his waist, he’d never be able to sleep. He sighed, knowing it was going to be a long, uncomfortable night.


	9. Chapter 9

_Her skin was covered in goosebumps as she felt his lips against her rib cage, and she squirmed with delight. A moan escaped her, and Ellie arched her back in anticipation for his lips to take her breast. She looked down, noticing his unruly head of hair at her chest, and she smiled._

_Jacob._

She opened her eyes, then closed them again with a smile. She hadn’t been dreaming. Jacob was most definitely next to her, but it wasn’t his mouth at her chest, rather it was she with her hand shoved up his shirt. As she opened her eyes and fully woke up, she could feel the strain of his stomach muscles as her hand rested there. She could feel the hair that formed a line down to his navel, and she felt a pool of wetness form between her legs at the thought of what lay further below. Unable - or unwilling – to stop, she allowed her hand to travel back up his chest. She skimmed over his hard pectoral muscles, and she felt him stiffen when she just barely brushed over an already taut nipple.

“What you doing?’ Jacob’s voice was gravelly, his thick, Cajun accent heavy with desire.

“Do you want me to stop?” Ellie whispered as she started dragging her hand back down his chest.

“I really hope you won’t,” Jacob gruffly admitted.

With another small smile, Ellie resumed running her hand back up his chest, traveling over the hard lines of his muscles as he tensed against her. She could feel his heart beating fast in his chest, and inwardly she gloated at being able to cause such a reaction in him.

“Take this off, please,” she murmured as she tugged at the hem of his shirt. Jacob obliged, and sat up briefly to pull his shirt off and toss it on the floor. He lay back down, and Ellie took in the sight of him shirtless.

Holy shit.

As she ran her hands over his chest, she could see that the hair on his chest was sparse, giving way to the slim line that led down to the waist of his jeans. His chest was broad and thick, and she could feel the muscles as they tensed and tightened at her touch.   His chest and rib cage were covered in tattoos of various designs, and she traced along the lines that she could make out in the dim light. 

“What are all these?” she asked softly.  She traced one down along his ribcage, and Jacob flinched at her slight movements, causing Ellie to smile.  This big man was ticklish!

“Some mean things to me, some are designs I like,” he answered easily.

“Don’t they hurt?” Ellie asked dubiously. Some were very detailed.

“It’s a good kinda pain,” Jacob chuckled. “Kinda like what you doin’ to me now.”

Ellie looked up at his face, and saw him staring down at her with a gentle smile. With a hand in her hair, he tugged her closer, and brought her face down to his and claimed her mouth. Ellie braced herself against his hard chest as she melted into the kiss.  Jacob’s kisses were always soft in the beginning, almost as if he were questioning her, asking for permission even.  When she nuzzled his nose with hers, he became more forceful, his tongue insistent as it explored her mouth. Ellie moaned against him, and with a moan of his own, Jacob pulled her up so that she was straddling him.  Ellie couldn’t resist rolling her hips against him as she felt his hardness at her core.  Jacob stiffened, and grasped her hips with his big hands, and held her to him.

“I still don’t have a fuckin’ condom.” His voice was gruff as he pulled back and stared up at Ellie. Knowing she was playing with fire, she bit her lower lip and rolled her hips again, causing Jacob to hiss at her movements. 

“I think it’ll be okay,” she murmured as she leaned down to kiss him again. 

Jacob reached down and slid his hands under the waist of her sweat pants, and kneaded her ass. God she was soft! Ellie moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his rough hands on her, and she rolled her hips against him again.  Jacob hastily pushed her sweats down, and Ellie kicked them off the rest of the way as Jacob pulled his own jeans and underwear off.  When she was naked from the waist down, she crawled back over him and straddled his thighs.  With a smirk, she reached down and placed her hands around his thick erection, causing Jacob to buck against her hands. He was so thick, and Ellie could feel him already throbbing against her fingers.

“Fuck, Ellie!” Jacob gritted out from between clenched teeth. 

He pushed up against her again, and Ellie slid her hands up and down his length, her nimble fingers finding the pre-cum at his tip and spreading it around the sensitive head, and she watched as Jacob’s abdominal muscles flexed and rippled with tension at her movements. Without asking, she leaned down and took just the tip in between her lips, and smiled at Jacob’s sharp intake of breath. Taking him deeper, she swirled her tongue around him, delighting at the sounds he was making against her. His hands fisted in her hair as he held her to him, and Ellie greedily took in as much as she could. He was very large, and so very hot, and she clenched her thighs against his as she imagined what it would feel like to have him buried deep inside her. She had just started to bob up and down, matching Jacob’s thrusts, when he abruptly pulled her off him and dragged up his chest. He claimed her mouth, and then slid his hands down to her hips, and maneuvered her so that he was right at her entrance. He looked up at her for just a moment, and Ellie could see the need in his eyes, the brown deep and intense.  He was asking for permission, and not caring about consequences, Ellie nodded, and leaned forward, kissing him as he pushed up into her.

“Ahhhh…god…” Ellie groaned into the side of his mouth as he filled her. With her hands at Jacob’s cheeks, she could feel his jaw flexing with the strain, his body trembling as he slowly pushed into her. He was so big, and Ellie could feel herself stretching around him.

“You…tell….me to stop….okay,” Jacob grunted against her cheek as he pushed in, inch by inch. “If you want me to stop, you tell me.” His voice was low and gravelly, and Ellie turned his face so that she could stare down at him.

“Please don’t stop, Jacob,” she murmured softly. She kissed his lips again, all the while trying to push those niggling thoughts out of her head about the consequences that would inevitably come. She could worry about that later.  Jacob pushed her up, forcing her to sit up on him, and he began thrusting up into her. Ellie leaned back, placing her hands on his thighs as she swiveled her hips against him.  She nearly exploded when she felt Jacob’s hands at her breasts, the large, rough palms cupping her as his thumbs circled her nipples. She was just setting up a rhythm when Jacob rolled them over. He helped Ellie wrap her legs around his waist, and he stared down at her as he slowed his pace.

“You’re beautiful, Ellie,” he murmured as he kissed along her jaw. His nipped at her ear, and she shivered when he spoke at her ear. “I wanna see your face when you come, baby.”  He leaned back up and gently kissed her again.

Ellie stared up at him, seeing the earnestness in his beautiful, brown eyes, and she nearly burst into tears. He was so sweet, so gentle, and he seemed to care about her. This was not how she normally fucked guys, and she never, ever kissed them. She had broken so many rules with Jacob, and he had no idea.  No fucking idea at all.  She blinked rapidly and tried to look away, but Jacob wouldn’t let her.

“Ellie? You alright, girl?” Jacob looked down at her, brows creased in concern. “We can stop if you want.”

Ellie wavered for a moment, her brain and body at war over what she should do.  She knew she had already gone too far with Jacob, and he would never forgive her when he found out. She also knew how turned on she was, and how badly she wanted to let Jacob make love to her.  It was so different with him, and she felt something that she couldn't put her finger on.  He made her feel a certain way that she'd never felt before, and honestly she didn't want this to end.  If she only had one time with him, that would have to be enough.  Jacob pushed up on his forearms and stared down at her even as his body trembled against her.  They were still joined, and Ellie could feel him inside her.

“Ellie? Please say somethin'. You're worrying me.” Jacob began to pull out, and Ellie shook her head as she grasped at his back to hold him to her.

“It’s okay, Jacob. Please don’t leave me.” Her chin trembled as she fought back tears.

“Baby, what’s wrong?  I'm not gonna leave, you.” Jacob leaned back down to her and propped himself up on his forearms again as he hovered over her. “What did I do wrong?”

Ellie choked back the lump in her throat, and she smiled a wobbly smile up at him.

“You did nothing wrong. You're just too sweet,” Ellie whispered as she pushed the hair back off his forehead.  Her heart broke when she saw Jacob’s face relax with relief. God how she hated herself right now,  hated what she was doing to him. She knew he would never forgive her when he found out about her deceit.

“Then let me make love to you, baby,” Jacob murmured as he reached down and pulled her leg back up and over his waist. 

Ellie again thought about stopping him, but she couldn't do it.  She needed him too much, and in more than just a physical way.  Pushing her thoughts and fears aside, she wrapped her arms around his strong back and pulled him to her as Jacob thrust into her, and she gasped at his forcefulness. His rough hand cupped her ass, pulling her to him as he thrust over and over, and over again.  Losing herself in him, Ellie reached up and tangled her hands in the curls at the back of his neck and kissed him.  She kissed him for all she was worth, and she hoped he would not think too badly of her when this was all over.  She just couldn't help it; she'd never made love before.  Releasing Jacob's mouth, she turned her lips to his shoulder, biting the skin there as she felt her body begin to coil and tighten.  Jacob was thrusting harder and harder, and all she could do was hold on, and allow him to take them higher and higher. 

"Let's take this off, baby."  Jacob's voice was gravelly as he pulled at her tee-shirt.  Ellie helped him pull it off, and she quickly followed with her bra.  When her breasts were free, Jacob's rough hand found her, his thumb rubbing her nipple into hardness as he continued thrusting into her. Ellie could feel her body beginning to clench around him, could feel the beginnings of her orgasm coming on quick as her legs started trembling against him.

"Jacob..." she whimpered against his mouth.  "I'm so close, Jacob."

"Me, too," he grunted against her.  "Come on, baby."

At Jacob's urging, Ellie exploded around him, her body shuddering as she found her release.  Jacob followed, his body going taut against her.  His mouth was at her throat, and Ellie vaguely heard his groans and grunts as he pumped inside her a few more times before finally stilling.  She breathed heavily into his hair, her arms and legs trembling as she held him close to her chest.  She loved the feeling of him in her arms.  She loved how vulnerable he felt against her heart right now, even as big and strong as he was.  She had never been happier than she was right now in this very moment, and that brought tears to her eyes - this time tears that she couldn't contain.  She sniffled as she wiped at her eyes, and Jacob leaned up and looked down at her with concern yet again.

"Did I hurt you, baby?" His voice was soft, and it made Ellie cry that much harder.

Did _he_ hurt _her? Oh Jacob, if you only knew!_ she thought miserably to herself.

"No, Jacob," she forced a smile up at him to ease his concerns.  "Everything was perfect."

"Then why you crying?" he asked, the worry still evident in his beautiful brown eyes.

"If I told you I didn't know, would that be okay?"  Ellie asked, and she hoped Jacob wouldn't hear the despair in her voice.  He looked at her for a moment longer, but to her relief, he relaxed and smiled down at her.

"That was amazing, baby," he murmured as he kissed along the column of her neck. "You're amazing."

Ellie swallowed down the lump in her throat at his tender words.  He was too damn nice to her, and it made her feel so guilty.  He wouldn't think she was amazing when she told him the truth about who she was.  He'd be disgusted, and then he'd leave, and she'd never hear from him again.  She could feel her heart start beating erratically as she thought about telling him all her secrets.  Anxiety steadily rising, she pushed gently at his shoulders, and Jacob leaned up to look down at her.  He had that lop-sided smile that she had come to adore, and again, she felt that wave of sadness wash over her at what she was contemplating doing. 

"I'm heavy?" Jacob asked with a chuckle, and Ellie nodded. 

He was so oblivious to what was going on here, but she couldn't fault him for that.  She was the one who'd lied from the beginning.

"I just need to go to the bathroom," Ellie replied as calmly as possible.  Jacob kissed her once more and then rolled off her and onto his back.

Ellie couldn't look at him, so great was her shame.  She scrambled off the bed and grabbed her clothes that she could find and rushed into the bathroom.  When she had locked the door behind her, she turned the shower on.  She could feel the remains of their lovemaking running down the inside of her thighs, and she rushed to the toilet as a wave of nausea washed over her.  As quietly as possible, she retched and heaved into the toilet, her body trembling until nothing was left inside.  She was shaking, and a cold sheen of sweat left her skin clammy and covered in goosebumps.  She stumbled over to the shower and stepped inside, grateful for the scalding hot water.  She winced as it burned her skin, but before too long she became just as numb as she always did.  Every time she had sex with some guy, she would follow it with a shower, as hot as she could stand - anything to get the smell and bodily fluids off her. She scrubbed at her skin, both wanting to rid herself of Jacob, and wanting to keep him  - all at the same time, and she cried softly as she scrubbed the inside of her thighs, wishing that she didn't have to feel this way with Jacob, but she had no choice.  She had no choice. 

Once he found out about her, he'd leave her.  He'd be disgusted by her, and he'd leave.  It was better that she just dealt with it now. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

After composing herself, Ellie dressed quickly and walked back out into her room.  Jacob was dressed in boxers only, and the sight of him standing near her bed, fiddling with his phone in nothing but his underwear made her weak at the knees. He looked up, seeing her come out, and smiled.

“I thought you might of fallen asleep in there, baby,” he chuckled as he walked over and pulled her into his arms. “You feel better?”

“I do, yes,” Ellie forced a smile up at him.  Jacob leaned down and tried to kiss her, but she squirmed out of his arms.

“I’m a little tired,  sorry.” She smiled apologetically at him as she picked up her phone and busied herself with it.  Jacob stared at her for a moment, but said nothing as he began scooping up his clothes.

“You mind if I get a shower real quick?”

“Sure. Go ahead,” Ellie answered, and she did her best to keep her voice neutral.  Just as soon as she heard the shower turn on, she scrambled to collect her things and shoved them in her suitcase. Luckily, she didn’t bring much, and everything in the bathroom could be replaced. She grabbed her cell phone, room key, and purse and headed downstairs. She paid the bill, and left the building as fast as possible, all the while feeling like Jacob would be fast on her heels. Only when she was in her rental and headed back to Lafayette did she feel safe. Not that she was afraid of Jacob, but she had to get away from him. She couldn’t bear to tell him the truth after what had happened. She knew he would be pissed to find out she left him, but a tiny part of her wondered if he would be hurt.  Her phone started buzzing in her purse, and she ignored it, wondering if Jacob had already found out she was gone.

* * *

 

Back in the room, Jacob dropped down onto the bed in shock. He dialed Ellie’s number again, but he knew she wouldn’t answer. He kinda felt that something was up with her, but never did he think she’d just roll out like that and leave him. Pissed and confused, he stood up and grabbed his hat and pulled it down low. Making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, he walked downstairs, not bothering to stop at the front desk. He hopped in his truck and peeled out of the parking lot, heading back home.

Ellie was nowhere in sight.

As he pulled onto the highway, his thoughts again turned to her. He didn’t know what to think right now. Part of him was fucking pissed off at Ellie, but the other part was hurt. Yes, he was hurt. After what they’d been through last night, for her to just up and leave, well that stung like a bitch. His jaw flexed as he tried to calm his racing heart. He was so damn pissed off right now, and the more he thought about Ellie, the more pissed he got.  He almost felt used, and that was a feeling he hated more than anything. 

She had a lot of goddamn nerve!

His cell phone rang, and he glared over at it as he picked it up.

“What?” he barked into the receiver, not bothering to see who it was.  He knew it wasn’t Ellie, so what the fuck did it matter?

“Well hello to you too,” Lennie quipped.

“Not in the mood, Len. What you want?” Jacob growled as he flew down the highway.

“I’ll disregard your rudeness for now,” Lennie huffed out. “Have you seen Ellie?”

At the mention of her name, Jacob swerved on the road in anger, but quickly righted the truck.

“Why would I have seen her?” he muttered as he straightened out the wheel.

“Because I know you were both down in New Orleans yesterday, and I am pretty sure you were together. Now she’s not answering my phone calls.”

“Yeah, well, look Lennie. I don’t know where the hell she is, and I really don’t care right now. I gotta go,” Jacob snapped back.

“What happened between the two of you?” Lennie asked, and Jacob could hear the concern in her voice.

“Lennie, I’m tryin’ be nice as possible, but I can only do so much. I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”

“Jacob Andrew! Don’t you dare hang-“

Jacob hung up the phone, completely turned it off, and flung it on the seat next to him. He turned his angry gaze back onto the highway in front of him, willing himself to calm the fuck down before he crashed his fucking truck.   Goddamn but he was pissed!

He reached over and turned on the radio, finding the classic rock station and turned it up loud - anything to drown out his thoughts and the sound of Ellie’s voice in his ear.  Led Zeppelin filled the truck, and Jacob did his best to put her out of his mind. 


	11. Chapter 11

Finally making it to Lafayette, Ellie pulled up to her small apartment and quickly went inside.  She dropped her bags at the door, and headed straight away to her bedroom. Her phone started buzzing again, and she groaned, knowing it was either Lennie or Jacob. 

She didn’t want to talk to either right now.

Heading into her bathroom, she opened up the medicine cabinet and pulled out her anti-anxiety meds and popped two.  She sipped water straight from the faucet to wash the pills down.  She was only supposed to take one, but tonight she needed two for sure. She followed that with a painkiller that she had been given for her back some time ago. She was so damn tense, and she needed to get some sleep. Finishing up in the bathroom, she walked back into the kitchen area, and sat at the table for a few moments, just trying to decompress and calm down. Her peace was short-lived and she sighed when she heard her phone ringing yet again. Picking it up, she saw it was Lennie, and this time she answered.

“Hi, Len,” Ellie answered as cheerfully as she could muster.

“Don’t try that shit with me. What is going on?” Lennie practically yelled over the phone, and Ellie winced as she plopped down on the couch.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t be stupid with me. What did you do to my brother?” Lennie accused, and Ellie could feel her ire rising at the insinuation.

“Wow, Len, really nice.”

“I'm sorry.  You know I don’t mean it that way,” Lennie backtracked softly. “I just called him, and he’s very upset. What happened, Ellie?”

Ellie leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes as she contemplated what to say.

“Ellie?”

“What do you want me to say, Len? It was good, we had a good time, and then it got fucked up.”

“Who fucked it up, Ellie?” Lennie wouldn’t let her off that easy.

“I did, of course,” Ellie admitted easily.  She sighed as she felt the effects of the meds start to kick in. She frowned, thinking that was awfully quick for them to work, but at least she would get some relief finally.

“Jacob did nothing wrong?” Lennie asked dubiously.

“Jacob was perfect, Len.  Jacob _is_ perfect.” Ellie whispered sadly. “Too perfect for someone like me.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Lennie grouched. “There is nothing wrong with you, Ellie!”

“You don’t know me, Lennie,” Ellie shook her head sadly. “You think you do, but you really don’t.”

“What is going on?” Lennie nearly screamed in frustration. “Quit being so damned secretive, and talking in code, and tell me what the hell is going on!”

“I gotta go, Lennie. I'm…so… tired… I just wanna sleep,” Ellie slurred out.  Strangely, her vision was blurring, and she couldn’t focus on the television. What the hell was going on? Weakly, she tried to hold onto the phone, but it slipped out of her hand and landed on the couch as she slumped over.

* * *

 

Over in Baton Rouge, Lennie loaded up Cooper as fast as possible in the car and took off to Ellie’s house. Something was terribly wrong, and she was scared to death for her friend.  She dialed Ellie's number over and over, each time going straight to voice mail, and this only served to scare Lennie even more.  When she arrived at Ellie’s apartment nearly an hour later, she frantically banged on the door. When Ellie didn’t answer, Lennie, in a state of panic and not knowing what else to do, picked up a flower pot and busted out the glass on the front door. She opened the door, and ran inside. Her worst fears were met when she saw Ellie slumped over on the couch, the phone laying on the couch near her. She ran over to Ellie and lifted her head, slapping her cheek to get her to wake up.

“Ellie! Ellie wake up!” Lennie cried. Oh God! She should have called 911 before she got here! God she hoped she wasn’t too late!

“Mama? What’s wrong with Aunt Ellie?” Cooper timidly asked from the edge of the couch.

“Give me her phone, baby,” Lennie instructed him softly. Cooper did as she asked, and handed the phone to his mother. 

“Is Aunt Ellie okay?” he asked his mother. He was on the verge of tears, and Lennie could not deal with that right now.

“She’s just sleepy, baby. She’ll be fine,” Lennie replied as she dialed 911. Her fingers were trembling with fear, but she needed to remain as calm as possible so as not to scare Cooper any more than he already was. 

“Why don’t you sit over on that couch and play your tablet, baby?”

Cooper did as she asked, although he watched his mother warily as she continued to gently slap Ellie’s face while speaking on the phone to the operator.  Finally, the ambulance was on the way.

“Please wake up,” Lennie whispered furiously as she shook her friend. Lennie bit back tears as she held Ellie to her chest, and she was still holding her, rocking her, when the ambulance arrived a few moments later.

After that, it was a flurry of EMT’s shoving her out of the way and doing what they do. Less than 10 minutes later, Lennie and Cooper were following the ambulance on the way to the emergency room. 


	12. Chapter 12

Ellie cracked open her eyes, and tried to focus on the room.  It was white, and it had that weird, sterile smell. 

The hospital.

Why was she in the hospital? She tried to sit up, but her skin pinched as she realized she had an IV taped in the top of her hand. She looked around and saw that Lennie was curled up in a chair in the corner, with Cooper resting on her lap.

“Lennie?” Ellie croaked.  Her throat was dry, making speaking difficult. 

“Lennie?” she called again, a bit more forcefully.

This time,  Lennie lifted her head, and saw Ellie staring back at her. With a finger at her lips, she lifted Cooper off her and laid him down gently. She covered him with her jacket, and made her way over to Ellie.

“How you feeling, sweetie?” Lennie asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Like shit,” Ellie whispered. “What happened?”

“You took the wrong pills, and too many of them, and you had a reaction, El.” Lennie reached over and grabbed Ellie’s hand and held it gently.

“Damn,” Ellie whispered as she fell back against the pillows. She didn’t even want to think about what might have happened had she not been on the phone with Lennie at that time. Her chin trembled and she clenched her eyes shut to ward off the tears.

“Ellie…what’s wrong, sweetie? I am so worried about you,” Lennie murmured as she scooted closer.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Lennie. Everything’s all just falling apart, and I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll figure it out, El. Just rest, okay?” Lennie brought their joined hands up to her mouth and kissed the back of Ellie’s, smiling gently as she did so. 

 “Knock, knock.”

The door opened and Jacob walked in, his large presence filling the room. When Ellie’s eyes met his, she felt like ripping the IV out and crawling under the bed – anything to escape his stare. He stood by the door for just a moment, looking at Ellie, before moving into the room.

“Jacob!” Lennie smiled as she stood and went to hug her brother. Ellie shifted uncomfortably and did her best to smooth her hair down. If she looked as bad as she felt, God help her…

Jacob walked over and smiled down at her, but Ellie could see the strain around his eyes. The smile wasn’t genuine, and she felt it deep in her core. He didn’t want to be here; Lennie had probably called him, and he didn’t want to be here.  Really, though, what did she expect?

“How you feelin’?” His voice was flat, obligatory even, and Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat at his coldness.  Just yesterday they were making love, wrapped up around each other.

“I’m fine, thank you,” she whispered as she looked away and fiddled with her blanket.  She couldn’t meet his eyes any longer. He needed an answer from her she could not give him at the moment.

“Glad to hear that.” Jacob turned to Lennie. “I’m gonna head out, Lennie. Got work to do back at home.”

Lennie grabbed Jacob’s arm as he turned to leave.

“You drove all this way up here and you’re only gonna stay for two seconds? Really, Jacob!” Lennie pouted. “Please stay a little longer? I need to run Cooper back home, and I don’t want to leave Ellie alone. Can you stay with her until I get back?”

“That isn’t necessary, Lennie,” Ellie weakly protested from the bed. The last thing she wanted was to be left alone with Jacob!

“Shush, you!” Lennie barked at her friend. She turned back to Jacob. “Please stay with her? I’ve got a sitter coming for Coop, and then I’ll come right back. No more than two hours.”

Jacob’s jaw tensed as he stared up at the ceiling in aggravation.

“Please?” Lennie asked him sweetly, her small hands on his tense arm. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

Jacob looked over at Ellie, and saw how she was trying to disappear into the bed.  She didn’t want him here, he could feel that keenly. He looked back down at his sister, annoyed at being put in such a position.

“Two hours, then I’m leavin',” Jacob warned her. He walked over to the window and stared out of it silently.  Wordlessly, Lennie kissed Ellie on the forehead, and scooped up Cooper and headed out.  When the door closed behind her, Ellie looked up at Jacob.

“You don’t have to stay, Jacob,” she whispered timidly.

“I told my sister I would,” he replied.  His arms were crossed over his chest, and Ellie could see how tense his back was from where she sat.

“I’m fine, Jacob, really,” Ellie countered, and her eyes grew wide when Jacob turned his angry gaze on her.

“Was it that bad?” he quietly asked her, his brows drawn together under his ball cap.

“What? Was what that bad?” Ellie asked in confusion.

“Being with me,” Jacob shot back angrily. “So bad that you had to run out on me, and go and take a bunch of pills?”

Ellie clutched her throat, horrified at the conclusion Jacob had drawn. It was absolutely not that!  She shook her head, unable to find the words as a few tears began rolling down her cheeks.

“Why didn’t you tell me to leave before?” Jacob asked as he walked over to her. “Before it went further, why didn’t you tell me to get the hell on then?”

“Jacob…I…” Ellie stammered, at a loss for what to say to make this better.

“I know all about your daddy, and your family, and your money, Ellie. Why didn’t you just tell me beforehand? Instead of letting me get hung up on you?” Jacob accused angrily.

“Jacob, that is not it,” Ellie choked out sadly.

“Then what is it? I’m like a damn mutt sniffing at your heels!”

“Jacob! Stop, please!” Ellie cried, tears flowing freely now. “It’s not anything like that!”

Jacob ran a hand over his face wearily, and Ellie noticed just how tired he looked. Had he slept since they’d parted? His beard was grown in fuller it seemed, and she realized he was still wearing the same clothes as when she’d left him in New Orleans.  The man looked worn out, and she knew she was to blame for much of this.   Driving back and forth all over Louisiana because of her!

“Look, Ellie, I know now is not the time or place,” Jacob began. He looked up at her, and Ellie’s heart broke at the look on his face - she’d never seen a more defeated man than the one that stood before her. “I know I don’t have nothin’ to offer somebody like you, and I get it. It’s the way things are, I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders in resignation, and Ellie wanted nothing more than to crawl out of the bed and hug him, to tell him that none of this was his fault.

“Jacob, please,” Ellie began again, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“I don’t need your pity, Ellie. It is what it is, right?  When my sister gets back, I’m gonna go, and I promise I won’t bother you again.” He turned back to the window, broad shoulders slumped in defeat. “Let’s just forget about all that other stuff, okay?”

“Jacob, let me explain, please?” Ellie pleaded softly.

“I’m going to get somethin’t to drink,” Jacob replied, completely ignoring her plea. “Want anything?”

Ellie shook her head numbly, and Jacob left, leaving her feeling alone. She covered her face with her hands and cried, hot tears of pain and regret for not being able to do what was right. What she wanted was Jacob. She wanted to tell him the truth about her, about who she was, and to tell him how he deserved so much more than someone like her.  He was much too good for her, and she needed him to understand that. She wanted to lay it all before him, and to do so with the hope that he may forgive her.  Even if it meant nothing else, she didn’t want him to feel that he had done something wrong. 

She cried, and waited for him to return, hoping to get the chance to tell him everything.  She didn’t care anymore; her need to assuage his guilt and preserve his self-worth were far greater than anything she herself might lose in the process.  She knew who she was, and what kind of person she was. Jacob was a good, good man, and she would be damned if he thought otherwise because of her. She scooted down against the pillows, still crying softly as she waited for him to return.  She would doze off to sleep before he would come back, and that’s how he found her.

 

* * *

 

Jacob thought how tiny she looked in the bed as she was wrapped up in the hospital blankets, her fists balled up underneath her chin.   He could see that she'd been crying; even now her lashes were still wet with tears.  He tentatively smoothed the hair off her forehead that had fallen forward.  She stirred just a bit and he pulled back, but she didn’t wake. Relieved, he sat down in the chair next to her and waited.  What he was waiting for, he did not know.

For Lennie to return so he could leave?

For Ellie to wake up and give him an explanation?

He had no idea, he thought, as he took another sip of his water. He was so damned confused right now.  It was never a thought in his mind that Ellie would have left like that. When he got out of the shower and found her gone, at first he thought she’d gone down to get something, maybe food or something to drink. Then when she never returned, and didn’t return his calls, only then did reality finally set in.

She’d actually left him.

He couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt more used in his life. It was a foreign feeling to him, and one that pissed him off, but also simultaneously made him incredibly sad, and he didn’t know which emotion was stronger at the moment.  Right now, staring at Ellie, seeing how small and vulnerable she was, he was sadder than anything. He was sad that she would leave him like that, and sad that she would do something so dangerous that would land her in the hospital. Lennie hadn’t indicated whether it was a suicide attempt or not, but Jacob could feel something was off with Ellie. She hadn’t looked well when he’d first seen her in New Orleans, and there were tiny indicators that she may be going through something that even Lennie didn’t know about. Or maybe Lennie knew but wasn’t telling him.

He had no idea what was going on here.

He leaned back in his chair and gripped his ankle where his leg was crossed over the other and waited.


	13. Chapter 13

About twenty minutes later, Lennie walked in. She smiled, relieved to see that Jacob was still there. She headed over to him quietly, and sat down in the chair next to him.

“How is she?” she whispered to him.

“She’s fine. Asleep since you been gone.” Jacob’s tone was clipped, and he shrugged as if he didn’t care. Lennie frowned at him as he stood up.

“Are you leaving?” His sister asked incredulously.

“Yep.” Jacob pulled his cap off and smoothed his hair before placing the hat back on his head and pulling it down low.  He dug his keys out of his pocket.

“Why are you being so cold, Jacob?” Lennie demanded in a furious whisper as she glared up at her brother as she placed her hand on his forearm questioningly.

“I’m not doin’ this right now, Lennie. You call me later, okay?” Jacob shrugged her arm off his and stalked out of the room, and all Lennie could do was watch him go in a stunned silence.

“He’s leaving because of me, Len,” Ellie rolled over, and Lennie could see that her friend had been crying. Ellie scooted up in the bed, and wiped at her nose with a tissue.  Lennie came forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Please tell me what’s going on.” Lennie reached over and grabbed Ellie’s free hand again. “I can’t stand seeing either of you this way.”

“Where do you want me to start?” Ellie asked sarcastically, and Lennie was taken aback.

“Is it that bad?”

“You have no idea how bad it is, or who I really am,” Ellie chuckled humorlessly.  Lennie was shocked at how self-deprecating Ellie was being;  it was almost a hatred for self that she was hearing from Ellie, and it shocked Lennie.

“Well, I’m a psychologist, so I’ve heard a lot of shit,” Lennie asserted confidently, trying to ignore the warning bells that were flashing in her head. “Start at the beginning.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Ellie shook her head sadly. 

Over the next hour, she recounted the molestation, the rape and pregnancy, and subsequent abortion that left her most likely infertile. She recounted the stories about her father and mother to Lennie’s shock and horror. She told Lennie how she now slept with any man she could in an attempt to get pregnant, and that she’d been having unprotected sex for a long time. She also told Lennie how she hadn’t been checked for STD’s, and that she was scared about that, but many times she really didn’t care one way or the other. When all of that was out, Lennie sat in a stunned silence before finally finding her voice.

“Did you have unprotected sex with my brother, Ellie?” she whispered, horrified as the realization hit her.

“Yes,” Ellie timidly admitted. Never before had she felt so ashamed of what she had done. Lennie stood up and walked away from her, her hand at her mouth as she tried to take this all in. Ellie felt her heart sink as she watched her friend walk away from her. Her worst fears seemed to be coming true.

“Did you tell him all of this? Does he know?” Lennie asked her as she turned back around to face her.

“No. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.” Ellie started crying again, her shoulders shaking with emotion.  Surprisingly, Lennie quickly walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her friend’s shoulders and held her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Lennie. I never wanted to be this way with Jacob.”

“I know, sweetie. I know,” Lennie rocked her friend softly. She kissed Ellie on the forehead, and leaned back to stare at her, her smile gentle.  "I love you, Ellie, and I want you to know that I don't think any less of you after all you've told me.  You are beautiful, and you are smart, and none of this changes the way I feel about you.  I get it, okay?  Who wouldn't act and feel the way you did after all that horrible stuff you went through?"

Ellie blankly stared back at Lennie, unable to believe her, unable to accept her acceptance of her. 

"I mean it, Ellie.  It all makes so much sense, you know?  You were so hurt - are still so very hurt - and you were, and are doing the best you can, right?"  Lennie spoke softly to Ellie, almost as a mother speaks to a child, as she tried to normalize all this for Ellie.  She had to get her friend to understand that it was going to be okay, and that what she had done was not something that defined her as a person.  Ellie was not broken.

"Thank you for sharing all that with me, Ellie.  I can only imagine how hard that was for you, and you've been carrying this around so long, yeah?"  Lennie nodded at Ellie with an encouraging smile.  This time, Ellie nodded back, finally accepting some of Lennie's words.  "But you don't have to carry it around anymore, Ellie.  You're not alone, sweetie.  I'm right here with you, okay?"

At that, Ellie burst into tears again, and for such a long time, Lennie just held her, offering soothing words of encouragement as Ellie purged herself of years of self-flagellation.  Years upon years of shame and self-hatred, all bottled up inside, finally came pouring out as Ellie cried into Lennie's chest.  It was some time later when Ellie finally calmed, her sobs turning into small, occasional sniffles.  Knowing what needed to be done next, Lennie kissed Ellie on the forehead before speaking.

“We need to get you checked, okay? Just to be sure.”  Lennie's tone was hopeful, non-judgmental, as she tried to coax Ellie a bit.  She could only imagine how embarrassing this must feel for Ellie, and she wanted to handle it with as much compassion as possible, and to afford Ellie as much dignity as she could.

Ellie nodded numbly, and allowed Lennie to do whatever she needed to do, and a while later, a nurse came in with some testing kits, and administered them. Some results would be fairly quick, while a few others would have to be given at least a day or so. When it was all over, and the nurses had gone, Ellie leaned back against the pillows and offered a weak smile up at Lennie.  She was both mentally and now even more physically exhausted.   She was still so very ashamed of herself, but she almost felt a sense of relief, seemingly as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  She no longer felt she was carrying this around by herself, and now she could finally rest and catch her breath.

“I love you, Lennie.”

“I love you more, crazy girl,” Lennie smiled back.

“I have to tell you something, and I don’t want you to hate me, but it has to be said, okay? Since I am being honest, I need to get it all out.” Ellie’s voice was tremulous as she spoke. Lennie, unable to find words in the face of more revelations, just nodded her head as she reached over and took Ellie’s hand again and held it tightly.

“I used to hate you for so long when I found out you were pregnant with Cooper.” Ellie winced as the words left her mouth, the enormity of what she'd just revealed hung in the space between she and her best friend.

“What?” Lennie whispered, shocked at Ellie’s admission.

“Because I can’t get pregnant, and you did so easily, and-”

“And I wanted to have an abortion,” Lennie finished softly. “It all makes sense now. Oh my God, Ellie. It all makes sense. The anger, our fighting – it all makes sense!”

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed sadly. “I envy you so much, and always have, and I’ve never been able to tell you that. I love you so much, but at the same time, I hated you.”

“It’s completely understandable, Ellie,” Lennie leaned in, getting down to eye level, and smiled gently at her friend.  "I get it. I really, really do.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Ellie looked up tearfully at her friend.  She was shocked at how easily Lennie was accepting all of this.  Lennie shook her head.

“Of course not, El. I get it.” She crawled up on the bed and sat next to her friend, her eyebrow cocked playfully. “Don’t you remember what I do for a living?”

“I should have told you earlier,” Ellie mumbled as she fiddled with Lennie’s ring.

“Yes, you should have. I can’t imagine you having to deal with this all on your own, El, and I am so sorry you felt that you had to.”

“I am so disgusted with myself, Lennie. I mean, who does what I do? I’m a whore, you know?” Ellie whispered again as her emotions threatened to choke her.,  Lennie hugged her even tighter, squeezing her shoulders gently.

"You are most certainly not a whore, Ellie.  You were hurting, and you were doing the best you knew how to feel something, to try to find some connection with anything, with anyone," Lennie reasoned with her.  "And each time, it left you feeling more and more empty, didn't it?"

Ellie nodded, not trusting her voice as she listened to Lennie explain it so succinctly.

“And that’s why you ran out on Jacob, isn’t it?” Lennie asked softly, knowingly. “You care for him, and you think he would never care for you if he knew the truth. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” Ellie whispered again, completely broken by this last admission.  That was the root of all of this:  someone like Jacob - someone that she desperately wanted - could never want her in the same way she wanted him.  She was unlovable. 

“You don’t know my brother very well then, Ellie,” Lennie smiled against her friend’s forehead. “He’s a good man.”

“Too good for someone like me.”

“Perfect for someone like you, sweetie,” Lennie argued back gently. “He’s exactly what you need, and you are exactly what he needs.”

Ellie looked up at Lennie in confusion. She was the last person Jacob needed in his life.

“Quit,” Lennie warned her, seeing the protest bubbling up inside of Ellie. “I know my brother has strong feelings for you, and I can see that you do as well for him.”

“He’s so sweet, Lennie,” Ellie whispered wistfully. “I have never had a man be so nice to me. It’s weird.”

“He is very nice,” Lennie agreed. She was very fond of Jacob, and Leon as well. “He’s a good man, El. I think he would listen to you, and it might be hard, but I think he would understand where you’re coming from.”

“He’s mad at me right now. Very mad. He said as much earlier.”

“Was he rude to you?” Lennie immediately bristled, but Ellie giggled a bit and pulled her back down to her side.

“I did something very, very stupid, and he has every right to be mad, Len.”

“Do I even wanna know?” Lennie asked warily. “I mean, how bad could it be?”

“We made love, and while he was in the shower, I left him at the hotel,” Ellie squeaked out, her eyes closed as she waited for Lennie’s reaction.

“You did not!” Lennie gasped. “You really did not…did you?"

“I did.”

“Oh my God! You are insane, Ellie!” Lennie sat up and looked at her friend in annoyance. “Why would you do that?”

Ellie shrugged, her chin trembling as she found herself on the verge of tears again as she thought about her actions.

Lennie, seeing her friend’s despair, pulled her in for another hug.  Ellie was so fragile right now, her wounds so raw, and Lennie needed to keep that in mind as she helped her navigate through all of this.  The last thing she needed was one more person judging her; she did enough of that on her own. 

“I’m sorry, Ellie. I get it,  I really, really do, and I can understand why you would do that.” She smoothed Ellie’s hair down soothingly. “Just get some sleep, sweetie. We’ll deal with all this tomorrow, okay?”

Ellie, relieved at no longer having to talk, snuggled down into the covers and leaned her head against Ellie's shoulder.  It wasn't long before she drifted off into a more peaceful sleep, her heart and mind finally finding some respite after all these years. 

Above her, Lennie absentmindedly twiddled with her friend's hair as she tried to process all that she'd been told.  Now it all made sense.  She started remembering times in their childhood that may not have made sense then, but looking back now as an adult, Lennie could see the cracks that were all over.  She could remember times when Ellie seemed to be happy, and now, thinking about the timeline, she could remember when Ellie transitioned from a carefree kid to a young woman seeking affection wherever she could find it.  It all made such perfect sense, and Lennie's heart broke anew at all the shit Ellie had gone through. 

Fast-forward to present day, and Lennie began thinking about how she could help not only Ellie, but Jacob as well.  Neither one believed they were good enough for the other, and it was glaringly obvious to everyone but the two of them!  That couldn't be further from the truth;  they were perfect for each other.  She was quite sure that Jacob had not told Ellie about his problems with the property, and she snorted a bit at her brother.  That man was too damn prideful for his own good sometimes!  She was also sure now that he had no idea of the hell Ellie had been through, or of the hell she was going through as she tried to navigate her feelings around him.  Ever the therapist - and now matchmaker -  she began formulating how she could bring these two back together.  In her mind, they were exactly what the other needed, and she was going to figure out how to make that happen. 


	14. Chapter 14

Ellie shoved her key in the door, smiling as she stepped inside; it was still so surreal to her what a few months of healing and recovery could do. It was going on 4 months now that she’d moved down to New Orleans and opened up her own salon, and the shock and happiness hadn’t worn off yet. The salon, as great as it was, wasn’t what she was most proud of though.

 ** _Ellie’s Place_ ** was indeed a salon, and it did very well as such, but it was more than just that. Knowing where she’d come from, and the things she’d gone through, Ellie had decided to do what she could do to give back to the community  - in whatever capacity she was able to. She prided herself on hiring lower-income women, and especially those with a sexual assault or domestic violence history. She also offered free make overs for those coming out of prisons, or homeless shelters. It had been Lennie’s idea at first, to try to help her see outside herself, to try to use her past experiences in such a way so as to help others. At first it was so hard, and Ellie could remember crying herself to sleep at some of the women’s stories – because she saw herself in every one of them. Before too long, though, she realized that she could be miserable with them, or she could give them the hope that they were desperately looking for. She chose to do the latter, and she’d not looked back since.

“Morning, Ellie!” Denise called cheerfully from behind the front desk.

Denise was your typical college kid, bright and bubbly on the outside, but carrying around a secret deep inside. At least she had been when Ellie first met her. Denise had been raped on the local college campus, and she’d tried to commit suicide multiple times because of it. Denise had no real extended family, and was putting herself through college with loans and grants. Lennie had originally referred Denise to Ellie by way of mutual colleagues in the counseling field. Ellie interviewed her 2 months ago, and the girl had been working here ever since.

“Good morning, Denise!” Ellie replied with a smile. She set her purse down behind the counter and opened up the appointment book. It was February, nearing Mardi Gras, and Ellie knew they would be swamped with people wanting to get their hair done for the various balls and other festivities. “Have you heard back from Carla?”

“Oh yeah, she called earlier,” Denise replied as she finished sweeping the area around the first station. “She’s on her way, but is bringing Isaac with her. She wanted me to let you know since her sitter flaked out on her.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Ellie smiled again.  Another perk of being a boss – your employees could bring their babies in if need be.  Ellie found that productivity didn’t suffer, and in fact her employees performed better when they didn’t have to worry about their children.

“How’s your grades?”

“All A’s,” Denise stated proudly as she walked up to Ellie. “Only one more semester to go and I can start doing my rotations.”

Ellie reached up and playfully pulled on one of Denise’s braids, chuckling as she did so. Denise had dropped out of traditional college, and was now attending a local cosmetology school in order to become a hairdresser. She was the first person in her family to not only graduate high school but to attend college and a trade school. Ellie was very, very proud of the young girl.

“I hope you’ll do them here, of course,” she cocked her eyebrow at Denise playfully.

“I’m terrible with ethnic hair, and who better to handle that than you? ” Denise beamed as Ellie praised her, and nodded enthusiastically at the possibility.

“I’m going to learn how to do braids, and weaves, and all that! Would I be able to do that here?” Denise asked hopefully. Ellie nodded, again with a smile.

“Of course. I want this place to be diverse, Denise. Anyone’s welcome here.” Ellie pulled out her cell phone and checked for messages. “I’m gonna go back to my office for a minute to check on some things. Can you let me know when my client gets here? I’m expecting someone at nine, but not sure if she’ll show.”

“Of course,” Denise nodded, and Ellie headed back to her office to begin her day.

* * *

Nearly 12 hours later, Ellie was finally closing down shop. Denise, Carla, and Sarah had all left earlier, leaving Ellie alone to close up. She shut off the lights and stepped outside, locking the front door behind her. She started walking, following the sidewalk up and around through the French Quarter on her way to her apartment. It was super busy this time of year, and even now, the area was still lit up with people partying. She had just turned the final corner to her street when she slammed into a thick body, and she gasped as cold liquid splashed all over her.

“What the hell?” Ellie looked up to see who had dumped their beer on her, and she nearly fainted.

“Ellie!” Jacob stared down at her with wide eyes, his face registering just as much shock as hers. He reached out and unthinkingly grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling it away from her skin. “I’m so sorry!”

Ellie jerked away from him, speechless at seeing him after all these months.  The last time she had seen him was at the hospital;  he’d never answered her phone calls or texts after, and she’d given up, choosing instead to just work on her own recovery. They stood staring at each other for just a moment, Ellie in her wet shirt, and Jacob looking pretty much helpless, when a young, blonde female joined them.

“Jake!” The girl giggled as she wrapped her arm around his. Her smile quickly faded, though, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously when they landed on Ellie. “Uhmmm…hello…”

“Hi,” Ellie smiled from between clenched teeth.

“Ellie, this is uh…this is…” Jacob stammered, much to his date’s annoyance. The blonde girl glared up at him and then pushed her perfectly manicured hand out towards Ellie.

_Was this really Jacob’s type??_

“I’m Nicole, Jacob’s girlfriend. Who are you?” The girl’s voice was icy, and Ellie inwardly rolled her eyes at this immature child before her. It was apparent the little idiot had been drinking as she wobbled on her too-high heels. She shook the girl’s hand briefly, and mentally congratulated herself on not whipping the girls’ skinny, little ass right here in front of God and everyone. She was really in no mood for childish games right now!

“I’m a friend of Jacob’s sister. Nice to meet you, Nicole,” Ellie forced a smile again. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home.”

She pushed her way around the two of them, and scurried off down the sidewalk as fast as her legs would carry her. She turned the corner for the last time and headed down her street, leaving the noise and chaos behind her.

“Ellie!” Jacob's loud voice called to her, halting her in her tracks.

“Oh god,” Ellie mumbled to herself, her heart beginning to pound in her chest. She stopped on the sidewalk but did not turn around. Jacob caught up to her quickly.

“What do you want, Jacob?” she asked quietly. She stared off towards the direction of her apartment, not daring to look up at him.

“I just want to talk,” Jacob offered, and Ellie snorted.

“Where’s your little plaything?” Ellie, unable to help herself, turned to glare up at him. She didn’t realize how close he was, and she had to step back.

“She’s at the bar still.”

“Is she even old enough to drink, Jacob?” Ellie derisively asked him.

“Yes,” Jacob chuckled as he shifted nervously before her, hands shoved in pockets. “So you live down here now?”

“Yes.”

“You work here, too, then?” Jacob asked, and Ellie sighed in annoyance.

“Really, Jacob, I’d like to get home, okay? I’ve had a long day, and I’m tired, and-”

“I missed you, Ellie,” Jacob interrupted her, his almost-intimate timber of his voice shocking her into silence. Ellie blinked up at him,  and she saw as his face was illuminated by the moon and street lights.

“Wha..what?” Ellie stammered out, clearly not believing her ears. Jacob nodded down at her, that lop-sided smile in place yet again. Oh how she had missed that….

“I wondered about you for the longest, girl,” Jacob admitted softly. He reached out and pushed her hair back behind her ear, a gentle smile in place. “How you been doin’?”

“Fine.” Ellie’s voice was little more than a squeak, and Jacob laughed a bit this time.

“Just fine, then?” Jacob moved closer…so close that Ellie had to lean back on her heels to stare up at him.

She could smell his cologne as it mingled with the smell of beer and cigarette smoke, and that distinctive scent that was only Jacob LeBlanc. God, it was still just as heady as ever, and she had to mentally remind herself that he had a Barbie-doll girlfriend waiting for him right around the corner. As that realization sank in, Ellie stepped back, her jaw tense as she stared up at him.

“Go back to your girlfriend, Jacob.” Ellie stated flatly.

“She ain’t my girlfriend, Ellie,” Jacob argued gently.

“Oh really? I don’t think she knows that,” Ellie retorted. She heard the click of heels on the concrete sidewalk, and she peered around Jacob. “Here she comes now. Maybe the two of you should figure out your relationship status? Have Nicole update it on Facebook, even.”

Jacob’s smile faded, and he looked down at Ellie in annoyance. Ellie stubbornly glared back up at him.

“Jake! Jacob Andrew!” Nicole practically screeched as she stumbled up to the pair. It was more than apparent now that the girl had been drinking, and it seemed she had developed some liquid courage along the way, her eyes narrowing again as she sized up Ellie.

“Why are you following my boyfriend?” Nicole slurred out as she stepped forward towards Ellie, one long, manicured finger pointed in Ellie’s face. Ellie laughed, and it only infuriated the girl more.

“Do something with this girl, Jacob,” Ellie warned him as she cut her eyes towards him.

“Nicky, come on, okay?” Jacob pulled the girl back to him, struggling as the younger woman flailed about.

Disgusted, Ellie turned and walked the rest of the way to her apartment. Not bothering to look back, she turned the key and headed inside, locking the door behind her. Alone in the dark, she leaned up against the door, her heart beating in her chest as she tried to calm herself down. She was not expecting to see Jacob, and certainly not with a girl. She could admit it stung a little, and that sour taste was still in her mouth when she thought about that girl hanging on Jacob’s arm.   Sighing, she pushed off the door and headed down the hall to her bedroom and flopped on her bed. Beaux, her Doberman, had silently followed her and jumped up on the bed next to her, his wet nose offering solace in the only way he knew how. Ellie scratched him behind his ears, earning a low growl of appreciation.

“You’re the only man I need, huh, Beaux?” Ellie asked as she pulled the dog into her side. He rolled over onto his back, and Ellie chuckled as she scratched his stomach. At nearly 80lbs, he still thought he was a lapdog. With one last scratch, Ellie rolled off the bed and flipped on lights as she made her way to the bathroom. Beaux followed behind her, his nails clicking on the floor as he followed his owner. Ellie was too exhausted for a shower, and only changed into comfortable clothes. When she was done brushing her teeth, she crawled into bed, and Beaux hopped up next to her. She flipped on the television, finding the local news station, and set the volume down low as she tried to get some sleep.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

The following day, Ellie was shocked to find Jacob at the salon.  He had let the tailgate down on his truck, and was sitting on it, legs swinging back and forth as he played with his cell phone.  When he saw Ellie approaching, he quickly jumped off and waited for her at the door.  She crossed the street, all the while trying to calm herself down at the sight of him. He was wearing those damn jeans that hugged his hips, a tee-shirt, and a flannel over that, and his customary ball cap and boots. She glanced over again at his big-ass, black truck parked nearby, and with his stubble in place, he was almost too much for her to take. Holy shit, but he was sexy! He smiled as she walked up to him, and Ellie wondered how the hell did he know where she worked? She had a pretty good idea of how he might have found out…

“Mornin’, Ellie,” Jacob greeted her cheerfully.

Ellie ignored him as she placed her key in the door and opened it and stepped inside. Of course the big bastard followed behind her.

“Nice place you got here, Ellie,” Jacob remarked as he took in the salon. Ellie continued pretending as if he weren't there as she placed her purse back behind the desk and pulled out her appointment book. She had just flipped the page when Jacob pulled the book out of her hand.  Shocked, she glared up at him.

“Why are you ignoring me?” Jacob asked softly, his brown eyes curious as he stared down at her, and Ellie watched in disbelief as he came around the desk and stood before her. Not knowing what else to do, she shrugged helplessly up at him.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Ellie whispered, trying desperately to regain some measure of control over the current situation.

“I told you, she ain’t my girlfriend,” Jacob murmured.

“Then what were you doing with her?” Ellie asked him, her tone accusatory.

“Hangin’ out.”

“You hang out with teenagers now?” Ellie snorted derisively, and Jacob arched an eyebrow as he rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully.

“Well, last time I tried to hang out with a woman, she ran out on me.”

Ellie swallowed hard, her cheeks instantly heating at the reminder of what she’d done to him. She looked down at her feet, embarrassment and shame washing over her at her actions.

“I’m sorry, Jacob,” she whispered to his feet.

“Don’t be.” Jacob gently tilted her chin up with his fingers, and Ellie was relieved to see he had a kind smile on his face.

“I can explain,” Ellie whispered.

“You don’t need to,” Jacob murmured, and Ellie closed her eyes as he leaned forward and kissed her. Both groaned at the contact, and Ellie clutched at Jacob’s shirt as she clung to him. It was just as she remembered, his lips warm against hers, insistent and gentle – all at the same time.  Jacob cupped her cheeks with his large hands as he pulled her closer to him, and Ellie whimpered as her chest crashed into his.

“Uhm…..” Denise’s voice interrupted them, and Ellie pulled back from Jacob.  Denise was trying not to, but Ellie could see the young girl was fighting back laughter at having found her boss in such a state. “Should I go and find something to do…or….”

“No!” Ellie waved her off. “It’s fine. This is my….my uh…friend, Jacob, and he was just leaving.”

“I was?” Jacob asked, a cocky grin on his face that had Ellie glaring at him again through narrowed eyes.

“You were, yes,” she shoved at him, forcing him towards the front of the salon.

Thankfully Denise had the wherewithal to realize she needed to find something to do in the back, and she disappeared around the corner and headed to the back of the salon. Ellie continued ushering Jacob towards the exit, her hands against his strong back as she pushed him forward. When they were finally at the front door, Jacob turned and pulled Ellie into his arms.  She pushed against him, but Jacob held her firmly against his chest. Realizing he wasn’t going to let her go, she stopped struggling and dropped her head at the center of his chest in defeat.

“Quit fightin’ me, girl,” he whispered against her hair. He rubbed her back soothingly and kissed her on top of her head as he held her to him.

“Go out with me, Ellie,” Jacob’s deep voice rumbled against her cheek. “Let’s start over, yeah?”

“Jacob…I-”

“What time do you get off work?” Jacob interrupted her, and Ellie looked up at him. Again, he was smiling down at her, and somewhere deep inside, she felt a little stirring of hope. She’d gotten better personally, but mending things with Jacob had never even been a possibility in her mind before today.

“Today?  At 4.”

“I’ll come get you at 6, then?” Jacob asked, but Ellie knew it wasn’t really a question. She couldn’t fight her happiness any longer, and she nodded up at him, a hesitant grin in place.

“If you want to.” She had to at least pretend that she wasn’t completely desperate for him!

“I want you,” Jacob murmured huskily, and his voice sent shivers over her body as he stared down at her.  His hahs came up to rest against her cheek, and had to remind herself to breathe. 

Goosebumps broke out across her skin as he lightly traced her bottom lip with his rough pad of his thumb. God, how she had missed that too! They were still standing there, completely wrapped up in each other when the door opened and a customer walked in. This time, Ellie pulled away from Jacob and composed herself a little better. Thankfully, he did the same, clearing his throat as he adjusted his hat.

“Okay, so I’ll see you later, then?” Ellie asked him, and he winked at her.

Damn him and that damn, cocky wink. 

He excused himself for having caused any inconvenience to the customer, and headed out to his truck.  Ellie did much the same - apologized for the delay and told the woman she'd be right with her.  She needed to catch Jacob before he left, and she rushed out the door as fast as she could. 

“Wait! Don’t you need my address?”  Ellie called from the door.

Jacob turned back to her, that cocky grin in place again as he stood on the step-bar and peered at her over the hood of his truck.

“I got it already," he called, giving her a thumbs up as he sat behind the wheel and shut the door.

He didn't wait for a response from Ellie, and she watched as he pulled away,  smiling at her through his windshield.

She was used to being in charge, and with Jacob, she never felt that she was. The odd thing was that she didn't feel like he was in charge, either, or that he was trying to be.  He unnerved her like no one else, and she couldn't make heads or tails of it.  It was a feeling of vulnerability - of not being in control - and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that.

 


	16. Chapter 16

6pm came all too fast, and Ellie was still messing around with her hair when the doorbell rang. Beaux started barking like a maniac, and Ellie rushed to the front door to grab him by his collar.

“Just a minute!” she called as she ushered the dog into the spare bedroom;  he could meet Jacob later. Giving him a firm warning to "be quiet," she closed the door to the spare room and headed back over to the front door.

When she opened the door, Jacob was there, flowers in hand, and looking as ridiculously good-looking as he always did. She was at a loss for words, and she had no idea how long she stood there looking like an idiot.  He'd changed his clothes - was still wearing those jeans that he usually did and had his ball cap on - but his tee-shirt was gone, and he now had on a long-sleeved, button up shirt.  It was cuffed and rolled up at his forearms, and the first few buttons were undone at his chest. 

“Hello,” Jacob chuckled as he offered her the flowers.  “Can I come in?”

“Oh yes!” Ellie squeaked out as she opened the door wider.  She took the flowers from Jacob as she closed the door behind him. She silently followed along behind him as he walked into her living room, an appreciative look on his face as he surveyed the room.

“Nice place, Ellie,” he turned back to her with a smile. She was still standing there, watching him like an idiot, and Jacob chuckled again. As he turned, though, and fully saw her face, his smile faded. “You alright?”

“No,” Ellie admitted quietly. She wasn’t alright, and she’d sworn she wasn’t going to lie and pretend any longer – least of all with Jacob. He stepped forward, concerned.

“What can I do to help, Ellie?”

“Can we sit please? Talk a little before this goes any further?” Ellie asked him hesitantly.  Jacob nodded and followed her to the couch. He sat down at one end, while Ellie sat at the other, and she gently laid the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table in front of her.

“So, I’m guessing Lennie told you where I worked and all that?” Ellie began.

“After a little persuasion on my part, yes,” Jacob admitted ruefully. He made himself a little more comfortable on the couch, his legs spread wide in that way that men tended to sit, and Ellie had to force herself to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Did she tell you anything else?”

“About you? Nope,” Jacob replied. “Why?”

“Because there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Ellie stated quietly. She fidgeted with her hands, unable to meet Jacob’s eyes. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as his eyes met hers.

“There’s stuff you don’t know about me, either, Ellie.”

Ellie’s head jerked up at that statement.  “Like what? Wives? Kids?”

Jacob held his hands up, palms toward her to slow her down. “Nothing like that. Business stuff, but nothing really personal.”

“Nicole didn’t update your Facebook status?” Ellie quipped, but immediately regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth. She glanced at Jacob out of the corner of her eye, and she was relieved to see he wasn’t angry with her.

“No Facebook status updates here,” he grinned back at her.

“She said she was your girlfriend,” Ellie accused quietly.

“She’s a girl, and she was my friend, but she’s not a girlfriend like you’re thinkin’.” Jacob rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he stared at Ellie.  “You really think that’s my type?”

Ellie shrugged helplessly. She had not intended to have this conversation, so she really had no idea what she thought about any of this stuff.

“I don’t know what your type is,” she mumbled under breath, her eyes once again fixed on her fingers as they nervously twisted around each other.

“I think ya’ do, Ellie,” Jacob countered gently.  “At least I hope you do.”

Ellie looked up at him again, and then back down at her lap where her fingers were still twisting the fabric of her blouse.

“Hey?” Jacob patted her knee gently. “Ellie? Let’s just go out, okay?  Go out and have some fun and not worry about all this heavy stuff right now. What ya’ think?”

Ellie let out a shaky breath of relief.

“I think I’d like that very much.” She looked up at him and smiled, happy to be let off the hook for at least the time being.

“There’s my girl,” Jacob grinned back, unnerving her yet again.  

He stood and held out his hand for her to take, and Ellie did so gratefully.  It was nice to hold someone’s hand, and right now that was exactly what she needed. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed her hand as they left her house.  Jacob led them outside, and in his customary fashion, helped her up into his truck and closed the door behind her.  She noticed that he  was still grinning when he crawled up in the driver’s seat and put the keys in the ignition. The truck roared to life.

“Where are we going?” Ellie asked shyly, as Jacob buckled himself in and started the truck.

“It’s a surprise, okay?” He placed his hand on her headrest as he backed the truck out, and Ellie smiled again, a little happy smile of contentment.  She really didn’t care where they were going, as long as she was going with Jacob.  Once they were out on the main road, Jacob turned to look at her again.

“Let’s try this again, okay?” His grin was still in place, accompanied by a wink. Ellie stared back at him in confusion, not quite understanding what was going on.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She might have some idea, but she didn't want to speculate on anything. 

"Good. Just sit back and relax, yeah?"  Jacob cut his eyes at her, but Ellie could see he had that lop-sided smile in place.   She just now noticed how he had the beginnings of dimples on his cheeks when he smiled, and she adored that mischievous look in his brown eyes.  He was not only sexy, but he was just so cute when he was being playful!

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kinda bossy?"  Ellie teased playfully as she settled back against the seat.

"Yeah, Lennie tells me all the time." Jacob laughed, and Ellie did as well when she imagined the conversations between Jacob and her friend. Lennie was quite formidable when she wanted to be, as well.  _To be a fly on the wall when Jacob and Lennie got into it!_ Ellie chuckled to herself at the thought...

Jacob laid his right hand out on the console between them, palm up.  With a shy smile, Ellie placed her hand in his, and her heart sped up as he interlaced his fingers with hers.  He brought their joined hands up kissed the back of her hand softly, and then wordlessly laid them back down on the console as he maneuvered the truck down the road.  Ellie sat in shock, not speaking as she knew she wouldn't be able to find words that would remotely make sense.  This was the same man who hunted alligators for a living, and now he was bringing her flowers and kissing the back of her hand. She stared forward, looking out the window as she tried to calm herself down, and she really hoped her palm wasn't sweating as she held Jacob's hand.  She was so damn nervous, and she wondered if Jacob felt the same -  even just a little?  He was so composed, so sure of himself, while she had never been more unsure of anything in her life.  She needed to talk to him, to explain everything before they went any further.  He needed to hear her story, and then decide if she was someone he wanted to be involved with. 

"Is it that bad?" Jacob's voice called to her, and she turned to him.  He took his eyes off the road just briefly as he glanced at her.  "You got a big ole' crease between your eyes. What you thinkin' about?"

Ellie shrugged dismissively,  and Jacob squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

"Can we save it til later?" Jacob asked her gently.  "Let's get to where we're goin', and then you decide what you wanna do.  I just want you to enjoy yourself, Ellie.  If we get there, and you wanna talk all night, I'm fine with that.  If you don't wanna talk, I'm fine with that, too."

Ellie looked at him and then looked away.  She was on the verge of tears, and she didn't want him to see that.  Not yet, anyway. 

"Ellie?"  Jacob peered over at her.

"Thanks for being so nice to me, Jacob," Ellie whispered.  Her mouth was strained as the tried to smile at him.  "Thanks for today, and taking me out."

Jacob brought their hands up and kissed the back of hers again.  "It's my pleasure, baby." 

Ellie took a deep breath and sat back against the seat, her mind churning with thoughts.  She waffled between being nervous, then happy, and then incredibly sad.  Jacob was still pretty much everything she thought she would want in a man, and here she was again, faced with the very real possibility of losing him when he found out the truth.  Her immediate thought was to bail, to put distance between him and her.  She literally spent the rest of the ride mentally talking herself down off the ledge, telling herself it did no good to run.   What would that accomplish?  Eventually she'd run into him again, all the feelings would get stirred up, and it would all start over.  Besides, Jacob didn't deserve to be treated that way.    She'd sworn to be honest, and she'd been doing that ever since that day in the hospital four months ago.  Even if she lost Jacob over this - if he absolutely couldn't handle the real Ellie - she knew she had to remain true to herself. 

She loved herself too much now to settle for anything less.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

By the time Jacob turned the truck down Toulouse Street, Ellie already knew where they were going. She looked over at Jacob and smiled, a shy smile, but one of happiness. Now she knew what he meant by “trying it again.” He turned the truck down on Decatur, and pulled into a parking lot. He was taking her on the Steamboat Natchez again. He backed the truck up into an empty spot, put it in park, and looked over at Ellie.

“You figured it out?” He leaned back against his door and smiled at her.

“As soon as we turned down Toulouse, I started thinking that maybe we were going on the boat again,” Ellie admitted softly. “Thank you.”

Jacob leaned over and reached for her hand, and Ellie offered it to him.  He took it, and pressed the back of her hand against his lips.

“We gotta get out of this truck.” His voice was barely above a whisper as his lips moved against her skin. Ellie could see how dark his brown eyes seemed to have gotten in a matter of seconds, and her breath caught at his veiled warning.  She nodded at him in agreement, and Jacob dropped her hand and opened his door, and she waited as he came around and opened hers, and helped her out.  When she was out, Jacob closed the door behind her, and immediately pulled her into his chest for a hug.

“I just wanna hug you…nothing more,” Jacob murmured against her hair as he held her to him.  Ellie happily wrapped her arms around his waist, and Jacob seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at her acceptance of his touch. He leaned back, and cupped her cheeks with his hands as he stared down at her with a smile.

“I said nothing more, but damn if I don’t wanna kiss you right now,” Jacob admitted. Ellie reached up and placed her hands on his forearms, standing up on her tip-toes to make her taller.

“I wouldn’t mind,” she whispered up at him, and she tilted her chin up towards him. 

Without a grin,  Jacob leaned down and kissed her softly, his lips just barely grazing hers.  When he pulled back, Ellie was left longing, and she very nearly let out a whine of protest. Seeing the look on her face, Jacob grinned and tapped her on the tip of her nose playfully.

"We’re gonna do this right this time, okay?” He reached down and grabbed her hand in his, again interlacing his fingers with hers. “We need to hurry or we’re gonna get left behind.”

“Okay, but you owe me, LeBlanc!” Ellie grouched as she followed along beside him.  Jacob laughed out loud, and released her hand to instead wrap his arm around her shoulder. He kissed her on her temple as he pulled her into his side.

“Yes, ma’am.” He laughed again, and the two of them headed onto the boat.

This time, Jacob had made reservations, and they actually had dinner while a jazz band played on the deck. After they finished eating, Jacob asked Ellie if she wanted to take a walk around the boat, and she agreed. They ended up back where they were the first time, leaning up against the railing as they watched the water and the lights of the city pass them by. Ellie wrapped her fingers around the rail and closed her eyes, loving the smell of the water, and the breeze in her hair.

“You’re more beautiful this time than last time,” Jacob spoke, and Ellie opened her eyes to see him staring at her.  Embarrassed, she smiled and looked away. It was still just very hard for her to accept praise, even when she wanted to.

“You’re crazy,” she deflected, not knowing how to react in the face of those kinds of compliments. 

Jacob nodded in agreement. “About you, yes.”

Ellie snorted and looked back out over the water, ignoring Jacob’s last statement.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” Ellie turned to look back at him curiously.  He was leaning over the railing, propped up on his forearms as he stared over at her.

“Act like it’s impossible for me to feel the way I say I do.” Jacob’s voice was even, serious now, and Ellie didn’t disagree or redirect this time. This time she just shrugged, and turned her gaze back out over the water.  The waves churned in the boat’s wake, and she could feel the misty spray as it hit her skin.

“It’s easier that way, I guess.” Ellie’s voice was flat, and she did her best to keep the disdain from it. She’d come too far to start hating on herself again, but it was so hard to not fall right back into that pattern again.  Jacob stood up and moved to stand behind her, and Ellie held her breath as he wrapped his arms around her. He crossed them over her chest, and his nose was buried in the exposed skin at the back of her neck. Ellie brought her hands up and rested them on his as they held her shoulders. She dropped her head back against his shoulder with a sigh, and Jacob tightened his arms around her.

“Tell me about your new job.” His voice was a deep whisper at her ear, and Ellie shivered at the feeling of his lips so close. He was so big and warm and she felt so very protected when he was wrapped around her.  She never wanted to move from this spot.  It felt so good to be here. 

She was also immensely grateful for the shift in conversation – at least for the moment.

Over the next half hour or so, they would talk about work and occasional family stuff, but nothing heavy. When the boat finally docked, Jacob led her off and back to the truck. Once she was situated, he climbed back in behind the driver’s side and started the truck up.

“Where to now?” Jacob asked her with a lop-sided smile.

“I thought you planned this all out,” Ellie teased.  She was trying to cover her nervousness with a joke, but it sounded fake even to her ears.

“I don’t wanna assume anything.”

“We can go back to my place….” Ellie trailed off, and she could feel her cheeks heat as the words left her mouth.

“You sure? I can drop you at your house if you want,” Jacob offered. Ever the gentleman, he was.

“I’d like you to come over for a little while,” Ellie whispered nervously.

Jacob shifted the truck into gear.  "Good, 'cause I was hoping you'd say that."

* * *

 

When they arrived at her place, Jacob followed her up to her door and inside.  They both removed their coats and hung them up, and kicked off their shoes, and stood awkwardly in the foyer, staring at each other.  Luckily, Beaux was whining in his kennel, and it gave Ellie a reason to leave the room.  She put him out back for a while, and she and Jacob stared at him through the window.

"How old is he?"

"Beaux?  He's 5 years old.  He's a rescue.  Got him from the pound after Katrina."  Ellie replied.  The whole room was tense, and she was sure Jacob could feel it as much as she could. She glanced over at him, and he seemed to be smirking back at her. 

"What?" her voice had an annoyed tone to it now, and Jacob's smirk turned into a full-on grin.

"It's just kinda funny," he motioned between them with his hand, "all this nervousness."

"I'm not nervous," Ellie huffed out quickly, but cut her eyes at Jacob. "Are _you_ nervous?"

"A little," he nodded easily.  "But don't know why.  There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

Ellie let out the breath she'd been holding, and she brought her hand up to her neck as she stared at him.  She watched warily as he closed the distance between them and pulled her hand down from where she was practically clutching her neck. 

"I think you should put the dog up," he murmured against her hand.  He had this way of running his lips along the back of her hand and then along her wrist, and it drove her absolutely insane.  She was practically panting already, just from him kissing her hand.  He stared at her over the top of her hand, his eyes questioning her.

"The dog...okay..." she mumbled, her words breathy as she spoke. 

"I'm gonna grab some water if you don't mind?" He dropped her hand.

"In the kitchen. Make yourself at home," Ellie breathed out again.  Jacob winked at her - _asshole!_ \- and turned away and headed into her kitchen, leaving her to deal with Beaux alone. She quickly brought him back inside and put him in the guest room, ensuring that he was safely secure in his kennel.

"Just for tonight, baby," she apologized to the dog as he stared up at her with a sulky look.  He was not used to being locked up at night, and it didn't sit well with him. Ellie patted his head gently and told him to lay down, and he did so.  She turned on the television in the room for noise, and closed the door behind her.  Walking back through her house, she found Jacob in the living room, staring at pictures along the wall.  He looked over at her as she stood next to him, and she could see the pain in his face. 

He was staring at a family portrait Lennie had given her.  It had Lennie, her mother, her brother, and their father, Leon, Sr. 

"I'm sorry, Jacob," Ellie whispered softly.  She placed her hand on his forearm consolingly, and she could see the way his lips flattened with tension.

"It's okay." His voice was gruff, and Ellie felt so sad for him. 

They all had such horrible circumstances, but Leon, Sr., was a good man, and Ellie had always been very fond of him.  Lennie and Jacob were so lucky to have had a man like that in their life, so unlike the asshole she was forced to call her father.  Pushing those thoughts aside, she peered around Jacob and cupped his cheek, turning his face to her.  She could still see the pain in his beautiful brown eyes as he looked down at her.

"Kiss me," she whispered, shocking even herself. 

Jacob's nostrils flared imperceptibly, and Ellie gently pulled him away from the photo.  His hand in hers, she pulled him down the hall and into her bedroom.  Just as she closed the door and turned back around to face Jacob, he was there, pulling her into his arms.  His mouth found hers, and she knew she was lost. 

There was no turning back.

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Jacob groaned into her mouth as he pushed her back towards the bed.  When they reached it, he turned and sat down, and pulled her down in his lap. He kissed her one more time and released her to look into her eyes.

“Is this what you want?” His voice was husky, deep with desire.

“I want you,” Ellie murmured as she leaned down to capture his lips again.  She felt Jacob’s hands slide under her shirt, felt his fingers searching for the clasp that held her bra together. When he found it, he quickly undid it, and Ellie helped him remove her shirt and then her undone bra. She sat on his lap, topless and nervous as hell, but when Jacob’s hand came up to cup one breast, she dropped her head back, and a moan slipped out of her lips.

“You’re so damn hot, Ellie,” Jacob murmured as he situated her so that she was straddling him. He then placed an arm at her back, and when his mouth found her nipple, Ellie arched back over his strong forearm, pushing her breasts towards him. Her hands came up, and she tangled her fingers in his hair as she held him to her. Jacob’s mouth was hot against her feverish skin, and she could feel herself getting wetter by the second. She squirmed restlessly on his lap, and Jacob slid his hand down to her ass and pulled her to him. God, she could feel his hardness through both their jeans!

“Jacob,” his name was barely more than a whisper, a pleading whine as she wriggled against him restlessly.  Jacob pulled her to him, both hands at her bare back, and kissed along her chest just for a moment before he stood. He lifted her, and placed her on her back on the bed, and she watched from under hooded eyes as he pulled his shirt off.  He reached down and undid the zipper on his jeans, his eyes never leaving Ellie’s, and her breath hitched as she watched him lower his jeans and kick them off. After, he undid her jeans as well, and pulled them off her, leaving her only in her panties, and crawled over her. He was propped up on his hands as he stared down at her.

“We’re gonna do this the right way this time.” He lowered himself against her, his chest flattening her breasts as he settled on top of her. Ellie instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and she couldn’t resist reaching up to kiss him on his chin as her legs wrapped around his slim waist.

“I just want to stay like this forever,” she whispered against his jaw as she nipped at him, causing Jacob to groan against her neck.

Jacob was tormenting her, his mouth moving along her jaw and down along her neck. His stubble was both tickling and rubbing her raw – all at the same time – but lord was she in heaven! The feeling of her breasts pressed against his hard chest, the smell of his cologne, the warmth of his body – it was all spinning her off in different directions, and she was finding it hard to maintain her equilibrium. This was what it felt like to take your time, to make love to someone, and she was overwhelmed by the sensations she was experiencing.  Jacob moved along her neck, occasionally sucking in areas, and biting in others, and each time, Ellie felt another wave of goosebumps break out on her skin. He dragged himself down her body, and her already sensitive nipples got even harder at the friction of his chest against hers. Her hands traveled up his shoulders and grasped at his head as his mouth found her breast again, and this time he fully took her in, sucking on her taut nipple as his hand kneaded and squeezed her. He spent a few moments before switching to the other side, and giving it just as much attention. Ellie was very nearly on the edge of an orgasm just from that, and her legs trembled at his sides as she rolled her hips against him. Jacob, sensing her need, slid back up her body and kissed her again.

“I got condoms this time,” he grinned down at her. 

Ellie had to stop herself from reacting, wanting to tell him she couldn’t get pregnant anyway, but she held it inside. She would not ruin this moment with all that other stuff; it could wait for later.

“Hurry up,” she urged him playfully, trying to keep the mood from slipping away with her thoughts. 

Jacob slid off her, and Ellie lay back, her arm thrown over her eyes to block her view. She couldn’t watch him put a condom on, and she didn’t know why. She just couldn’t do it. She startled when she felt the bed sink again as he climbed back on, and she waited, her breath held, as she felt him pull her panties off. She felt him push her knees apart, and she swallowed hard, waiting in anticipation.  When he didn’t immediately climb on top, she opened her eyes and stared up at him.  He was there, between her legs, and just staring at her. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up, his eyes meeting hers.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured huskily as he leaned down and crawled over her. He settled between her legs again, and this time she could feel his erection at her thigh.

“I couldn’t stop looking at you,” he groaned against her lips as she sought his out. She cupped his cheeks and held him to her as she pulled on his lower lip, wordlessly begging for more.  Jacob obliged her, kissing her long and slow, his tongue insistent as it explored her mouth. Ellie rolled her hips against him again, and Jacob closed his eyes as he struggled to control his body. She was so wet, and both could feel it spreading over them as she wantonly rubbed herself against him.

“Make love to me, Jacob,” Ellie panted in his ear, her teeth nipping at the outer edge. “Please…”

Jacob brought one hand down and positioned himself at her entrance, and slowly sank in.  Both breathed out a sigh of almost-relief as their bodies joined together after so long. When Jacob was finally seated fully, he reached down and grabbed Ellie’s leg and pulled it over his hip.  He gripped below her knee, holding her to him as he started to move inside her.

“Hmmm….Jacob….” Ellie moaned against his cheek as she held him to her. Her eyes searched his brown ones, pleading with him. “Please don’t be gentle with me this time.”

“Like this?” Jacob thrust into her, punctuating each breath with another thrust.  Ellie matched him, her breath leaving her in a soft grunt each time he slammed into her.

His free hand wrapped itself in Ellie’s hair, and he tilted her head back so that he could kiss her. His lips were bruising against hers, so forceful was he kissing her as he continued thrusting, over and over again. Ellie could feel herself sinking, and her fingernails clawed into his back as the exquisite agony of her climax washed over her.  She moved her face from Jacob’s and buried her face in his neck, her voice strained as she cried out his name.  Feeling her body convulse around him, Jacob began to thrust harder, his hips slamming against her as he fought for his release. With a guttural cry of his own, he drove himself home, spilling himself inside her as he grunted at her neck. Ellie held him to her, relishing the feeling of him still pulsing inside her as his body spent itself completely. A few minutes later, Jacob stopped moving, and Ellie giggled at the feeling of his sweaty head pressed against her cheek.

“That was quite a workout, huh?” she giggled again. 

Jacob laughed against her chest, his breath still hot against her skin.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready for round two,” he murmured, his voice confident even if his body was not quite there yet. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, if he were to be perfectly honest.  Knowing he was about to fall asleep, he pushed himself up on his forearms and looked down at Ellie with a sated smile.

“What?” Ellie grinned up at him as she softly stroked his bearded cheek.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” he confided, but she could hear the _"but"_ in his statement.

“But you’re afraid I’m gonna leave again?” Ellie finished quietly, and Jacob nodded, confirming her conclusion. She gripped his chin with her fingers and smiled up at him, all the while mentally forcing herself to stay present and not let her fears overtake her.

“I’m not going anywhere. No more running,” she assured him, even though she wasn’t sure of that herself.

“Okay,” Jacob leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, a sweet kiss that took Ellie’s breath away even after they’d made love so passionately. “I’m going to the bathroom. Maybe take a shower.” He pulled out of her and crawled off the bed.

Ellie wrapped herself in the sheet, covering her body as Jacob headed to the bathroom. A few moments later she heard the toilet flush, and Jacob’s head peered around the bathroom door at her, and he crooked a finger at her.

“I think you should come join me,” he grinned at her shyly.  Ellie sat up, clutching the blanket against her chest as she nibbled on her lower lip in indecision. “Please?”

Okay, that did her in, and she crawled off the bed.  Jacob asking her to _please join him_ in the shower was simply too hard to resist. She dragged the sheet along with her, and scooted past him and over to the shower;  he had already turned the water on, and the bathroom was nice and steamy. With a backwards glance at him, she dropped the sheet and stepped in the shower, sighing as the warm water washed over her. A few seconds later, she felt Jacob’s hands wrap around her waist and pull her back into his chest.

"You need a hand?" he murmured against her ear as his hands roamed over her breasts and abdomen.

"Hmm..." Ellie moaned against him. "Two hands would be better..."

"Yes, ma'am," Jacob grinned against her neck as his hands continued their journey over her body. Ellie dropped her head back against his chest, her fingers gripping his thighs tightly.

If she wanted two hands, he'd give her that, and then some....

 

* * *

 

 

They were holding hands, lying in bed, and facing each other. Neither had bothered getting dressed, and there was something beautifully intimate about the way they were with each other now. Without speaking, they were communicating, and Ellie felt that damn lump in her throat again as she stared across the few inches separating them, and over at Jacob.

“What you thinking right now?” he murmured softly. His hand slid up her arm and pushed her hair back off her cheek and over her ear. His thumb rubbed along her jaw softly.

“I’m not really thinking about anything. I’m just very happy. You?”

“I’m pretty happy myself,” he replied. “I hope this is not too weird, so I’m just gonna say it.  I really like you. I’ve always liked you, but I had financial issues, and the time wasn’t right, and I didn’t wanna drag you into my mess.”

“You really like me?” Ellie teased playfully. She reached over and traced along his jaw line with her fingertip. “So what does that mean?”

“It means I want you, Ellie. If you’ll have me, I want you.” Jacob nodded solemnly, and Ellie felt tears prick at her eyes at his admission. She still hadn’t told him anything about her past, and she was worried that it was going to ruin everything.

“Can you say somethin’, baby?” Jacob’s voice had grown tense in her silence.

“I like you, too, Jacob.” She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her forehead resting against his. They stared into each others' eyes for a moment.

“So you like me enough to be my girlfriend?” Jacob kissed her on the tip of her nose, and Ellie nuzzled him back. She took in a deep breath as she prepared herself for the answer.

“I need to talk to you, Jacob. Let me get everything out, and then you decide if you still want me that much.” Her voice hitched towards the end, and her chin trembled as she tried to control the tears that were threatening to fall.

“I will,” Jacob declared easily. “Whatever it is, I don’t care. I think I’m fallin’ in love with you, Ellie. I think I’ve been since the day we met.”

Ellie couldn’t fight the tears that time, and she wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her face against his neck as she cried.  Jacob didn’t ask questions and he didn’t demand answers – he just held her to him and let her cry.  When the crying had subsided, they found each other again, and again they made love.  Later on, when Ellie was again wrapped up firmly in Jacob’s arms, she lay there listening to him lightly snore in her ear, all the while thinking about how happy she was.  She ran her fingers along his forearm where it rested across her breasts, and she smiled to herself. 

She was falling in love with him, too.


	19. Chapter 19

[So you don't have to love me anymore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVGm93II-UA)

Totally made myself cry :-(

So y'all all need to cry with me!

 

 

 _**If you need me to make you cry,** _  
_**I don’t want to but I’ll try,** _  
_**So you don’t have to love me anymore.** _

 

 

The smell of bacon filled her nostrils, and Ellie woke up with a smile.  She languidly stretched, and she was immediately aware of the soreness in her body that wasn’t normally there. She rubbed her fingers over her lips, and her mind turned back to last night with Jacob. They had made love three times, and even afterwards they had spent quite a long time kissing and cuddling. It was perfect, and she remembered thinking how she never wanted it to end. 

All good, things come to an end, though...

She took a deep breath and rolled off the bed, and headed towards the bathroom.  Her phone read 932am.  She quickly brushed her teeth and hair, and slipped on some clothes before going in search of Jacob. The breath was knocked out of her when she saw him in the kitchen. 

He was shirtless and barefoot, only wearing his jeans, and when he turned slightly, she could see that the top button was still undone.  Holy shit but he was sexy. She leaned against the door frame, hoping to admire him from afar for just a while longer.  She could see all his tattoos now, and she watched as his muscles flexed as he cooked what looked to be eggs and bacon.

“Can you have bacon?” Jacob said, and Ellie peered around, surprised to see Beaux laying at his feet on the other side.  She smiled, happy that her dog was getting along with Jacob as well. Beaux sat up and Ellie saw that he licked his lips in anticipation.  Jacob dropped a piece of bacon in his mouth, and the dog swallowed quickly and looked up, waiting for more.

“You’re feeding my dog bacon?” Ellie asked from the doorway.  Jacob and Beaux both turned to her, and a happy smile appeared on Jacob’s face as he crooked his finger at her. He set the spatula down on the stove top.

“I had to get on his good side,” Jacob murmured as he pulled her into his chest. “Mornin’ beautiful.”

“Good morning, Jacob,” Ellie said softly.  She hugged him around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest, delighting in him simply being here. He hadn’t run away and she hadn’t run away, and now they were in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

“Did you sleep good?” Jacob asked as he reached one arm over her head and turned off the stove.  Still holding her against him, he removed the skillet from the stove and dumped the bacon out on the plate.

“I did. Did you?”

“When I slept, it was great. When I wasn’t asleep, it was even better,” Jacob murmured against her ear.  He had finished cooking and now had both arms wrapped around her again.

“Oh my god,” Ellie giggled into his chest.  She could feel her cheeks heating with embarrassment, and she buried her nose against the middle of his chest.

“Am I embarrassing you?” He gently rubbed his hands up and down her back.

“A little,” Ellie admitted shyly. This was all just so new to her, and she wasn’t entirely sure how to behave.   She didn't usually do "morning-afters."

“Let’s eat, then.” Jacob kissed her on her forehead and released her. He made two plates of food, and carried them both to the table. They both sat down, and Beaux sat patiently at their feet.

“You created a monster,” Ellie teased as she stared down at her dog. Beaux blinked up at her, and looked between her and Jacob, causing them both to laugh. When their laughter subsided, Ellie looked up at Jacob shyly. He was leaned back against his chair, an easy smile on his face as he stared back at her.

“What?” she asked warily. She picked up a piece of bacon and chewed on it, anything to distract her from him.

“Why are you so shy around me this mornin'?” Jacob asked, and Ellie quickly looked up at him before looking away again. “Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s cute as hell, but I’m worried that I did somethin’ wrong.”

“Oh, no! You didn’t do anything wrong!” Ellie rushed out quickly.  Jacob cocked his head to the side and stared at her thoughtfully.

“You sure?”

Ellie nodded emphatically.

“I’m positive. You did nothing wrong.” She stared down at her plate again, pushing her eggs around with her fork.

“Something’s wrong, baby.” Jacob continued gently. “Whatever you wanted to talk about, do you wanna do it now? Will that make you feel better?”

Ellie leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath to steady herself as she thought about what she was about to do. _Would that make her feel better?_ She closed her eyes, taking just a moment to compose herself. When she opened them back up, she looked at Jacob carefully.

“Yes. Before this goes any further, I need to tell you some things.” Her voice was careful, measured even, and she could see the wariness that came over Jacob’s features.  Inwardly she wilted a bit, feeling like he was slipping away already.  She’d not even begun to speak yet about all her issues and he was already pulling back.

“Okay,” Jacob replied calmly. He stood up and nodded at her plate. “You done?”

Ellie nodded, and Jacob picked up both their plates and carried them to the sink.  Ellie walked unenthusiastically to the couch and plopped down, wrapping herself in the blanket she’d dragged off the loveseat. A few moments later, Jacob followed, sitting down next to her. He leaned back against the couch, his legs splayed in what appeared to be relaxed. Ellie, though, could see the tenseness that had set in, and could feel the strain that had set over them in just a matter of moments.

“So…I’m just gonna be honest with you, and start from the beginning and then you decide what you wanna do, okay?” Ellie whispered softly.  She could feel the lump in her throat, and when she inhaled, it was a shaky breath full of fear.  Jacob said nothing, and Ellie didn’t know whether to be encouraged or discouraged; she continued on.

“So, I grew up very wealthy. Daddy was a not only a doctor, but a pastor as well.  We were well known in Lafayette, and still are.  My brother is also a doctor up at Drexell. Mom was a homemaker, all the parties and community things, and all that.” She stared off in the distance as she continued.   “When I was 10, I started getting molested by a cousin. He was older than me, and I eventually got pregnant when he raped me.” Ellie didn’t look up, but she could feel the shift on the couch as Jacob leaned forward, hands on knees to steady himself.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time – I was only a kid you know? – but my mom, well she had me tested. I was pregnant with my cousin’s baby and I was just a kid. Momma and Daddy freaked out, and I went to the doctor. I didn’t know it at the time, but I went through an abortion.  Somehow I'd been convinced to have an abortion, and I didn't even know it at the time.  Momma said I had a disease, and the doctor was going to take it out.  Between that and the STD my cousin gave me, any chance of me having a baby of my own was probably never gonna happen again.” Ellie’s lips screwed up in a mixture of distaste and sadness as she recounted those times in her head.  Jacob still said nothing.

“So, fast forward a few years when I realized what had really happened.  I was angry, and I was pissed, and no one cared.  Not my mom, not my dad especially, and not even my brother. Everyone pretended like it never happened, and it was like this giant secret that we all kept.  No one knew but us.  Nothing ever happened to my cousin, either."  Ellie felt anger wash over her as she thought about that man.   "He actually still lives in Lafayette, and comes to our family get-togethers."  She shook her head, shocked even as she said the words.  It just sounded insane, even to her ears but it was her reality. 

"Anyway, so I started sleeping around as a teenager.  At first, I didn’t realize what I was doing or why I was doing it, because I hated every minute of it. I hated having sex, and I hated being touched, and I just….I just hated it.  It made me feel so bad.” She wiped at a tear that rolled down her cheek as she continued.

“So, it eventually turned into me sleeping with anyone that I could sleep with, and I never used protection. I know now that I was not only punishing myself, but I was trying to get pregnant. At the same time, I remember thinking how much I wouldn’t care if I caught AIDS or something.  I just wanted to be dead.  Each time I would sleep with someone, and not get pregnant, I sunk even lower. So then I would go out, find someone else, and sleep with them, too.”

“How many?” Jacob's strained voice interrupted her.

“I don’t know, Jacob,” she answered honestly. “I really don’t know.”

Jacob was taken aback at her answer, and she watched as he leaned back against the couch and then leaned forward again. This time he swiped a shaky hand over his face, and Ellie smiled ruefully.  She knew that this would probably be his reaction, but she was not even remotely prepared for him walking out on her.

“So…we slept together…Ellie?” He turned to face her, and she could see the fear in his eyes at the realization.

“I was tested after. When I went to the hospital, I told Lennie everything, and I got tested. I’m clean.” She felt so disgusting uttering those words, and she felt the bile rise up in her throat as her self-hatred bubbled up. How disgusted he must be with her.  She could see it clearly written all over his face.

“Did you ever get pregnant?” He looked back down at the ground in front of him as he waited for her answer. 

“No. I don’t think I can. Too much damage had been done.”

“Huh,” Jacob leaned back against the couch, his arm propped up on the arm as he stared towards the door.  Ellie’s heart sank a little lower.

“You can leave, Jacob,” Ellie whispered sadly. “I told you I had issues, and I completely understand if you want to go.”

“I just…I don’t…I don’t know what to say, Ellie,” he admitted as he turned to her.  Ellie’s heart broke anew when she saw the moisture in his eyes. His face was strained with the effort to maintain his grip on his emotions.

“You don’t have to say anything, Jacob.  It’s not your problem,” she whispered again. She no longer trusted her voice, and now tears were rolling freely down her face and throat. She pulled herself into the corner of the couch a little more, wishing she could disappear.

“I’m sorry,” Jacob mumbled brokenly.

“It’s okay, really.” Ellie did her best to reassure him. None of this was his fault, and she didn’t want him leaving and thinking that it was.

“I’m gonna go, okay?” Jacob stood up. “I need some time to think, or…whatever.  I’m just gonna go.”

“Okay,” Ellie choked out again.  She sat in her corner of the couch, huddled under the blanket as Jacob walked back to the bedroom and got dressed.

A few moments later he reappeared, fully dressed.  His sunglasses were on, and his ball cap was pulled down low.  Ellie glanced up at him, but her eyes were so blurry from crying that she could barely see him. His lips were taut, strained with emotion, and she wondered if she'd made him cry.  She couldn't tell.

“I’ll call you, okay?” Jacob offered quietly.

“Sure,” Ellie replied, knowing she would never hear from him again.

He walked over and stiffly kissed her on her forehead, and it took everything in her to not reach up and pull him down to her, to beg his forgiveness for her lies and behavior. But she didn’t, and he didn’t reach for her. He stood up just as stiffly and walked away, leaving her on the couch alone. She heard the door shut, the click as it closed echoing throughout the empty room, and a moment later she heard his truck roar to life. As she heard him pull away from the curb, she finally let out the breath she’d been holding.  For just a moment there she thought he was going to come back, to say that he loved her and it was okay, and that they could figure this out together.

But he didn't come back.  She wiped her face as she shakily stood.  He wasn't coming back, and she needed to get on with it.  She dropped the blanket and headed back to the bedroom, Beaux following close at her heels.  When she saw the bed, still rumpled from the night before, she lost it.  The tears started again, and she felt like she was choking.  Unable to stand, she crawled back in the bed and pulled the covers over her head.  She could still smell him, and she clutched at the pillow he had used, holding it tightly to her chest as she cried herself back to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Ellie didn’t answer her phone for the next two days. She didn’t think Jacob would be calling her, but she expected Lennie to check up on her, and she couldn’t deal with that at the moment. She crossed the street to her salon and stepped inside.  Denise had opened this morning as Ellie had been running late. She closed the door behind her, and hung her coat up, and when she turned around, she was shocked to see Lennie sitting on the small sofa in the waiting area.

“Lennie!” Ellie exclaimed happily, but her smile instantly faded at the look on her friend’s face. “What’s the matter?”

Lennie stood up and walked over to Ellie, and pulled her by her arm and further into the waiting area and closed the door behind them. Denise was with a customer, and this was a conversation they didn’t need to hear apparently.

“God! What?” Ellie grouched as she pulled her arm from Lennie.

“Jacob went to jail.”

Ellie sat down on the couch, her hands over her mouth in shock.

“What?” she whispered. “What do you mean, he went to jail?”

“He went down to Lafayette, found your cousin, and beat the shit out of him.” Lennie dropped down next to her, and both women sat in a stunned silence for a few moments.  After a moment, Ellie turned to look at Lennie suspiciously.

“Wait. How did he know where to find him?”

Lennie dropped her head down, guilt plainly written all over. “I might have accidentally told him,” she whispered without looking up at Ellie.

“What?!” Ellie stood up angrily, but Lennie pulled her back down to the couch.

“Please sit down!” Lennie hissed, just as angry herself. “Sit down and just listen, will you?”

Ellie sat down, moving as far away from Lennie as she could.  She glared at her friend, wondering why she kept getting involved in her business.

“Jacob called me late the other evening.  He sounded fine. We were talking about you, and the conversation turned to…that stuff….and he asked a few questions. I didn’t know what he was going to do, Ellie! I swear!”

Ellie stared at Lennie, anger and sadness - and now shame - warring in her mind.  Obviously Jacob had called his sister fairly soon after leaving her. Now she knew why he’d not called her – he’d been beating up her cousin in Lafayette.  Or maybe he just hated her.  Either way - she wasn't high on his list of people to talk to.  God, her parents probably knew now as well. It was only a matter of time before she got the disapproving phone calls and lectures from them.  She would never hear the end of it, and of course it would be her fault.  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“Ellie?” Lennie leaned over and took her hand gently.

“Yeah?” Ellie whispered brokenly.  She’d been doing so good since Jacob walked out on her, and now here she was, about to lose it again.

“What happened between the two of you?”

“I told him the truth. I told him everything, and he walked out.” Ellie turned to look at Lennie, shrugging her shoulders. “I expected it, but not really, you know?”

“Oh god, El!” Lennie scooted over and pulled Ellie in for a hug. “I didn’t think he would act that way. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Ellie whispered sadly.

“No. It’s not okay, and I’m gonna tell him so when I see him.”  Lennie’s jaw was clenching with anger at her brother’s actions. God, that man could be so damn hard-headed sometimes! The last thing Ellie needed was him walking out on her, too!

“Please don’t, Lennie.” Ellie leaned back to look at her friend. “Please don’t say anything.  Everything’s all messed up now, and he’s in trouble, and I just don’t want it to get worse.”

“He’s out now. That’s what Leon said anyway.”

Ellie sat back against the couch and Lennie slipped her arm off her shoulder.  The two women held hands as they sat in silence, both thinking their own thoughts. Lennie broke the silence again.

“He loves you, Ellie.”

Ellie snorted dismissively.

“He does. I could tell by the way he was talking about you when he called.” Lennie gently rubbed Ellie’s hand as she held it. “I really had no idea he was going to do that, but I think it just goes to show how much he cares about you.”

“He walked out on me, Len.  He was disgusted, I could see it.” Ellie’s voice was filled with disdain, heavily laden with self-hatred as she remembered his reactions to her telling him the truth.

“He was overwhelmed, Ellie. Can you imagine?  Michael would have done the same thing I think, had I told him something similar. It doesn’t make it right, and he’s still an ass for leaving, but I don’t think he wanted to leave.”

“Well he did,” Ellie sniffled out as the tears filled her eyes again.  Damn it! She’d done so well the past two days, and here she was, crying again over him.

“And then he went and beat the shit out of that asshole. Put him in the hospital.” Lennie chuckled to herself as Ellie turned to again look at her in horror.

“Dane’s in the hospital?” Ellie asked, completely stunned. “Oh my god. How bad was it?”

“Leon said his nose was broken, probably his jaw, and he’s not going to be able to see straight for a few weeks.”

“How did Jacob get out?” Ellie asked as she tried to put all the pieces together.  Jacob said he had financial problems, so how would he post bond?

“Leon doesn’t know. Someone bailed him out, and I’m not sure if your cousin will file charges.”

Ellie closed her eyes again. She knew exactly who had probably bailed him out, and that turned her stomach even more.  Of course her father would want to keep this quiet. God forbid anyone find out about their dirty little secret.  She pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to ward off the tension headache that was fast approaching. She had clients today, and she did not need this at all.

“What’s the matter?” Lennie asked, seeing her friend in pain.

“I’d be willing to bet my ass that my father posted his bond. He probably also let my uncle know, and I’m sure Dane won’t be pressing charges.” Ellie’s tone was clipped as she spoke about her father. ‘He’d never want this to get out in the media.  Not very good for a politician's career, you know.”

“Oh, wow.” Lennie was stunned that that could be a possibility. “Will you ask him?”

“Who?”

“Your dad. Find out if that’s what happened or not.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ve already called me and left messages,” Ellie muttered angrily. “They’ll find some way to blame this on me, tell me my boyfriend is insane or something.  It’ll end up being my fault.”

“But it’s not, honey,” Lennie argued gently.  She leaned over to look into Ellie’s eyes. “It’s not your fault, okay? The only person to blame here is that bastard cousin of yours and your parents. You did nothing wrong, and quite frankly, neither did Jacob.  He was doing what he thought he needed to do to protect you, albeit in his Cajun caveman way.  He loves you, Ellie, whether you believe it or not.”

Ellie sat for another moment, blinking rapidly and wiping at her eyes.  Her makeup was probably ruined now.

“I have to go to work, Len.” Ellie stood up abruptly and smoothed out her clothing.  Lennie stood up next to her.

“Will you be okay?” Lennie gently asked her friend.  Ellie gave her a pained smile, her lips taut with the strain.

“I’m always okay.”

Lennie rolled her eyes at her, but Ellie ignored her.

“You’ll text me later?” Lennie asked, but Ellie knew it wasn’t a question.

“Yes. Later.”  Ellie walked to the door and started to open it, but stopped and turned to look back at Ellie. “Please don’t interfere anymore with Jacob.  Don’t tell him anything about me, and don’t ask him about me.   Just don’t.  This is too hard and it hurts too much, and I can’t go back down that road, Lennie.  I can’t.  I'm scared that I will, so please just don't.”  Ellie shook her head miserably as the tears rolled down her cheeks.  Lennie pulled her in for a hug and the two women held each other for a few moments.

“I won’t say anything, I promise.  I won’t get in your business anymore, okay?” Lennie whispered, now crying herself.

The two women hugged once more and then released each other and said their goodbyes.

Lennie went back to Baton Rouge, and Ellie resumed her workday. As long as she was busy, she was fine. It was the quiet moments when she had time to think that Jacob and this mess would invade her thoughts. While she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t a little happy that Dane had finally gotten what he deserved, she also wasn’t looking forward to the fallout. Her parents were probably furious with her, and she was already dreading that phone call.

And Jacob….what must he be going through right now?  She’d not only completely dumped all her shit on him, but now he’d gone and gotten arrested because of her! He was probably really pissed now, and she couldn’t blame him.  She was nothing but problems, and he would do well to steer clear of her.


	21. Chapter 21

Ellie arrived home later that evening, exhausted from not only work but all the things that had transpired the past few days. She dropped her bags down at the door and shrugged out of her coat.  Beaux trotted up to her as she was hanging her coat on the hook, and she reached down and rubbed his head softly.

“Hey BoBo,” she murmured as she scratched behind his ears. “You wanna go outside?”

Beaux’s ears perked up and he ran over to the back door in excitement.  Ellie followed him and opened the door, and stepped out back with him,  sitting at the patio table while the dog did his business. She picked up her phone with a grimace, staring at the alerts.

4 missed phone calls from her father and mother, along with 4 voicemails from them. There was also 3 calls from Lennie, and two from clients.

No calls from Jacob though…not even a text message.

She opened up her phone and listened to the voicemails, shrinking in on herself as each one from her father got progressively worse. His tone went from fake concern to annoyance to downright pissed off, and he demanded that she call him so that they could fix “her mess.” Ellie sighed as she dialed the number back.  Her father answered on the first ring.

“Well it’s about time,” her father’s harsh tone came over the line.

“Hello to you too, Daddy,” Ellie replied.  Her heart was pounding in her chest and her anxiety rose as it always did when she spoke with her father.  He still terrified her to this day.

“Spare me the niceties. Are you aware of what your boyfriend did yesterday?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Daddy,” Ellie retorted.  He walked out on her; he obviously didn’t want her and he certainly wasn’t her boyfriend.

“Either way, he put your cousin in the hospital.” Her father’s voice was getting angrier by the second, and Ellie had to bite back her remark about her cousin deserving it.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t know he was going to do that,” Ellie whispered into the phone.

“So you told him about the incident?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, it just happened, and I didn’t think he would do anything like that,” Ellie apologized to her father.

“Yes, well, what’s done is done. Dane won’t be filing charges, as your uncle and I agree that it would do nobody any good. We’ll just let this blow over.”

“Okay,” Ellie agreed automatically. She never went against her father’s wishes when he laid down the law; you just don’t do that.

“About this man, though. This doesn’t need to happen again, or next time I won’t be so forthcoming with my leniency.”

“So you did bond him out?” Ellie choked out the words, wishing it were some other way.  Her father snorted over the phone.

“I offered, but he declined. I assume he paid his own way out.  The only thing I did was make sure that Dane wouldn’t be pressing charges against him.”

Ellie nearly choked again, and she felt her stomach drop even lower at that revelation. Her father had offered to pay, but Jacob paid his own way.  He was probably in even more financial problems now because of her!

“Are you listening to me?” Her father’s voice was angry on the line, and it drew Ellie’s attention back to the conversation.

“Yes. Sorry. What were you saying?” She could hear her father sighing over the line at her.

“I was saying that you need to ensure that this man doesn’t do anything like this again.  We need to just let this all die down, leave it in the past the way it has been.  Who is this man, anyway?  What kind of people are you associating yourself with, Ellenore?”

Ellie bit back tears at her father’s harsh words.  It was never in the past for her; she had been dealing with it since the day it happened.

“We need to just forget about it and move on, you understand?  You probably need to distance yourself from that man, as well.  He's no good for you.   Haven't we taught you to associate with better people?"   Her father repeated, his voice raking over her nerves like sandpaper. 

It was in that moment, when her father was speaking so disdainfully about Jacob that something triggered in her.  It was like a switch had been flipped, and Ellie started feeling something, something deep in her core as it tried to bubble up.   Almost as if something were washing over her, something hot, and furious, and angry, and all she could do was ride the wave.  She could feel it so strongly it was making her hands shake, and she realized she’d hit her boiling point.  She’d had enough and she wasn’t going to take it anymore.  Her father speaking ill of Jacob was the final straw.

“No.”

“Pardon, me?  What do you mean, no?” Her father’s tone was icy, but Ellie held firm even as she gripped the arms of her chairs so hard her knuckles were turning white.

“I mean no. Just what I said. I’ve never forgotten it, and it’s never been okay for me, _Daddy_.” The word rolled off her tongue like as if there was something distasteful in her mouth.

“Ellie…” her father began, but Ellie cut him off.

“I’m glad Jacob beat the shit out of Dane. He did what you should have done all those years ago. He barely knows me, and he stood up for me when no one else would. Not even my own parents.”  Ellie’s voice had grown just as icy as her father’s, and her courage grew as she continued. 

How dare he demand that Jacob behave a certain way, when her cousin was allowed to basically go about his life with no consequences? How dare he act as if she was just supposed to continue going on about her life forever? She’d tried it for so long, and it had nearly killed her. She was furious, and she no longer cared what any of them thought about her. She was worth so much more than this. If Jacob and Ellie had taught her anything, it was that. She was worth more than this shitty treatment she’d been getting for so long from her parents.

“I don’t need your money anymore. I have my own business, paid for with my own money.  You’ve tried to buy me off all these years, to pretend like this didn’t happen, but it did, and it ruined me for so long.  But not anymore.  I’m not gonna let you and mom control my life any longer.  Jacob LeBlanc is a good man, a wonderful man that I didn't deserve.  If only you were half the man he was, then you might be something.  I don’t need you, and I don’t need her, and as far as I am concerned, you can all go to hell.  Take your goddamned money with you.”

Ellie hung up the phone, shaking with adrenaline and a great deal of fear at what she'd just done. 

Somewhere deep inside, though, she felt her courage grow a little more with what she’d just done.  She’d finally done it. She’d finally told her father off, finally told him how she felt.  Lennie would be so proud of her!  She sat back,  propped her feet up on the chair opposite her, and smiled up at the sky, feeling as if a weight had magically dropped off her shoulders and shattered on the ground, all the feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred scattering in a million different places.  For the first time in so long, she felt free. She’d come so far from where she was a few short months ago, and she was not going back to that place. Her phone buzzed and she looked down. 

It was her father calling her again, and Ellie smirked to herself.  Of course he would call again - he always had the last word in their conversations.  His word had always been law in their family.

 _Fuck you!_ she thought to herself as she pushed the decline button.  He could wait on her…or not; either way, she didn’t care what they did.  She was done with them until they made the changes that she needed to see.  If they never made those changes, she knew she would be okay on her own.  She'd always been alone, and she was okay with that.  

When the phone finally stopped buzzing, she let out the breath she'd been holding.  She picked the it back up, intent on calling Lennie, but Jacob's name popped up first in her contacts.  She bit at her lower lip as she contemplated calling him, if nothing more than to apologize for all the trouble he'd gone through because of her.  She stared at his number for the longest, struggling with calling, or texting, or doing nothing at all.  Finally, she decided she would at least text him.  If he texted back, great; if not, she knew it was over, and she could continue moving forward with her life.  Lennie's words had played in her head over and over all day long.  Maybe Jacob did care about her?  Maybe he might even love her?  Why else would he beat up her cousin like that?  He had said he was falling in love with her - was he still, or was that gone?   She had to find out; no matter what, she had to know.  She continued chewing on her lower lip as she texted him.

**Thank you.  I'd like to repay you for your trouble, so please let me know how to go about it.  I really just wanted to say thank you. Have a good evening.**

She sat back against the chair as she pressed the "send" button, wondering if it sounded generic enough, or if he would read into it and assume she was angling for something.   She didn't want to pressure him into doing anything else, or feel that he had to see her.  She really wanted to tell him how sorry she was, and then how grateful she was for all he'd done for her.  He'd done so many things for her in the short amount of time she'd known him, and she loved him dearly for that.  She loved him, and even if she never got him back, at least she knew what that felt like.   She'd never experienced  real love before, had never known what it was like to have someone else hold your heart in their hand, free to do as they would with it.  Now she knew what it meant to love someone unconditionally.  Now she knew, because that was how she loved Jacob LeBlanc.

 

* * *

 

Way down in Pierre Part, Jacob pulled his stool up to the bar and held his swollen hand up to get the bartender's attention.

“Hit me with another, Teddy.”

“You sure, Jake?” Teddy slid the shot of whiskey in front of his friend, but looked at him in concern.  He’d not seen Jacob LeBlanc ever act this way.  Ever.  “What’d you do to your hands?”

Jacob downed the shot, grimacing as the liquid burned his throat.  He squinted up at Teddy in a half-grin.

“Took care of some business.”

“Looks like business took care of you,” Teddy remarked as he looked his friend over.  Jacob had the beginnings of black eye, and both hands were very swollen, the busted skin and blood still caked on.

“You should see the other guy,” Jacob chuckled to himself.  He nodded at the empty shot glass in front of him. “Get me another.”

“I think maybe you should take it easy, brotha’.” Teddy would not be a part of his friend getting completely wasted.

“You really gonna tell me no?” Jacob looked up at Teddy in shock, his bloodshot eyes wide.

“I really am.” Teddy nodded back. “Why don’t you go play a little something, take your mind off whatever it is you got it on.”

Jacob stared Teddy down for a few tense moments, but then slapped both hands on the bar in front of him with a smile.

“That’s all right,” Jacob slurred out with a grin. “I got my own shit right here.” He reached down and pulled a small bottle of Jack Daniels out of his jacket and stood up. 

Teddy watched him stumble away from the bar, wondering what the hell could have put Jacob in such a state. He and Leon were so even-keeled, never causing any problems.  This was completely out of character.

Jacob spoke with the singer, and they bumped fists, and a few moments later, Teddy could hear the sad chords of Otis Redding’s  [These Arms of Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcHndT5xKm8) fill the bar.  It was hauntingly sad, and again Teddy wondered what the hell was going on.  It was well-known that Jacob was a blues player, but it usually wasn't a drunken, sad song he played. 

Teddy watched as Jacob hunched over the guitar, swaying back and forth as he played, his head bowed low.  He took a swig of whiskey, and Teddy knew he needed to call someone.  He reached over and grabbed his cell phone from under the bar, and dialed the only person that could deal with Jacob.


	22. Chapter 22

**A few weeks later...**

Leon dragged his brother in through the door of their house, grunting with the effort of carrying Jacob’s essentially dead-weight. He’d received yet another call from from Teddy, basically begging him to come get his drunken brother. 

Again.

It was nearly 2am this time, and Leon was pissed at having been woken up so late for such stupid shit.  When Jacob did this the first time a few weeks ago, Leon kinda understood. He’d just beat the shit out of some dude and he’d broken up with Ellie, so drinking to get drunk was not too far-fetched.  Now, though, this was the fourth time in less than 3 weeks and Leon had enough of this shit. It was getting old.  When Jacob wasn’t drinking himself into oblivion, he was out on the swamp, spending days out there alone, doing God knows what.  The last time he’d stayed out it had been over a week, and Leon worried about him the entire time.  Jacob had been a grumpy asshole ever since that day he busted that dude’s ass, and Leon didn’t know what to do to pull him out of his funk.   Going out alone on the swamp did not sit well with Leon, either.   His brother might be an idiot, but he didn’t want anything to happen to him.

“You’re a damn jackass, you know that?” Leon grouched as he stumbled through the living room and down the hall to Jacob’s room. He twisted the doorknob, nearly dropping Jacob as he kicked the door open.  Why did it feel like his brother got heavier every time they did this?  They shuffled over to the bed and Leon unceremoniously dropped Jacob on it.  Jacob groaned in protest and tried to sit up.  He fell right back down.

“Can you call her for me?” Jacob mumbled from under his ball cap.  It had shifted, and was now nearly covering his face. Leon snorted, annoyed as he struggled to pull off Jacob’s boots.

“You can call her tomorrow, when you ain't so damn wasted.”  Succeeding, Leon dropped Jacob’s boots off to the side of the bed. “You need to move over so I can pull the blanket over you.”

“She texted me….and I didn’t answer…” Jacob was slurring his words, and Leon sighed again.  He was too damn tired for this bullshit.

“She texted you weeks ago and you didn’t answer.  You can call her tomorrow, Jackass.” Leon smirked to himself at his nickname for Jacob. He’d earned it the past few weeks, that was for damn sure. 

Every time he’d dragged his brother home, the conversation with Jacob always centered on Ellie:

_Call her for me._

_I miss her._

_She texted me, should I text her back?  
_

_What should I do?_  

Leon really and truly had enough of this shit.  He would tell Jacob to call her in the morning, and tomorrow nothing would change.  Jacob would wake up, hungover as hell.  He’d be angry, and eventually he’d leave, taking his boat out on the water and away from civilization. It had been the same routine for the past few weeks, and Leon was nearing the end of his rope with his brother. He couldn’t keep watching him do this to himself.

“I heard…I heard that…I heard what ya’ said,” Jacob slurred out again. “Amos Moses.”

“Fuck off, Jackass.  Are you gonna turn over or not? ‘Cause I’m about to leave your ass here.” Leon watched Jacob, and he couldn't help but feel a little sad for him.

“Leave me alone,” Jacob mumbled.  He pulled his cap down lower over his face, and almost immediately,  Leon heard him start snoring. When he was sure his brother was soundly asleep, he removed the ball cap from his face and set it on the nightstand. He jerked the blanket out from under his sibling with all the brotherly love he could muster, grinning as Jacob grumbled in his sleep.  He rolled over, and Leon dropped the blanket on top of him.

“Get some sleep, Jackass.” Leon shook his head as he stared down at his older, supposedly more mature, brother. 

Pfft.

More mature, his ass!  Ever since he’d gotten tangled up with Ellie, Jacob had been off his game.   As sad as it was, it was also damn funny - if Leon were to be completely honest. He walked back out into the living room and down the hall to his room.  He dialed Lennie’s number as he stepped inside his room and shut the door, letting her know what was going on again. By the time the phone call had ended, they’d decided that between the two of them, they were going to sort this mess out between their brother and his girlfriend.  They'd both had it with the two of them - Ellie and Jacob - and it was time to put an end to all this nonsense. 


	23. Chapter 23

Ellie drove down the long winding driveway and parked up underneath one of the old oak trees. Taking a deep breath, she slid out of her truck and was acutely aware that her hands were shaking as she closed the door.  The whole way up, she had been wondering if she’d made the right decision coming up here.  Ever since she’d gotten in her truck down in New Orleans, she had been fretting over how Jacob would receive her – if he would at all.  He’d never called her back, so that meant something, right? 

Lennie had assured her that was not the case, and basically ordered her to go down to Pierre Part and see the man. Lennie had said he wasn’t doing well, and the only person he might listen to was Ellie. Finally, after many discussions, Ellie had agreed to come see him, if nothing more than to make sure he was okay.  She’d even brought money to pay Jacob for his bail, if the conversation should go that way.  Right now, she wasn’t sure of anything.

The old house looked as it had the last time she was here, and she was again in awe of its size. The house was elevated due to the close proximity to the bayou.  The porch wrapped around the two-story, plantation-style house, with rocking chairs sitting empty.  She could hear the breeze blowing through the trees overhead, and she shivered, unsure if it was the coolness of the fall air, or just her nerves. She could see Jacob’s truck, so she assumed he had to be here somewhere. There was another truck next to his, and she guessed that might be Leon. There were no lights on in the house from where she could see, but she walked up on the porch and knocked on the door anyway.  She stood for a few moments, feeling let down when no one came. It was her own fault for driving out here uninvited to begin with, and it was late. She’d messed around for so long and not gotten on the road, and now it was after 6pm.  With nobody home, at least she could leave now before Jacob came and physically threw her out.  Debating with herself to leave the money she’d brought, she turned to walk back to her car, but was startled to see Leon heading her way from the shop off to the side.

“Hello, Ellie,” he called with a smile. Ellie smiled back, grateful to see someone at least, although it was the wrong brother.  Leon was a quiet, gentle man, and Ellie really liked him. She’d only been around him a few times, but he always struck her as being very sweet and kind, and wise beyond his years.

“Well it’s about time.” Leon chuckled as he walked up to Ellie.

“Hi,” she mumbled, embarrassed at being here unexpectedly.  Leon stopped a few feet in front of her, and looked around the property.

“Guess you lookin’ for Jacob, yeah?” He looked back at her, and Ellie felt her cheeks heating under his gaze.

“I was…yeah…” She shoved her hands in her back pockets subconsciously, and then pulled them out and crossed her arms over her chest. God, she was so embarrassed!

“I’m sorry, but he ain’t here. Well he is, but he’s out on the water.” Leon nodded towards the back of the house. “He’s been out there for about a week.”

“A week? Oh my god!” Ellie looked at the water frantically, and then back at Leon. “Is he okay? I mean, have you checked on him?” Her heart was pounding in her chest at the thought of Jacob out there on the swamp, injured, or worse!  Her thoughts turned back to the night they went spotlighting, and the huge alligators they’d seen.  Oh god!

“It’s okay, Ellie,” Leon smiled at her knowingly. “He does it all the time. He calls me on the radio occasionally, letting me know where he’s at.” Ellie breathed a sigh of relief at Leon’s words.

“Is he coming back soon?” Ellie asked hopefully, and Leon chuckled as he pulled the walkie-talkie out of his back pocket.

“I can ask him to.” Ellie looked up at him, her eyes wide with hope – and not a little trepidation - and Leon chuckled again. He pressed the button on the device and spoke into it.

“Jake? You out there, buddy?”

Ellie listened to the static as he pressed the button again and waited.  A few seconds later, the static started again, and Ellie nearly fainted when she heard that deep voice come over the line.

“Yeah, bro. What you need?”

“You got a visitor,” Leon pressed and held the button again as he spoke.

“Who’s it?” Jacob replied.  Ellie could hear the boat engine idling in the background as he spoke.

“Ellie. She’s here with me now, at the house.” Leon stared at Ellie as they waited for his response. She just now noticed that he had blue eyes, almost translucent, as the stared back at her. It felt like eternity passed before Jacob replied, and Ellie breathed in relief when she heard him come over the line again.

“I’m on my way. About 15 minutes, maybe.” Jacob’s strong voice came again, and Ellie wondered if he was as nervous as she was. He surely didn’t sound like, and she had to tamp down the insecurity that started rising.

Maybe he didn’t want her here?  Maybe he would tell her to leave?  Oh god!  She wondered if she’d made a colossal mistake coming here…

“Ellie?” Leon dragged her back into reality, and she blankly stared up at him. “I asked if you wanted to wait in the house? Mosquitoes are gonna be bad here shortly. You can see Jake from the back porch when he pulls the boat in, too.”

“Okay,” Ellie nodded numbly. She had no idea what she wanted to do, or what she should do, but she allowed Leon to lead her to the house.

She followed him through the huge house, and he showed her the basics - the kitchen, where the bathroom was, and the door to the back porch. When they were back in the kitchen, Leon pulled his cap back on and smiled down at her.

“I’m gonna leave, okay? Got some work to finish down at the shop, and then I’m heading up town.”

“You’re leaving?” Ellie whispered breathlessly, anxiety rising ever higher.  She was going to be alone with Jacob.  Oh god. _Oh god._

“Yeah. Don’t think Jake would want me here when he gets back anyways.” Leon winked down at her, and Ellie swallowed hard. “You’ll be alright, Ellie.  He won’t be long.”

“Do you think he wants me here?” she asked the question she’d been wanting to ask since she arrived.

“Yes,” Leon nodded. “He’s been pissy for far too long, so yes.  I, for one, am happy you’re here.  Somebody needs to straighten his ass out.” Leon chuckled and Ellie felt just a bit of her anxiety start to lessen at his assurances.  Maybe he was right, and maybe Jacob wouldn’t throw her out on her ear when he got here.

She followed Leon back to the front of the house and watched him walk back down to the shed.  She could see the lightning bugs flickering in the dimming light, and she again started worrying about Jacob out on the water. 

What was he doing out there alone? 

And at night? 

Where was he sleeping? 

She walked back through the house, flicking on lights as she made her way to the back porch.  No sooner had she stepped outside when she heard the engine of a boat approaching quickly from down the river. Her heart started pounding against her ribs, and she rushed to the bathroom to check her hair and makeup.  She looked like shit, of course, but what could she do?  She brushed her hair back, doing the best she could to look presentable.  She had just stepped back out on to the porch when Jacob came walking around the corner of the house, a rifle propped over his shoulder.  He was dressed in camo, his jaws stubbly, and she thought he’d never looked better.  He looked up at the porch, caught her staring down at him, and he stopped at the bottom of the steps.

“HI,” Ellie whispered breathlessly.

“Hello.” Jacob’s voice was even, composed, and again Ellie worried that she’d made a huge mistake in coming here. He didn’t seem affected at all by her presence. He shifted the rifle on his shoulder, but made no move to come up. 

She could see he was exhausted, and she wondered what exactly he’d been doing out there alone on the swamp.

“I need to get inside and get a shower,” Jacob stated calmly as he started up the stairs.  Ellie scooted over to the side, out of his way as he came up.  He passed by her and grabbed the handle of the door, and held it open for her.

“You comin’?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ellie mumbled nervously. 

She awkwardly slid past Jacob and waited as he came inside, and then followed him to the kitchen.  He laid his rifle down on the table as he sat to remove his boots, and she stood awkwardly by the far end of the counter, not sure where to look or what to do.  Jacob, having kicked his boots off, pulled his cap off as well and laid it on the table.  Ellie watched as his hair remained flattened against his head, and she could see that the man needed a haircut like yesterday. I t was curled up along his neck, and over his forehead, and she had a sudden urge to push it back, to smooth the lines that had formed there.  _She_ was most likely the source of his frustration and stress, she thought to herself.  He laid his sunglasses next to the hat and stood up, untucking his shirt as he did so.  He still said nothing.

“Do you want me to leave?” Ellie timidly asked, her eyes fixed on the floor.   She had to know.   He wasn't talking to her, so if he wanted her to go, he needed to tell her now.  She was about to have a panic attack, and she stared at the patterns on the tile in an effort to ground herself.  Jacob silently padded over to her and stood before her, and she gasped as he tilted her chin up with his fingers.

“Please don’t.” Jacob stared down at her, his brown eyes searching hers. “I just need to take a bath. I won’t take long, I swear.”

"Oh no, it’s okay! Take as long as you need,” Ellie squeaked out, her voice sounding ridiculously high even to her ears.

“Wait for me.” Jacob smiled down at her, and Ellie nervously smiled back.

“Okay," Ellie whispered shyly.  She was barely breathing, her brain muddled at finally being so close to this man. 

Jacob released her chin, and she watched him walk down the hallway in the direction of what she assumed was the bedroom. He closed the door behind him, and Ellie let out a long, shaky breath.  Her hands were still shaking, and she leaned up against the wall for support as she tried to calm herself down.  What the hell had just happened?


	24. Chapter 24

       

 

Not wanting to disturb anything, Ellie headed back to porch, thankful that it was enclosed well enough to ward off the mosquitoes. It was getting colder, but the fall never stopped the annoying insects it seemed; they’d need a good, hard freeze for that. Bastards.

She was sitting in one of the rocking chairs, watching the lightning bugs dance in the sky when Jacob re-appeared a short while later. He stepped out onto the porch and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.  He was now dressed in jeans,  and a tee-shirt that had obviously had the sleeves cut off.  His hair was wet and messy, and he was barefoot, and just plain gorgeous.  She had to make herself stop staring at him, and she looked down at her lap again in a concentrated effort to not look desperate.

“Was wonderin’ where you went,” Jacob gave her a bashful smile as he stared down at her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to mess up your house,” Ellie apologized, but Jacob waved off her protest.

“This house needs some messin’ up. It’s old and lonely.” He playfully winked down at her, and Ellie’s breath hitched.  It was always that wink with him, it always managed to erase all rational thought from her brain.  She blinked up at him, his grin getting bigger as he stared down at her.

“You wanna stay out here, or go inside?” Jacob asked.  He stood up straight and shoved his hands in his pockets, and Ellie immediately thought he must be cold out here in the cooler night air. She stood as well, mentally telling herself to calm the fuck down.  _Right fucking now, calm down! she screamed in her head._  

“We can go in if you’d like.” She agreed, mentally praising herself for sounding slightly composed.

Jacob held the door open and Ellie ducked under his arm and headed back in. She walked back to the living room area, not knowing where to go, and stood awkwardly by the couch. Jacob padded into the room, grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and plopped down on the couch. Ellie followed his lead and sat down at the other end. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap as she waited for him to speak.

“You see Leon?” Jacob asked as he flipped the television on. He set it on a low volume, and Ellie was thankful for at least that small distraction.  It was entirely too quiet in this room, and she was sure Jacob could hear her heart thrumming against her ribs.

“I did, yes. He showed me around and left. Said he had work to do.” Ellie’s voice was high-pitched with nervousness, and she glanced up to see Jacob staring at her intently.

“You’re nervous?” he asked her gently, and Ellie nodded.

“Yes. A lot actually,” she admitted freely.  No more lying. “Are you?”

“Yes, actually, I am,” Jacob admitted as well, and Ellie relaxed a bit as his admission.  At least she wasn’t the only one.  She smiled in relief.

“So, why’d you come?” Jacob asked bluntly.  He immediately held his hand up to his mouth in regret. “Aww, shit! I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like that, Ellie.”

“No, it’s okay.” Ellie countered. “I came to see you."  Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she held her hands tightly to keep them from shaking, lest Jacob should see.

“To see me?”

“Yes. I wanted to tell you…that…I wanted to tell you thank you for what you did,” Ellie stammered. 

“What did I do?”  Jacob stared at her in confusion, his brows drawn together.

“For what you did with Dane.”

“Oh. That was my pleasure actually,” Jacob smirked a bit as he balled his hands up in fists and relaxed them a few times. Ellie could see the cuts on his knuckles, and she wondered if those were from Dane or from being in the swamp.

“No, really, Jacob. I don’t think you realize what that did for me.  When Lennie came to tell me, I was shocked and surprised, and scared at the consequences, but then it was all okay.” She smiled down at her hands in her lap. “I was able to tell my father how I felt, and I didn’t have to put up with it anymore. I think he and my mother understand now, so thank you.” She looked up at him, her lips screwed up in an effort to not cry as she continued talking.  Jacob leaned forward, concerned.

“Ellie-”

“No. Let me finish, please, okay?” Ellie asked softly, and Jacob nodded in agreement. “So, I pretty much told my father… actually did tell him… that he and my mother could go to hell over this. My mother called me later, and explained how she had always wanted to help me, but didn’t know how.  It was hard with my father, and that she thought everything was going to be fine with me.  It was so hard for them to admit what happened, you know? To see how they had failed me.   She admitted that she had made so many mistakes with me, and she was going to do whatever it took to fix those mistakes.” Ellie blinked up at the sky in an effort to stop the tears, but a few managed to roll down her cheeks.  She wiped at those with her fingertips.

“So now, we’re all going to go to counseling – even my father – and we’re going to try to work through this all. I’m sure it won’t ever be completely fixed, but at least it’s a start, right?” Ellie sniffled as she wiped at her nose with the back of her hand.  Jacob got up and walked to the kitchen, returning with some paper towels. He handed them to Ellie with a sheepish grin.

“We don’t usually have tissues ‘round here.” He sat back down on the couch, closer to Ellie this time.

“It’s okay, Jacob.” She wiped at her face with the tissues and sniffled a few more times before continuing to talk. “So, I’ve come to pay you back for all the trouble. I know you had to pay bail, and I hate that all my stuff fell on you.”

“I don’t need your money, Ellie,” Jacob looked down at his lap and then back up at her, that smirk still in place.

“But-”

“I’ve got plenty of money, Ellie.  Leon and I went into a business with some local shops and stores, and we’ve got more money than we’ll ever need.”

“Really?” Ellie asked incredulously.

“Really.” Jacob nodded , grinning as he did so. “It was touch and go for a long time, but after you and I split up the first time, I pulled my head out of my ass. Fixed up some of the relationships with the old people my daddy used to work with. Even bought a grocery store in town.  I’m not rich by any means, but we’re no longer facing losing this place, and we can eat.”

“Wow…” Ellie whispered. She was stunned.

“Yep.” Jacob was so proud of himself, and Ellie couldn’t hide the smile that appeared again.

“I’m proud of you, Jacob.  Really.” She was so damn proud of him that she didn’t know what to do! Jacob reached over and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. She watched as he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it tenderly as he had always done, and as it always did, it broke her skin out in goosebumps. It was just the sweetest thing…

“I’m proud of you, Ellie.  It’s very brave what you did.”

“I’m sorry about all of that, Jacob, about my past, and everything.” Ellie grimaced as she spoke. “I’m sorry, and I wish I could undo it, but I can’t.  I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier.”

“Stop, Ellie.” Jacob turned to her and took her hand, placing it in his lap as he covered it with his other. “I need to apologize. I walked out on you after hearing all that, so I’m the one that needs to be saying sorry. I didn’t walk out because I was disgusted, or anythin’ like that.  I was just so damn pissed off and angry, and I was afraid I was going to do something stupid. I had to leave, had to get out of there.”

Ellie cried softly, and Jacob reached up and cupped her cheek with his big hand, his thumb brushing away a tear as it rolled down.

“So I called Lennie, and she basically pointed me in the direction, and that’s how it all went down.  Afterwards, I was too ashamed to call you up after the way I’d left you.”

“Really?” Ellie sniffled out.

“Really. Lennie even chewed my ass repeatedly, but I couldn’t do it.  I figured you hated me, but at least I beat the shit out of that dude.”

“I never hated you, Jacob. I expected you to walk out, but I never hated you for it.”

“I’m sorry, Ellie. Can you forgive me? I should have called you.” Jacob scooted closer and brought their clasped hands up to his chest. “I never wanted to leave you like that, but I was angry, and-“

Ellie leaned forward, shocking the hell out of herself as she kissed him.  She brought her free hand up and cupped his strong jaw as she gently, but nervously,  kissed him.  Jacob was still holding their hands against his chest, and Ellie could see the disbelief written clearly on his beautifully weathered face when she pulled back.  She leaned forward and kissed him again, her courage rising after he didn't push her away.

“I love you, Jacob,” Ellie whispered against his lips.  She leaned back to look at him, smiling. “I do. I should have said it a long time ago, but I love you.”

Jacob stared at her for a few moments, and then that lop-sided, bashful smile that she loved appeared, and Ellie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well hell. I was going to say that first.” He grinned as he pulled her in for another kiss, his large hands cradling her cheeks as he held her to him.

“Say what?” Ellie asked him shyly.  She needed to hear those words so badly, needed to hear them to believe it.

“Say how much I love you, baby.  How much I’ve loved you since that first day we met at Cooper’s party.”

“You did not,” Ellie snorted in disbelief, but Jacob shook his head.

“Oh, girl,  yes I did.” Jacob pulled her in for a hug, and Ellie melted in to him happily. She was about to start crying, she could feel it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ellie asked him as he pulled her on to his lap.  She wiggled herself until she got comfortable, and Jacob wrapped his strong arms around her.

“Cause I was broke, and I didn’t think you’d have anything to do with me at the time.” Ellie leaned back to stare at him, her eyes searching his.  Jacob nodded down at her.

“After we split up, I went out and busted my ass, intent on getting you back.  I was pissed when you left me, but I was more pissed that I couldn't go and get you back then.  I knew I didn't have a ice cube's chance in hell if I was still broke like that.  It was the one thing that kept me going when I wanted to quit, to give up and sell this place and be done with it all. I was doing it all for you, Ellie.”

“Oh, god Jacob!” Ellie started crying, unable to control the tears as she thought about all the time they’d wasted by not talking to each other.  She buried her face in his neck, sniffling as she wiped the tears at her cheeks. The fact that he did all this for her was beyond her wildest imagination, and she felt her heart swell with love for him.

“Why you crying, baby?” Jacob murmured against her hair. His hands were wrapped around her, with one resting on her thigh as he rubbed it gently.

“Because I’m so happy,” she sniffled again, and Jacob laughed underneath her.

“I’m sorry I walked out the way I did. I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I figured you wouldn’t want me after I walked out the way I did, and I didn’t want to bother you.  That’s why I stayed out in the swamp for so long.  Being here, I was too tempted to call you, and I didn’t want to bug you.  I always hoped you’d come back to me, though.” He kissed her on top of her head as he nuzzled her hair, and Ellie reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

“I love you, Jacob. More than you could possibly imagine, and I don’t deserve you.” She closed her eyes as she nuzzled his neck. He smelled so good, and she wanted to stay here forever, wrapped up in his strong arms.  She’d never felt safer than she did in this moment, held so tightly by this man that she adored.

“It’s me that don’t deserve you, Ellie. I’m not rich, so I can’t give you all that stuff your family did, but I’ll try my damnedest. I'll never stop loving you.”

Ellie leaned back to look up at him again. He had tried to sound confident, but right now he looked so uncertain that it broke her heart. She rubbed her fingers along his jaw tenderly.

“You’ve given me more than my family ever could, Jacob.” She leaned forward and kissed him again. “And I have plenty money for both of us. More money than I know what to do with.”

They hugged each other again, both delighting in being so close to one another after so long.  Finally Jacob spoke.

“So you love me, and I really love you, and we’ve got lots of money.” Jacob waggled his eyebrows. “Seems like there’s only one thing left to do…”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Ellie whispered as she kissed his jaw again. “Please take me to bed, Mr. LeBlanc.”

Jacob stood up, lifting her with him, and Ellie wrapped her legs around his waist as she held onto him. They kissed the whole way, and Ellie was again in awe of this man’s strength as he carried her so effortlessly with him.

“Whatever the lady wants,” Jacob murmured as he carried her down the hall and into his bedroom.  He slowly lowered her to the bed and stood back up.  She watched as he pulled his shirt off, and then took a moment to glance around his room.

“This room needs a woman’s touch,” she giggled as she took in the sparse furnishings and bare walls. This was definitely a man’s room.

“You need to touch me first,” Jacob growled huskily as he lowered himself down and over her. He crawled between her legs and slid up her body. Ellie wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off and beg him to take her, but she knew she had one more thing that needed to be discussed with him.

“Jacob, about me not being able to get pregnant…” she trailed off as she stared down at the spot at the base of his throat.

“I don’t care. We’ll adopt. Or steal Lennie’s kids.” Jacob leaned down to try to kiss her, but Ellie pushed back into the mattress and out of his reach.  She placed her hands on his shoulders and stared up at him intently.

“No, I’m serious.  Can you be with me knowing that I might not be able to have babies?” Ellie’s voice was small, her insecurities threatening to overtake her again. Why was everything so fucking hard? Jacob leaned back as he stared down at her.

“I don’t care. I’ve thought about it, and I don’t care. Like I said, we’ll adopt, or somethin'.   We’ll figure it out.” He leaned down and kissed her firmly on the mouth. “I just want you, Ellie.”

Ellie blinked back tears, but said nothing as they made love. Jacob was completely in control this time, and she didn’t care. His strong hands, soft lips, and warm body coaxed whimpers and sounds out of her that she’d never heard before.  When they finally came together, Jacob trembled against her, and Ellie fought back tears as she stared into his beautiful brown eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered through blurry eyes.

“And I love you,” Jacob breathed against her lips. He started to move inside her, and Ellie wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and let him take them to that place where it all made sense.

* * *

 

Late into the night, they were wrapped up around each other, both completely exhausted from making love. Ellie had her head resting on Jacob’s chest, and she twisted her fingers in the hair on his chest with a smile.

“I never thought I’d be this happy,” she quietly admitted.  Jacob tightened his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"That’s my only goal in life, to make you happy.”

Sighing happily, Ellie wrapped her arm around him and held onto his side with her fingers.  God how she loved this man!

“Lennie’s gonna be happy, too,” Jacob chuckled underneath her, and Ellie smiled.

“Yes, I think so.  I need to text her," Ellie said as she started to get up.  Jacob quickly pulled her back down on top of his chest.

"You can call my sister later," he growled as he pulled her completely on top of him.  Grinning, Ellie adjusted herself so that she was straddling him, and she propped her arms up on his broad chest and stared down at him.

"Is there something else I should be doing?"  Ellie teased, arching an eyebrow.  Jacob reached down and cupped her behind, pulling her up against his quickly hardening erection.

"You should be doing me," he murmured huskily.  Ellie felt him come in contact with her core, and she closed her eyes with a moan as she felt a burst of wetness form between her legs.  She didn't think it was possible to want to make love this many times in one night, but hell if she wasn't ready to go again!   Biting her lip, she opened her eyes and stared down at him as she swiveled her hips against him.

"You're right. You've been doing me all night, so now it's my turn," she purred as she reached down and grabbed his stiff cock and pressed it to her entrance.  Backing up, she slid herself down on top of him, groaning as her sore body stretched yet again to accommodate him.  It was painfully delicious, the way his thickness filled her completely. 

"Fuck..." Jacob groaned as she slowly sat up on him. 

Her hands gripped his taut stomach and she began to roll her hips, each pass emphasized by a pant or strangled moan.  Jacob planted his hands at her hips, his fingers gripping her tightly as he watched her from below, his eyes hooded with lust as Ellie's breasts bounced with her movements.  They were so beautiful, so full and perfect and the taut, rosy tips just begged for his touch.  He reached up and cupped them, unable to hold himself back any longer.  As soon as Ellie felt his hands cupping her, tugging at her nipples, she dropped her head back and started moving, not caring what she looked like or sounded like any longer. It didn't matter who was in control - if anyone even was.   All that matter was this connection between the two of them, this spot where they were joined, and she moved her body in such a way to get closer to him, to feel him completely.

"Just like that, baby," Jacob encouraged her as he began thrusting up into her, his hips lifting her up with the effort.  

"Just...like...that..." He was grunting now, straining with the effort to stave off his release.  He reached down and found her clit, and began circling it with his thumb, urging her to come quicker.  Ellie began squirming against him, and he could feel her fingernails biting into the skin of his thighs as she clawed at him.  She rolled her hips faster, trying desperately to match Jacob's thrusts as well as his finger at her clit.

"Come on, Ellie!" Jacob urged as he brought another finger up and tugged at her clit, pulling it and rolling it as he rammed himself up into her. 

That was all it took, as Ellie screamed his name as she exploded around him.  Jacob tried to continue rubbing her clit as he came, but it was erratic at best.  His eyes rolled back in his head and he grasped her hips as he held her to him, pumping in her over and over as he spent himself fully.  Ellie rolled her hips a few more times before it became too much, and she collapsed on Jacob's chest, panting  as she tried to catch her breath.  She could hear Jacob's heart thrumming in his chest, and she smiled as she heard him trying to catch his own breath. 

"I know I've said it before, but damn, sweetie," Jacob mumbled lazily.  His hands rested on her back, and she could barely feel his fingertips as the grazed her sensitive skin near her sides.

"I know," she giggled against him.  She shifted a bit, and Jacob hissed at her movements.  Ellie giggled again.

"Kills alligators for a living, but can't handle a hairdresser from Lafayette, huh?" she teased as she wriggled against him again.  Jacob grabbed her by her ass and held her still.

"I admit it.  You win, sweetheart.  They ain't no gator in the swamp can compete with you," he sleepily murmured against the top of her head. 

She felt his hands relax and slide down her hips, and she knew he'd fallen asleep, or was very close to it. Smiling to herself, she leaned up on his chest and stared down at him.  His eyes were barely cracked open as he stared up at her, and she couldn't help but smile even bigger.  The man was so damn sexy and now completely adorable - all at the same time.  She watched as his eyes closed completely, and she couldn't help but lean down and kiss him on the corner of his mouth where his lips were just barely parted. She stayed still for a few moments, ensuring he was asleep before she would move.

As quietly as possible, she crawled off him and went to the bathroom to clean up.  When she was finished, she slipped on Jacob's tee-shirt and slid back in bed next to him.  She adjusted herself under his arm,  rested her head against his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist.  As she listened to the strong steady thump of his heart beat, she couldn't help but think that it was she who had won.  She had more than she ever thought she would ever have, more than she ever deserved, and he was laying right here, right next to her.  She'd finally found her "stop" on this crazy train of life, and she was getting off.   She no longer had to run, and she no longer had to hide;  she'd found her way home.

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Approximately 6 months later...**

Lennie stirred the pot of gumbo on the stove as she watched Cooper and Ellie out in the backyard. They were waiting on the boys to get back from the store, and then they were all going to eat dinner together.  Lennie had just dumped the chicken and sausage in the pot when Ellie and Cooper walked in the door, both sweaty from being outside. It was still cool, but it was always humid in Louisiana – there was no escaping that.

“You guys thirsty?” Lennie asked the two as they walked in the kitchen.  Ellie’s eyes got big, and Lennie watched as the color faded from her face.

Ellie turned as she cupped a hand over her mouth, and ran down the hall, just barely making it to the bathroom before throwing up. Situating Cooper in his room, Lennie quickly headed to the bathroom where Ellie was. Her friend was still clutching the toilet, her hands shaking as she fought back waves of nausea.

“You alright?” Lennie asked warily. She wasn’t good with other people throwing up - it usually made her throw up, too - so she tried to avoid it if all possible.

“Yeah…I think so.” Ellie sat back against the tub and rested her head on the edge of it.  

Without looking – and holding her breath the entire time – Lennie reached over and closed the toilet lid and flushed it again. She then grabbed a rag from a drawer, wet it with cool water and handed it to Ellie.

“Did you eat something bad?” Lennie asked as she sat down on top of the toilet.

“I don’t know. I’ve been sick for a few days now, and I am so damn tired. All I wanna do is sleep. Maybe it’s the flu,” Ellie replied wearily as she laid the rag over her face. Lennie looked at her carefully.

“Are you late?”

“What?” Ellie's voice was muffled under the rag. “Late for what?”

“Your period, Ellie. Are you late?” Lennie asked excitedly.  Across from her, Ellie pulled the rag off her face and stared at her friend in annoyance.

“I can’t get pregnant, Lennie.” Ellie’s flat tone was that of someone completely not interested, but her friend would not be deterred.

“When was your last period?” Lennie asked again.  Ellie threw her hands up in aggravation as she glared at Lennie. 

What the hell??

“They're never regular. I have no idea. I honestly don’t even keep track of them anymore.” Ellie placed the rag over her face and laid her head back down on the edge of the tub. She was done with this conversation.

“I’ll be right back!” Lennie left the bathroom, and Ellie sighed in relief at the quiet.  It was short-lived, as Lennie reappeared a few moments later.

“Get up and take this.”

Ellie pulled the rag off one side of her face and stared up at Lennie.  She jerked back, as Lennie had a pregnancy test shoved in her face. “No way.”

“Yes, way. Take it now.”

“I can’t get pregnant, so you’re just wasting it on me,” Ellie bit out.  Now she felt like crying, and she was getting pissed off the more she thought about it.

“Take the damn test!” Lennie shoved it at her again determinedly.  Ellie stared at her for a moment, and realizing she wasn’t going to take no for an answer, yanked it out of her hand.

“Fine.” Ellie glared at Lennie.

“I’ll wait outside. Just pee on the stick, and-”

“I know how to take a damn pregnancy test,” Ellie grumbled as she crawled to her feet.  She shakily stood up, and gave Lennie a pointed look. “You can leave now.”

Lennie held up her hands with a giggle and headed out the door. She popped her head back in before closing it. “Call me when you’re done!”

“Just go! Oh my god!” Ellie snapped angrily.

Lennie closed the door finally, and Ellie set about taking the damn pregnancy test.  She peed on the stick and set it on the sink counter, not bothering to get her hopes up.  She’d taken so many damn pregnancy tests over the years, she could buy stock in the company.  It was really quite pathetic, and she kinda felt sad that Lennie was about to get her heart broken ...

* * *

 

“Oh my god, Ellie. Oh my god.” Lennie whispered. She held the pregnancy test in her fingers, her hands trembling as she stared at it.  Both women were sitting on the floor again, trying to be as quiet as possible.  Michael, Leon, and Jacob had all returned, and were all in the kitchen eating gumbo with Cooper.

“What!?” Ellie practically yelled, but caught herself as she remembered they were not alone.

“You’re pregnant.” Lennie choked back tears as she handed the test over to Ellie. “Oh my god.”

Ellie took the test in her hands and sank down, her back against the cool wall as she stared at the pregnancy test. Two lines. She couldn’t remember how many times before she’d wanted to see two lines, and now here she was with two pink lines.  _TWO PINK LINES!!_   

She was pregnant.  She and Jacob were having a baby.  She looked over at Lennie in disbelief.  Lennie was already openly crying and that made Ellie start.  They smiled at each other, and then started laughing and hugged each other as the tears flowed.

“Oh my god!” Lennie cried happily. “I’m gonna be an aunt!”

“I’m gonna be a mother!” Ellie whispered.  She was in shock right now, and she was shaking, and she was just so damn happy. Never in a million years did she expect to get pregnant. In that moment, she started thanking God for not letting her get pregnant with someone else.  Maybe it was always meant to be Jacob all along?

“You gotta go tell my brother!” Lennie leaned back and stared at her friend, a huge smile on her face.

“Oh my god!” Ellie whispered again as the tears started anew.  Jacob was going to be so happy! He’d said he’d be fine without having kids, but Ellie knew better.  Just watching him with Cooper had shown her that much.

“Should I go tell him now?  Like in front of Michael?” Ellie was trying to be cognizant of Lennie’s feelings, given what had just happened a few months ago.  Lennie's miscarriage had been hard on them all, and she certainly didn't want to cause any undue strain on her or Michael.  She grabbed Lennie’s hand in hers and held it tightly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ellie asked softly.

“I’m fine. Promise,” Lennie assured her with a sweet smile. “Now get out there and tell my brother he’s gonna be a daddy, okay?”

Ellie stood up shakily – happy this time – and walked to the sink to clean her face.  She could not stop grinning! She looked back down at Lennie who was still sitting on the floor, smiling up at her.

“I’m gonna go tell him now!” Ellie was practically jumping up and down, hardly able to control her excitement.

“Go then!” Lennie smiled as she, too, stood up. “I just need to use the restroom really quick, okay?”

With one more quick hug, Ellie rushed out the door, leaving Lennie behind in the bathroom.   A few moments later, a knock came at the door. 

"Almost done," Lennie called softly.  She tried to make her voice sound normal, but the strain was there.

"It's me, sweetheart," Michael answered.  "Can I come in?"

Relieved, Lennie opened the door and Michael walked in.  She immediately went to him and buried her face against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.  He rested his chin on top of her head as he held her, his hands traveling up and down her back soothingly.

"You alright?"

"Ellie's pregnant," Lennie whispered into his chest.  "She just took a test."

"Hmmm..." Michael murmured against her.  "Did you tell her?"

"No.  Not yet," Lennie shook her head.

"I think that's a good idea, luv."  Michael pulled back to look down at her, his blue eyes gentle.  "Let's wait a little longer this time, yeah?  You're almost over the first trimester this time, so it's close."

"I know, I just feel guilty not telling her." Lennie moved back into Michael's arms. "I just didn't think I'd get pregnant this fast, you know?"

"I can't help it," Michael chuckled against her. 

"Of course, it's your magical sperm," she laughed as she pulled out of his arms.  "Come on.  I wanna go see my brother's face when he finds out he's gonna be a daddy."

Michael rolled his eyes dramatically as he followed her out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"I can only imagine your brother fathering a child.  If it's a boy, he'll probably have a full beard when he's born, and will automatically know how to shoot some type of weapon."  Michael chuckled again to himself, but sobered when he saw Lennie glaring at him.   He wisely chose to look chagrined.  "Err...sorry."

"Well you're going to be his uncle, so you can teach him how to drink whiskey and cuss," Lennie teased playfully, but now it was Michael's turn to look annoyed. 

"So that's all I do then?  Curse and drink?"  He stopped in the hallway and crossed his arms like a petulant child.  Lennie grinned back at him.

"And you do it so well, baby," she laughed as she walked back up to him and stood on her tip-toes.  "Kiss me, please."

Michael begrudgingly bent down and chastely kissed her, causing Lennie to giggle again at his behavior.  She grabbed his hand and dragged him down the hall in search of Ellie and her brother.

"Can you imagine Ellie and I being pregnant at the same time?" Lennie giggled to herself.  "We're going to have so much fun!" 

"Yeah, it's going to be great, I'm sure of it," Michael mumbled under his breath as they walked into the kitchen in search of everyone else.  

He started thinking about baby showers, and cravings, and all the other things he'd missed out on the first time, and he started feeling a little overwhelmed.  Now, with Ellie pregnant alongside Lennie, it was only going to add to the chaos.  Those two together were insane - at best -  on a quiet day!  Couple that with Cooper and his crazy schedule, and he was again starting to stress out.  Apparently he'd not had enough time to process the previous pregnancy before Lennie had miscarried, because now it was falling down on top of him like a ton of bricks.   Michael shook his head to himself and tried to steady his nerves.

God help him and Jacob...

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

With a hand at her mouth to cover up her grimace, Ellie walked into the kitchen area in search of Jacob.  He had just shoved another spoonful of gumbo in,  but his eyes lit up when he saw her. Cooper and Leon were already gone, most likely back in the boy’s room watching television or playing with something.

“You alright?” He wiped his mouth off and nodded down at the stool next to him.  Ellie shook her head in disagreement; she was not sitting that close to the food.  Her stomach roiled again at the thought!

“Can you come with me for a minute?”  She asked him from where she stood over by the island.  Jacob looked at her curiously, but scooted his stool out and stood. “I’m gonna go to the guest room, okay?  So meet me there?”

“Okay,” Jacob replied as he carried his bowl to the sink and cleaned it.  Without another word, Ellie headed back off down the hall, leaving Jacob wondering – _and worried_ – about what was going on. He put his bowl in the dishwasher and headed down to the guest room.  When he opened the door, he saw Ellie sitting on the bed, her legs drawn up underneath her as she rested her head against the headboard. She looked up when he entered, and he could see she looked nervous even though she was smiling back at him.  He softly closed the door behind him.

“Ellie..baby? What’s goin’ on?” He walked over to the bed and sat down, his leg also drawn up underneath him as he faced her.  Without saying a word, Ellie reached down beside her and picked up a small brown bag that he’d not seen earlier.  She handed it to him, and he could see her fingers were trembling.

“Open it, please,” she whispered softly. Jacob looked down at the bag in his hands and then back up at her in confusion.

“What’s in here?” He shook the bag, confused even more when he didn’t hear anything rattling around.  It felt like a pencil, or something….

“Jacob, just open it, okay?” Ellie urged him gently. 

With one last look at her, he opened the bag and peeked inside, but couldn’t see anything, so he dumped it out into his hand. The item fell out into his large palm. It was a small, white piece of plastic, and he had no idea what it was. He turned it over in his hand, but when his eyes landed on the two pink lines on the other side, he felt his stomach drop. He was fairly certain of what this was…

He swallowed hard and looked up at Ellie. His brows were drawn together, and he was sure he wasn’t breathing. He looked back down at the thing in his hand and then back up at her.  Ellie nodded gently when she saw the comprehension cross over his features.

“Are you saying…?” he trailed off, unable to say the words.  Ellie smiled tremulously.

“Yes. I’m pregnant, Jacob,” she whispered as she crossed her hands over her still-flat tummy.

“You’re pregnant?” Jacob repeated.  He was absolutely dumbfounded, completely at a loss for words. Never in a million years did he expect to hear this from her.

“Yes.”

“You’re pregnant and I’m the daddy?” Jacob asked, and now Ellie very nearly rolled her eyes at him.  The damn idiot!!

“Are you serious? Of course you’re the daddy!” She was huffing now, clearly aggravated with Jacob’s response. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat back, glaring at him.  Jacob stared at her for a moment before breaking out in an enormous grin. Ellie continued to glare at him, her eyes narrowed and her mouth taut as Jacob scooted over to her. She blinked rapidly to keep those damn tears at bay, but it was no use - her eyes were already filling up.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he apologized as he pulled her onto his lap.  Ellie sat stiffly against him. “I’m a little shocked. I wasn’t trying to imply anything, sweetie.”

“Then why would you say something like that?” Ellie sniffled as she wiped at her nose.  Seeing her so upset, Jacob pulled her even closer as he turned her to face him on his lap.  Ellie blinked back more tears as she stared back at him.  Jacob’s face again melted into a smile, and this only aggravated Ellie more, and she tried to push off his lap, but he held her firm.

“Let me up, Jacob.” She turned and leaned off his lap in an effort to get up, but his arm around her midsection held her in place.

“I’m sorry, I swear.” He tried to turn her back to him, but she stubbornly refused. “Ellie…sweetie…look at me, please.” 

Sighing, Ellie reluctantly turned back to him, and Jacob shifted her so that she was again facing him on his lap.

“I love you, Ellie. I’m sorry for the way I reacted, but believe me I meant nothin’ by it.” He reached up and cupped her cheek tenderly. “I just really never thought we’d have that, and I’m a little shocked.  That’s all, sweetheart. Nothin’ more.”

“Well how do you think I feel?” Ellie muttered petulantly as she fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

“I can’t even imagine, baby. You’re happy, right?” Jacob asked her, and Ellie looked up at him again.  She saw on his face his own insecurity, clear for the first time, and it served to melt her heart a little.

“Yes. I’m very happy,” she smiled hesitantly at him. 

"That’s why you’ve been sick so much lately,” he deduced. “And your boobs…” he trailed off as he stared down at her chest.  She had been so much more sensitive there lately, and he could feel himself getting hard just thinking about pulling her shirt off and-

“Jacob Andrew!” Ellie’s annoyed tone drew his eyes back up to hers, and he smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged his broad shoulders.

“I can’t help it. You’re just too damn hot for me...now even more so,” he murmured as he pulled her closer to him. The feeling of him wrapping his arms around her was too much, and Ellie giggled as she wrapped hers around him and buried her face against his bearded jaw.

“We need to go home,” Jacob mumbled into her hair as he dragged a hand through it, tangling it around his fingers.

“Why?” She had a pretty good idea of what was going on, based on what she felt underneath her bottom.

“Because I’m hard as a damn rock and I don’t wanna do this in my sister’s house,” Jacob growled into her ear as he nipped at the outer shell.  Ellie shivered against him, her body instantly reacting to his body and words,  and she shifted on his lap, earning a hiss from him.

“Don’t,” he warned her as his big hands gripped her hips, holding her still. “I’m gonna make you scream tonight.” Jacob informed her as he nipped at her ear lobe, the rumble of his voice causing her to moan softly as his lips caressed her. 

“Promises, promises,” Ellie daringly teased as she reached around and scratched a fingernail over his nipple.  She heard his sharp intake of breath, and she stilled, wondering if she’d maybe gone too far.  His fingers bit into the flesh of her hips almost painfully, and his eyes were clenched shut as he tried to compose himself.  She could see the muscle ticking in his jaw as he fought for control over his body.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, and so many times, and you’re gonna scream my name, over and over, and over.” His voice was thick with desire, and when he opened his eyes, Ellie saw just how dark they’d become, the intensity rendering her speechless. “And that _is_ a promise,  sweetheart.”

She felt her heartbeat quicken at his words –  at his promise – and she could feel how hard he was underneath her.  All she wanted to do was fuck him – right here, right now; damn the consequences!  Jacob gripped her hips again and lifted her off him.  He stiffly stood up next to her.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He tugged at his jeans where they were tight across his crotch. “You should go tell Lennie we’re leaving.”

“Okay,” Ellie replied breathlessly as she headed to the door. 

She was not going to argue with him anymore….

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Less than a half hour later…**

“Jacob?” Ellie repeated gently. “Do you want me to drive?”

They were sitting on the side of the road, somewhere between Baton Rouge and Pierre Part, and Ellie was watching Jacob have what appeared to be some kind of breakdown. He sat in his seat, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, and he wasn’t talking. He stared straight ahead, out over the hood of the truck, his jaw tensed.

“Jacob,” Ellie scooted over and sat closer to him, and rested her hand gently on his forearm. He was so tense and she could feel the anxiety emanating off of him.

They’d left Lennie’s house just a while ago, and everything had seemed fine. They were both happy, but somewhere between there and here, the conversation had died off and Ellie started to worry. Jacob had gotten tenser by the minute, and now he’d all but shut down. It was obvious that the shock of finding out he was going to be a father had just sank in. It seemed to be hitting him pretty hard, and she was trying desperately to not let her own nerves get the best of her as she tried to help him.

”I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Ellie,” he finally admitted, and Ellie very nearly gasped for air as she started breathing again. He was finally talking!

“You’re in shock, baby,” she offered softly. She gently pried one of his hands off the steering wheel and held it in hers. It was odd, her having to be the supportive one now, when all this time before it had been someone else supporting her.

“Please don’t think I’m saying I don’t want it….I mean…that I don’t want our baby.” He turned to look at her, and even in the dim light, Ellie could see his eyes were wide with panic. Ellie smiled at him and shook her head.

“I don’t, Jacob,” she reassured him. She laced her fingers with his and scooted closer, resting her head on his shoulder. “We’ll be okay.”

“It just hit me. All the responsibility, all the things that are gonna change.” His voice became more and more strained as he spoke, and Ellie could feel his breathing quicken as his shoulder moved against her cheek.  She sat up and placed her hand on his strong jaw and turned his face to hers.

“Listen to me. Okay?” She waited for his small nod before she continued. “We’ll be fine. You’ll be a great father, and we’ll be fine. There’s nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded slowly.

“So do you want me to drive, or can you do it?” Ellie asked him matter-of-factly. She had to get this man home so that he could relax.  He blinked a few times at her, and it looked like his head cleared a bit as he calmed down.

“I can drive,” he mumbled as he started the truck back up. Ellie began to scoot back to her side of the truck, but Jacob grabbed her thigh. “Please sit by me?”

With a smile, Ellie sat back down next to him,  leaned over and kissed him on his scruffy cheek. She really, really adored this man, even if he was acting like a big baby right now.  She rested her head back on his shoulder and smiled again when he kissed her on top of her head, and a few moments later, they were back on the road and headed home.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Ellie lay in bed, pissed off beyond belief.  She was in bed, and she was alone.

Alone!

Jacob said he needed to do something with the boats, and like an idiot, Ellie had told him to go ahead.  She should have known something was up!  Who the hell messes with boats at nearly 10pm??  He had been acting weird ever since they got back.  She sat up angrily, knowing she was not going to be able to sleep.  What an asshole!

She dragged her cell phone, a pillow, and the blanket out to the back porch and sat on the swing.  She’d just sit right here until the jackass came back.  It was no use texting him;  she’d already tried, and his damn phone had buzzed on the kitchen counter. He’d even left that behind! She lay her head back against the pillow and tried to stay awake, but eventually drifted off to sleep amidst the sounds of the swamp….

* * *

 

“Come on, baby,” the deep voice rumbled against her ear.

Ellie cracked her eyes open and groggily stared up at Jacob. He was lifting her into his arms, and cradling her against his chest. She then felt herself being carried through the house, and she lay her head back down against him and snuggled in. He was finally home, she thought with a lazy smile.

“Why did you leave me?” she whispered with her eyes closed. 

Without answering, Jacob laid her on the bed and pulled the covers up over her as she snuggled down into them. She vaguely felt him kiss her on the forehead, and then he was gone again.  He left her alone again.

_Goddamnit!_

Wide awake now, she sighed and rolled over in frustration, but it was short-lived, as she felt the bed dip and Jacob crawl in beside her.  She lay still, simultaneously not wanting him to know she was awake, but also wanting to scream at him for leaving her! She stiffened when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest. Neither spoke, and the silence was deafening, almost suffocating, as even their breathing sounded loud to her ears.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jacob whispered against her hair. 

With those soft words, the dam broke, and Ellie dragged her fist up to her mouth to quiet the sobs that were trying to break free. Hearing that, Jacob rolled her over to face him, and pulled her back into his chest. He rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly, whispering soft words of encouragement as she cried.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I just needed a minute to sort my brain out, you know?” He kissed her on her forehead tenderly, trying to comfort her as best as he could.  

"You can't leave me like that, Jacob!"  Ellie whimpered against his chest.

"I know, baby," he kissed her on her forehead again.  "I know.  I'm sorry."

Ellie's crying subsided, and before long, she was again asleep, wrapped up in Jacob's strong arms. They were both too tired, and too emotionally exhausted for anything else; it would all have to wait til the morning.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comes after "Family Ties."

**Some months down the road...**

Jacob nervously turned the key, unlocked the door, and stepped across the threshold into his house.  It was dark and gloomy, just as much as the outside;  the rain that was steadily falling matched his mood just fine.  He cursed his boots as they knocked against the floor, each step sounding loud as hell.  With his nerves already shot - _and not wanting to make any more noise than necessary_ \- he quickly kicked them off by the sofa, and headed down the hallway in search of Ellie. Just as Michael had instructed, his peace offering of chocolate ice cream, flowers, and a hastily-filled out card were held firmly in his hands. 

The light was off in their bedroom, but he could see the faint glow of the television as it reflected on the wooden floors. He cautiously pushed the door the rest of the way open, and felt his heart swell at the sight before him. His beautiful girl, his Ellie, was propped up on a mass of pillows, turned on her right side so that her swollen belly could have some support. She was hugging the pillow closest to her, and on his side of the bed, he could see that book of baby names that she’d been reading over and over.  She was so damn beautiful, and he cursed himself again for making her cry. 

He walked back down the hall and put the ice cream away, but carried the flowers and card back with him to the room. He set them down on the dresser, and quickly removed his hat and tee-shirt, and carefully crawled onto his side of the bed.  He picked up the book, and placed it on the nightstand, and rolled back over to stare at Ellie. Her beautiful lashes rested against her cheeks, and her plump lips were parted just slightly as she breathed in and out. 

Jacob smiled to himself, wondering what their girls would look like. He hoped and prayed they looked like Ellie, but Lennie was beautiful too, so if they took after the LeBlanc side, he'd be fine with that as well.  Really, all he cared about was if they were healthy or not; nothing else mattered. He reached over and smoothed some hair off her forehead, chuckling to himself as she wrinkled her nose in her sleep at his touch. He settled back against his pillow and watched her sleep a bit more as his mind ran away with his earlier thoughts.

Ellie was just barely 34 weeks, which was very close to being full-term when carrying twins – according to the doctors. Her blood pressure was high at the last visit, but not high enough to warrant immediate action. The goal was to get her to 36 weeks at least - _with longer being better_ \- but that was looking more and more unlikely; Ellie had been having contractions off and on for the past week, but none had landed her a stay in the hospital thus far.

_“Just keep an eye on her, Jacob,” the doctor had warned him before they left the last appointment a few days ago.  
_

Ellie was supposed to stay off her feet as much as possible, and try to stay away from heavy, salty foods. Despite the doctor’s assurance that all was as well as could be expected with twins, Jacob was beyond worried about her, and his stomach twisted in knots again at the thought of anything happening to her or their babies. _He had to stop thinking that way!_ he chastised himself.  Everything was going to be fine with Ellie and the babies.  Everything was going to be fine.   He reached out and grabbed her loose hand and pulled it into his chest, cradling it as he tried to get some sleep.

* * *

 

 

A few hours later, Ellie woke up, gripping her abdomen as another sharp jab of pain tore through her.  She tried to sit up, only to realize that her huge stomach was still weighing her down. When she was finally able to roll over on her back, she felt the wetness start to spill out from between her legs, and she knew it was time. Trying to squash the nerves that were rapidly rising, she looked over and was relieved to see Jacob laying there.  Even though she might be a little mad at him still, she was so damn happy to see that he had come back home.

“Jacob?” she poked her finger against his bare shoulder. When he didn’t budge, she grabbed his shoulder and shook him forcefully. _The man slept like a damn rock!_

“Jacob!!”

Jacob opened his eyes, and slowly focused on Ellie’s face. “Baby…wha..”

“We have to go to the hospital.” Ellie replied matter-of-factly. She kicked a pillow off the bed in annoyance,  and struggled to roll over the other direction. She could feel the tightness begin gripping her belly again, the pain slowly rising deep in her abdomen and wrapping around like a band that was tightening within.

“The hospital?” Jacob repeated as he groggily rubbed his face and tried to wake up.

“Jacob! Damnit! My water just broke, we have to go now!” Ellie growled as the contraction hit her full-on.  She gripped the pillow closest to her, holding it tightly as she gritted her teeth. _These contractions were already bad, so how the hell was she going to make it through the ones that would come later?_   Her clenched-shut eyes filled with tears as the fear of the unknown threatened to overtake her, and her breathing quickened as her anxiety rose.  She tried to remember how to breathe like they'd taught her in that damn class, but fuck if it wasn't hard when this pain was washing over her!  When it finally began to wane, she opened her eyes to see Jacob sitting next to her, his own eyes wide with fear as he stared back at her.

“Ellie? Are you okay?” Jacob asked, his voice breathy with his own uncertainty.  He immediately regretted such a stupid question...

“I’m scared, Jacob,” Ellie whispered back. Her eyes were wet with tears, and her chin was trembling as she stared down at her belly.  She was scared shitless - he could see it written all over her face. He reached out to grab her trembling hand, and he wrapped his strong fingers around her cold ones. When Ellie looked back at him,  Jacob could see his fear reflected in her eyes, and he knew he needed to stop being a damn wimp.  She was depending on him to be strong! If he fell apart, how the hell would Ellie keep it together? He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and looked Ellie squarely in the eye as he tilted her chin up to him. 

“I love you, sweetie.  We’re gonna go to the hospital, and you’re gonna have our babies, and everything’s gonna be fine, okay?” Jacob pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “I promise. I’ll be right here with you the entire time, okay?” He was doing his best to sound like he wasn’t worried, but inside he was a mess.  Ellie was barely into her 34th week!  It was too damn early!  He swallowed down his fear as he waited for her response. 

Finally, Ellie nodded, and Jacob was a bit relieved to see that his words seemed to calm her down, if even for just a little bit. 

Over the next few minutes, he helped her get cleaned up and dressed, and loaded her, and their things in his truck.  He called Lennie on the way to the hospital. Once there, it was a blur of doctors and nurses, of scrubs and washing hands, and before he knew it, he found himself seated next to Ellie in a sterile operating room as they prepped her for a C-Section.  One of the babies was not doing so well, and with Ellie’s water already broken, the decision was made to get the babies out as quick as possible.  Jacob swallowed nervously as the doctors made the first incision….

* * *

 

“Well??” Lennie nearly screamed at Jacob as he appeared from behind the double doors leading to the maternity ward. Her brother had a smile a mile-wide as he pulled the hospital-issued surgical cap off his head. Not waiting for a response, Lennie threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly. Jacob hugged her back and buried his face against her neck, and Lennie nearly broke down as she felt Jacob’s tears on her skin.

“It’s a girl…and a boy…” Jacob started laughing through his tears, and he leaned back to smile down at Lennie with pride. “They were wrong! We got one of each!”

“Oh my god, Jacob!!” Lennie started crying for real, tears of happiness for not only her brother, but for all that Ellie had come through. No one deserved it more than her friend.

“Congratulations, man,” Michael reached around Lennie and held his hand out, but Jacob ignored it as he released his sister, and engulfed Michael in a hug as well. Michael looked uncomfortable for a few moments, but finally relented and gingerly patted Jacob on his back.

“How is Ellie?” Lennie asked when the two men released each other. 

“She’s perfect, and beautiful, and exhausted.” Jacob ran a hand through his short hair. “The babies are in the NICU for a bit, just to make sure their lungs are strong enough.”

“So when can we see them?” Lennie asked anxiously.

“I think probably soon, but I’m not sure.” Jacob looked back at the doors, and then back at Lennie and Michael. “Let me get back to Ellie, okay? I hate to leave her alone right now.”

Michael and Lennie nodded in agreement, and watched as Jacob disappeared back through the doors.  From behind,  Michael wrapped his arms around Lennie, and rested his large hands at her stomach. 

"So, the ultrasound was wrong..." Michael murmured against Lennie's ear.

"Forget it, Fassbender," Lennie giggled as she tried to avoid his lips as they teased her neck.  "We're having another boy. It was plain as day!"

"Well, I guess we'll have to try again after this one is born, yeah?"  Michael kissed her loudly on her temple as Lennie turned in his arms, and stared up at him incredulously.  "What?"  he asked her, eyebrows raised innocently.

"You just can't stand the fact that my brother has a daughter and you don't, can you?"  Lennie narrowed her eyes on him suspiciously. 

"Of all the people in the world to have a daughter, love..." Michael shook his head as his words trailed off, and he quickly stepped out of Lennie's reach to avoid being popped.  He laughed as she continued to glare at him, her arms crossed over her basketball-sized belly.  "I love you, Lennie."  Michael chuckled again at her expression. 

"Pfftt!"  Lennie snorted as she went back over to her chair and sat down.  Michael followed and plopped down beside her. 

"You know I'm only kidding, right?"  Michael reached over and pulled one of her hands into his.  "Cooper is the best thing that ever happened to me, and this baby," he reached down and rubbed her belly tenderly, "will only make it better."

"But you want a daughter," Lennie mumbled quietly.  She wiped at her nose, and sniffled.  Beside her, Michael smiled again at Lennie's lightening-fast mood swings.  She was so sensitive, his beautiful girl, and he fell more and more in love with her everyday. He'd never had someone keep him on his toes like Lennie did!

"I just want you, and Cooper, and our new son, and whatever else we have.  Or don't."  Michael pulled her hand up for a kiss.  "You make me beyond happy, sweetheart.  Never doubt that."

Lennie looked up him, her beautiful brown eyes wet with unshed tears.  Michael nodded in assurance as he kissed the back of her hand again.

"Only you, sweetheart."

Lennie took a deep breath and wiped at her face again as she sat up a little straighter in her chair.

"I'm hungry," she said to no one in particular as she looked around the lobby.  She finally looked back at Michael. "We need to go find some food, okay?" 

Michael hid his laughter behind pursed lips as he helped Lennie stand up, and together, they walked hand-in-hand down the hallway in search of food.

From happy, to pissed off, to now hungry...that was his girl.

He wouldn't change it for the world.  

 

 


End file.
